His and Hers

1 week and 6 days before my wedding day.
There are few things left to be done, one of them is the guest list as Filipinos are really not into RSVP. And worst, the people who didn't RSVP yet are from my family hehehe!
I want to share our not so ordinary love story.

HIS LOVE STORY


I’m getting married!!!! That’s right….. Finally I have decided to get hitched and I’m really excited about it. I have been toying around with this decision for quite some time now and I know that it's time finally. According to me the goal that I had set for myself before I settle down was always to be able to support my family, my future wife and never ever be a burden to my parents financially. The practice of getting married and living of the parents is quite common in Bangladesh. It's termed as living in the “Father’s Hotel”. In some instances, the wedding expenses are all borne by the parents and the couple tries to make it on their own after that. However, I abhor this practice. I think a guy has no right to take his parents for granted and live off them. God has placed each one of us on this earth for a specific purpose and we should utilize ourselves to our full potential and make it on our own. I feel they are like parasites. So I was determined to go the whole nine yards all by myself.  I thank God for giving me the means to do so and pray that the blessing will continue.

Some love stories are dreamy. Some are accidental. Some are humorous. My love story is quite simple really.

 It all began on a Saturday, the 24th of November 2007. I was a Sr. Executive of a rapidly growing company and was looking to expand and change the market dynamics of the furniture industry. The CEO was a very talented and dynamic person and he had recruited two Filipino interior designers to change the outlook and atmosphere of our showrooms. We all knew that they were arriving on that day and we were asked to attend a short strategic session in one of our smaller showrooms with the newcomers in attendance. The session was scheduled to start at 3pm. All my teammates and I arrived on time and we were waiting for the CEO and the guest to arrive. We were all seated at a large conference table on the second floor. I thought I knew both the newcomers as I was the official attaché at their interview held two months earlier in Bangladesh. The CEO arrived and  the guest followed suit a few minutes later.
I had no idea my future would be walking into the showroom at that moment.

Time stopped for those first few moments. It was a great surprise! Of the first two candidates only one was chosen. I later learned that the other one did not push through. Instead they decided to hire another Filipina of the same caliber.  When we were introduced I was dumbstruck and barely managed to introduce myself. I know I did not make a first impression because neither of them could remember me from the first meeting. CEO informed us that they would be handling Category management and Visual merchandising.  My honey caught my attention immediately because of her stature and build. A very short and cute person and I felt like I was in the presence of an angel. I kept eyeing her all through the meeting and was having this feeling of butterflies in my tummy. I don’t know if it was love at first sight or an intense attraction to her. They were both jetlagged from the flight and were constantly yawning. Even her yawning was so cute. By 6.30 pm they decided to go home and rest. CEO and the rest of us remained to finish the exercise. For the rest of the evening my mind kept wondering back to the little cute angel and I could not concentrate on my work properly after that. That night I could not sleep properly and kept thinking of her.

The next day started out great. I usually get in to work very by 8am everyday but office starts at 9am. I go through my mails and try to finish off any pending work from the previous day. I was working on something on my PC. My workstation was situated in such a way that my back is facing the entrance door to my department. Suddenly I heard the door open and looked back. I was surprised to see her in office this early and immediately stood up to greet her. She greeted me back and asked to use my PC to check her mail. I was dumbstruck again and can’t remember what I replied but I next found myself walking in the aisle of the office outside my room and kept eyeing her through the glass door while walking up and down the aisle. She finally finished after about 20 minutes and thanked me then walked back to the room which she and Marlu were sharing.

19th December 2007. We were working late in office as usual and all were hyped up about DITF. The two newcomers were also getting ready to go back home for the Christmas holidays. So we were all in a rush to finish off all pending issues. Honey and Marlu were in Naser’ (my then boss) office discussing something. I walked in there and joined the discussion. They were teasing me that I work very late and have no social life. I was about to take my leave when Honey asked me if I was married. She assumed so cause almost all the other guys were married already. I don’t know what ticked off in me, but I just turned back and stood facing her, looked deep into her eyes and replied “Do I look like a married guy to you”. She told me later that the look had sent shock waves through her.

DITF went by without any major glitches. Honey’ reputation was at its peak cause it was the best display setup in Otobi’ history. The next event occurred in February. Honey and I, together with another colleague, went out to elephant road to source some fabrics for curtains and pillow covers.  Our colleague was in a romantic mood and she kept on teasing honey to me. I played along and just brushed off the teasing. But deep inside me I dared to hope to dream of ‘US’.

On the 23rd of Feb, I was in a supplier’s factory checking their production as we were on a tight schedule to deliver some sofa sets. About 12pm I received a text. Guess what! It was from none other than honey. She had attended a party the night before and wore a sari for the first time. She was thrilled at the feeling and wanted to share the excitement with someone. I replied back and after that we became good text mates. This went on for a couple of days after which I invited her out to dinner. She accepted and we set a date on the 29th at Casa Greek.

