While bloghopping, saw this article from Lovingly Crafted , and I want to share it here also. It's written 25 Ways but i counted 26 :-)
25 Ways to Keep the Music Playing by Lucy Torres-Gomez
1. Dream together. It is fun, and empowering. Dreaming makes for a happy, positive space in the mind, and propels you, no matter how subliminally, to move forward towards making them come true. Dream small dreams, dream big ones. Just connect and be in synch and dream together.
2. Make your home a happy home. Let it be a space where your man can retreat to after a busy day, a place where he can just relax and be himself and not have to worry about messing up how picture perfect everything must be. Allow him to put his feet up in the coffee table, to dump stuff on the nice couch, to make a mess in the kitchen. Let it pass when he forgets to put something back in its place. Just do it yourself instead of running after him, nagging about why he forgot for the nth time.
3. Keep yourself attractive. And interesting. We’ve all seen it happen countless times. The cat’s in the bag and you slowly decide to stop putting your best foot forward. Don’t let go of the very things that made him fall for you in the first place, physically and otherwise. This is not shallow, it is essential. Also, pursue interests and passion outside that of your man’s. When you come together at the end of the day you will have much to share with each other.
4. Smell good. Always. Why do you think we involuntarily close our eyes with a smile the moment we bury our nose in the neck of a sleeping baby? Because the joy is so sheer, but so real. And it’s so good you’ll want to do it over and over again. Think about that. No man would want to kiss a woman who smells of kitchen spices, especially when she was not even slaving in the kitchen in the first place.
5. Never take each other for granted. That applies for things both big and small, but especially small because those are the ones that pile up to potentially become an ominous mountain.
6. Be gentle, especially with criticism. Naturally at some point, because you strive to inspire each other to be better individuals, you will have to tell each other where you have gone wrong. After that, move on.
7. Do not have a Plan B. Marriage is for keeps. Do not go into it with the mindset that if it does not work, you have many options for a way out. If you start out thinking that way, already you are programming yourself that somewhere in the future, it will fall apart. And when that happens you will not even work so hard at picking up the pieces because you will simply deploy the Plan B you’ve had all along. It is better to go at marriage with a zest and verve that spells “great expectations” because most of the time in this game called life, you really do get what you expect.
8. Argue. Discuss. Fight. By all means, do all that. But do not stop loving each other through it all. It is healthy to disagree, but do so like the loving adult couple that you are. You can rise above any discussion intact and in one piece. When these things happen, give each other space to breathe and process what has been said. You will need a little time apart, even if it is just in different corners in the room. In short, know when to shut up and recognize that moment when all that needs to be said has already been said.
9. Cuddle in bed at night. And don’t forget to smile, and kiss, and hug each other. Do that when you begin your day, and also when you end your night. And every chance you get in between. These random acts will keep the fire burning. Get used to it so that you will miss it when it’s not there. Take advantage of the joy of text messaging. It is like being given the freedom and the chance to constantly write little love notes to each other.
10. Don’t lose yourself in the other person. Stay true to who you are, have a little life outside of his. He did not choose you so that he will have a shadow, a female version of himself. Celebrate your diversities, they will make for entries in that long list of why you love each other.
11. Eat together. Cook together. There is something about food and love that work very well together.
12. Pray over your man while he is sleeping. And love him in a relaxed, happy manner. You are not Bantay, the dog. You have a life to live, things to do, a household to run. You have to trust your man, the sanctity of your marriage vows, and believe that when it comes to temptation, God’s grace begins where his self-control may end. It is useless and disrespectful to yourself when you spend all your energy monitoring his whereabouts. Trust that he knows when he has a good thing going, and believe he will not do anything stupid to jeopardize that. Love is not about being suspicious or paranoid. That is no way to love.
13. Do not make marriage a license for him to always see you at your worst. Do not be so “natural” that you will go down and have dinner with his friends with your facemask on, in your duster, with uncombed hair. Do not pick your nose or let out gas and think it is cute and/or funny, and that he will think it is cute and/or funny. These are things that only kids under eight years old can get away with.
14. Love is an everyday commitment. Yes, it is an everyday decision. You wake up each day reaffirming the fact that nothing can and will take that love away. Make that part of your daily prayer.
15. Feel free to admire others openly. But tell him that he can look only, no touch. You do not have to take offense when your man finds someone else attractive. It just means a) he has good taste (if the woman is indeed pretty) or b) it is a full moon and he will snap out of his delirium soon enough (if the object of admiration is far from, shall we say and for lack of a better word, admirable). He may be having one of those days, similar to our version of PMS. Do not make “a” or “b” a reason to fight, or even so much as argue.
16. Get used to being affectionate. Be vocal about how you feel for each other, too. They are like talismans. A hug always feels good. Words heal. Use both in the best way possible, many, many times, all the time
17. Remember that your man does not have a crystal ball. The silent treatment will bring forth nothing but, you guessed it, silence. Tell him what is on your mind, and get it over with. Then you can move forward instead of steeping in (oftentimes unfounded) negative feelings of rejection, resentment, hurt.
18. Listen to great old love songs. At the risk of sounding like a broken record I highly recommend Rod Stewart’s “Great American Songbook Volumes I-IV.” Tony Bennett, too. And OPM. I can listen to those songs forever and ever. Sadly, the new generation of love songs (the greater lot of them, anyway) suffer from a poverty of thoughts; after the brilliant first stanza and if you’re lucky, a sparkling chorus, too, everything just sort of repeats and gets soggy and sappy towards the end, like they worried more about the words rhyming than they ever did the message). Somehow, they just don’t hold up as well as the old songs do where, long after the last line has been breathlessly sung, you still think about the words, and the thoughts they leave in your mind. And in a strange and unexpected way it makes you understand and appreciate your own love story better, and more. A good song has the power of making you feel all woozy and mushy and grateful to have someone to love and who loves your right back. It is a personal experience always. Don’t ask me how or why, it is just is.
19. Make time for what you choose to have in your life. Nothing comes from nothing. If you want intimacy and close ties with your loved one, spend time with him/her. Lots of time. Talk, and laugh, and build memories together. There are no shortcuts here.
20. Fan an interest in what your man does. You can drift apart if you have nothing in common.
21. Spirituality is important. Do not underestimate that. I will not be preachy here but suffice to say that making God a part of your marriage makes it more than just a little bit great.
22. For those with children: Do not be a great mother at the expense of being a great wife. You should not expend so much energy on the children that you do not have any left for your spouse.
23. Have loving conversations. Always.
24. Be affectionate, encouraging, and warm.
25. Do not be too breathless with life. Watch your pace. Physical exhaustion from all of life’s busyness will zap the romance.
26. Do not sweat the small stuff. Period. Really. It just is not worth it.
Showing posts with label Articles. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Articles. Show all posts
Sunday, August 4, 2013
Tuesday, April 16, 2013
8 Ways to a Finance - Savvy Marriage
I love reading Patty laurel's blog, it's refreshing, fun, light but full of tips. So, while browsing her blog because I wasn't able to read it regularly as I'm busy with wedding preps, I saw this article and I know it is something I can adapt also to my married life.
1. Income – Savings = Expenses. This formula throws away the more common albeit askew, Income – Expenses = Savings. The most prevalent mistake people commit these days is to set aside only the “crumbs” of our money—and on peak seasons like December, we end up saving none. This should never be the case. As soon as you get your money, it is wisest to set aside a certain amount for savings before you spend the whole thing at the mall ;)
2. Generally, savings must be at least 6 months’ worth of your salary. The truth is, there is really no hard-and-fast rule on the amount or percentage of income that you should be keeping as savings. In a finance seminar I attended, the speaker told us that we should keep an amount that satisfies us mentally, emotionally, and psychologically. If you’re looking for a specific benchmark, though, I find that for newlyweds, having an amount equal to (at least) 6 months’ of your individual salary is good enough. This is your “safety net” in case something unexpected comes up, and you or your spouse cannot earn as usual.
3. Open a joint account but keep your individual accounts. As a married couple, it is a must that you have at least one joint account under your names. Your wealth, after all, belongs to the both of you as one unit. Use the funds in your joint account for common expenses like household bills, insurance premiums, vacations, etc. That said, I think it is equally vital to maintain your separate accounts. Why? Because inevitably, you and your spouse will have expenses that are “unique” to each of you, and you would want the freedom to be able to pay for those yourself (ie, salon treatments for the wives!). Of course, this doesn’t mean you have to reject your partner’s offers for a treat. The point is simply that you have some legroom for your separate interests (or even luxuries!) without having to feel guilty that you took a lot from the common fund. This empowers both individuals in the marriage and helps keeps the peace at home, too!