I could not sleep the following nights as thoughts of her occupied my mind. At 7pm on the 29th of February I was on my way to pick her up. I was bursting with anticipation of the evening and was very excited. I texted her when I reached her apartment and she came down after a few minutes. She looked gorgeous in a jeans and a pink top. We drove to the restaurant and made some polite conversation. I was careful not to speak too much as I did not want to make a bad impression. Upon reaching the restaurant I politely let her lead the way. We entered the restaurant and were seated. I kept staring at her while she made her order after which I followed suit. I tried to follow all the etiquette and she very much appreciated it such as standing up when she got up to use the washroom and back. I was especially careful while eating because I have the habit of dropping rice on the table. Nevertheless it still happened and I was horrified. But she set me at ease when she just laughed it off. I passed on a song that I loved to her after a while. I don’t know what prompted me to do that but I wanted something special and felt I could share it with her and it was the right thing to do.

Years later I look back and know it was maybe the best thing I did that night. It sealed our fates together.            
The date ended as soon as it began. They say that when you are having a good time, time flies fast. I wish I could hold back time and the date went on forever. We walked down to where my car was parked and were driven back to her place where it was time for goodbye. I bade her goodnight and she gave me a peck on my cheek. It was like electricity running through me. I knew then that this was the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with.

I don’t know when I reached back home that night but I was in a dreamy state the whole time. My mom told me that I should always have a lot of girlfriends but choose wisely before I decide on the one to marry. I did not have a lot of girlfriends but I knew I wanted to marry her after our first date. I still decided not to rush things and check if what I was feeling was indeed love or infatuation. We continued texting each other and more dates followed.

On the 12th of April, honey and her housemate (our colleague) invited me for lunch at their place. She cooked some lunch for us and it was late evening when I returned home. It was then I received a text which changed my life. She text me the message ‘I love you’. I was pretty shocked as I had already pronounced my love for her in March. She didn’t commit then so I was pretty shook up to that message. I replied with an affirmation and the rest is what they call history.

Now, here we are a year away from our marriage and I love her with all my heart and soul. If you press me to say why I love her, I can say no more than because she is she, and I am I. "If she lives to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day so I never have to live without her. Love is a force more formidable than any other. It is invisible - it cannot be seen or measured, yet it was powerful enough to transform me in a moment, and offered me more joy than any material possession could. The moment you have in your heart this extraordinary thing called love and feel the depth, the delight, the ecstasy of it, you will discover that for you the world is transformed. Time is too slow for those who wait, too swift for those who fear, too long for those who grieve, too short for those who rejoice, but for those who love, time is eternity.
I would willingly turn in to a stone bridge, for 500 years and endure the wind, the sunlight and the rain. I only ask that you walk over the bridge once."

HER LOVE STORY

"God has indeed planned each of our own blueprints right before we were born and has woven our lives to cross paths with our perfect match in the most unexpected circumstances and blessed us to finally be as one in His own perfect time."

I’m getting married! Finally, I’m getting married. I never thought that I will get married at all because when Honey and I was still at the “getting to know each other stage”, he was so vocal that “he is not the marrying type and marriage is not in his vocabulary”. I was fine with that since I’m not looking for a spouse either; I was just looking for a friend/companion in that lonely place.  Our story started the wrong way but what matters most is how we end up.

Year 2007, prior to getting the job in Bangladesh, I passed a job interview going to Dubai and another to Singapore but I have to decline because of the placement fee. It was two opportunities that I felt bad in letting go of it, but I just kept on telling myself that something better is coming my way. And before the year ends, I received a job offer much better than the Dubai & Singapore combined. Before getting the job, Bangladesh doesn’t ring a bell at all. It’s easier to explain to people that it’s beside India. At that time, Bangladesh was in the headlines due to Cyclone Sid’r. Suddenly, Bangladesh is all over the news but in a bad light that my dad doesn’t want me to go anymore. Of course, I want the job, and I know it is for my future, that even if I’m scared, it’s more of fear of the unknown, I still went to Bangladesh. It’s one of the best decisions I made in my life. My goal: to save, and nothing else.

After a month of document processing, we (my office colleague) arrived in Bangladesh in the dawn of November 24, 2007. We were picked up from the airport and dropped off to our apartment. The CEO and CHRO came over also to welcome us and to inform us that there will be Category management training on that day after lunch and for us to attend that even for a few minutes. We were so tired from the journey and with lack of sleep, we went to that 3pm training. I feel so sleepy, and I know my mind is not functioning well. I can’t remember the people that Shantanu introduced to us; Alvin was one of those people. They all look-a-like- to me, and they all look hazy to me. 

The following day, November 25th, Sunday, it’s my first official work day. WE went to the office early as we were used to working early in the Philippines. Office timing is at 9am but we were in the office a little past 8. As it was my first day, I don’t have yet my own laptop, I roamed around the empty office in search for a computer that I can use since I haven’t email my family yet. Luckily, there’s this early bird typing away in his computer already. His back is facing the glass wall and glass door that I think I gave him a shock when I entered his room and asked if I can use his computer for a few minutes. I find him a gentleman; he stood up instantly and greeted me “good morning madam. Sure, you can use it” and he gave his chair to me. He stood for awhile there before leaving the room as a courtesy since it’s not accepted yet to see a lady and a guy alone in the company. As a matter of fact, there were only 2 lady employees in the Headoffice prior to our arrival. But before he left the room, I asked why he is early and what his name is. I was surprised to hear an English sounding name, so I asked why. That’s when he said that he is a catholic. That’s the first time I met, Alvin, my honey, my future husband.

Days passed, there were lots of work because of the upcoming DITF. My department Visual Merchandising is working closely with the Category Management and Alvin is part of that department. So, there were times that we are together in a meeting, and that’s when I noticed, and I caught him sometimes, that he looks at me differently. It seems like he is trying to read me or analyze me, and it feels weird. But there’s one moment that really made me feel that this guy has a feeling for me. On the night of December 20th, as usual we were working late as we were busy with the preparation for DITF and I was scheduled to go home also for my Christmas break. Marlu, Alvin and Naser (Alvin’s boss) were inside Naser’s room while I was standing by Naser’s office door.  We were discussing something regarding DITF when Alvin asked permission from his boss that he needs to leave early, that’s when they started teasing him that he doesn’t have a social life at all. So, when he went out the door already, that’s when I asked Mr. Naser “why is he leaving early? He needs to go home to his wife?” That’s when Alvin turned back and walked towards me, and looks at me straight into the eye while I was pinned against the door, and asked “Do I look like Married?” I didn’t answer that question as he walked away already, I just assumed that he was married since majority of the guys in the office were married, and they work late according to them because they don’t want to go home to their wives (that’s a joke of course). I was really surprise and though I didn’t hear music or bells ringing, I felt something with that look; it’s boring into my eyes, deep into my soul. Shockwaves. But I just ignored it because I’m going home for my Christmas break.

When I came back from the Philippines by January, that’s when Marlu, who was in a romantic mood then, started teasing me to Alvin. Again, I just ignored it since I’m not interested. Our day-to-day conversation is just about work and nothing else. But, those mysterious looks from him continued. Maybe he was doing it discreetly but I have better instinct and senses I guess. We started to talk something other than work when I send him a message one weekend regarding the engagement ceremony of my staff. That’s the start of our more-than-office- conversations and a blossoming friendship. Yes, I introduced him to the world of “texting”, so we became literally textmates as we only talk thru SMS, but in the office, we were professional, I’m Madam Patricia to him, and he is Alvin bhai to me. We decided to go out on a date. It’s actually an overdue welcome treat that he promised me and marlu but he asked me to come alone. We talked a lot of things over dinner, my life back home, his life, why he loves working so late, why he enjoys working, his admiration to the CEO which he considers his mentor,  we talked about his tattoo, music, lovelife. One thing I notice that night that made me impressed, he is a gentleman. I feel like I’m Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman when Alvin stood up from his chair when I excused myself to go to the powder room. Before the night ends, he shared with me one of his favourite songs and requested me to listen to it when I reach home. That song is like an arrow that struck my heart; I fell in love with that song.

We became constant textmates. From morning until evening, we text each other, teasing each other , asking how’s our day and what we are doing at the moment. Months of exchanging SMS, one night he gave me a call. That call lasted for hours, and after that, every night instead of exchanging messages, he will call me and we will talk for hours, even if there are times that we don’t have anything to say anymore. Later on, when he doesn’t have anything to say anymore, he sings for me before saying goodbye. That’s my nightly lullaby. Yeah, he was serenading me over the phone. And my constant request is the song that he shared with me on our first date. This lasted for months; we are just so comfortable in texting and talking to each over the phone. Sometimes, we will invite him to come over for lunch or dinner during weekends.  He started giving me small gifts and he already proposed his love to me, but I told him I don’t have plans of staying back in BD. Even after saying that, he was willing to take chances and wait for the time that I will want to take chances also in BD. We had a non-committal relationship, or I assumed that’s what we had since I don’t have intention of staying for good in BD. It’s purely companionship, a light happy feeling. Until, we found out that the company is planning to send him out of the country to manage our outbound office. That’s when I realized he has a special spot in my heart already, and I don’t want him to go. These made me want to try and take chances with him. And, it is until now the best decision I made.

Finally, after 1419 days of exclusive dating, he came home with me last February 2012 to meet my whole family. I don’t have any idea that he has plan of proposing to me already. February 12, 2012 after his death-defying zipline ride in the morning, he proposed to me and asked my hand in marriage from my parents in the evening. 

Our relationship started the unconventional way but looking back, I will not change it in any way. What we had made us appreciate more of what we have now. Those roadblocks have reasons why they appear in our lives but we will never know the real meaning until we pass the route. In the middle of foreign land and strangers, we found each other. Maybe, somewhere in my youth, I did something good. . :)Yes, I finally found the man who compliments my weirdness, and I couldn’t ask for more.