4. Stick to a budget. More accurately, set a household budget for the family as well as a personal budget for your individual expenses. And honor it! J Setting a budget isn’t a matter of just plucking a random amount and calling it your limit every month. It’s a little more complicated than that. Wise budgeting involves recognizing the lifestyle you are used to vis-a-vis the lifestyle that would suit you as a couple; being honest about each other’s financial situation; setting financial priorities and goals together; and agreeing on expenses that can be put on hold. Feel free, however, to leave one or two “sacred” things that you can leave out of the budget and can splurge on, such as food, a special getaway, or your kids’ education.
5. Who’s in charge of paying the bills? This is a simple rule of thumb as it is painfully practical. Between you and your partner, designate the one who will be responsible in physically settling your bills. Ideally, this should be the partner who can better remember due dates, can keep bills and receipts, can keep track of expenses—generally, the more OC one ;)
6. Do NOT ever get into credit card debt. Live within your means. See Rules #1 and #4. If this is too late, prioritize paying off ALL your debts as soon as possible. This prevents the compounding of monthly interests, not to mention finally enjoying better sleep!
7. Invest. Please get rid of the misconception that investments are only for people who have “extra money”. On the contrary, good investments should benefit those who don’t have a lot… or, in the case of newlyweds, those who are just about to begin life together! Don’t be afraid to talk to a financial adviser or your bank account manager for this. There may be ways to put your hard-earned money into an investment product that can yield higher profit than, say, a regular savings account.
8. Know your tax benefits as a married couple. Do you know that you can make deductions to your income tax if you declare yourself as head of the family? Yes oh yes! Other deductions may also be available to you, so be sure to know your tax rights :)
Being financially stable as an individual is challenging enough; add another person into the equation and the task may seem a little more difficult. The good news is that this “other person” is your better half, and so the journey to financial freedom and stability should be a happy, adventurous one! :) Love, Stella
By Stella Pastores-Esquivias
1. Income – Savings = Expenses. This formula throws away the more common albeit askew, Income – Expenses = Savings. The most prevalent mistake people commit these days is to set aside only the “crumbs” of our money—and on peak seasons like December, we end up saving none. This should never be the case. As soon as you get your money, it is wisest to set aside a certain amount for savings before you spend the whole thing at the mall ;)
2. Generally, savings must be at least 6 months’ worth of your salary. The truth is, there is really no hard-and-fast rule on the amount or percentage of income that you should be keeping as savings. In a finance seminar I attended, the speaker told us that we should keep an amount that satisfies us mentally, emotionally, and psychologically. If you’re looking for a specific benchmark, though, I find that for newlyweds, having an amount equal to (at least) 6 months’ of your individual salary is good enough. This is your “safety net” in case something unexpected comes up, and you or your spouse cannot earn as usual.
3. Open a joint account but keep your individual accounts. As a married couple, it is a must that you have at least one joint account under your names. Your wealth, after all, belongs to the both of you as one unit. Use the funds in your joint account for common expenses like household bills, insurance premiums, vacations, etc. That said, I think it is equally vital to maintain your separate accounts. Why? Because inevitably, you and your spouse will have expenses that are “unique” to each of you, and you would want the freedom to be able to pay for those yourself (ie, salon treatments for the wives!). Of course, this doesn’t mean you have to reject your partner’s offers for a treat. The point is simply that you have some legroom for your separate interests (or even luxuries!) without having to feel guilty that you took a lot from the common fund. This empowers both individuals in the marriage and helps keeps the peace at home, too!
4. Stick to a budget. More accurately, set a household budget for the family as well as a personal budget for your individual expenses. And honor it! J Setting a budget isn’t a matter of just plucking a random amount and calling it your limit every month. It’s a little more complicated than that. Wise budgeting involves recognizing the lifestyle you are used to vis-a-vis the lifestyle that would suit you as a couple; being honest about each other’s financial situation; setting financial priorities and goals together; and agreeing on expenses that can be put on hold. Feel free, however, to leave one or two “sacred” things that you can leave out of the budget and can splurge on, such as food, a special getaway, or your kids’ education.
5. Who’s in charge of paying the bills? This is a simple rule of thumb as it is painfully practical. Between you and your partner, designate the one who will be responsible in physically settling your bills. Ideally, this should be the partner who can better remember due dates, can keep bills and receipts, can keep track of expenses—generally, the more OC one ;)
6. Do NOT ever get into credit card debt. Live within your means. See Rules #1 and #4. If this is too late, prioritize paying off ALL your debts as soon as possible. This prevents the compounding of monthly interests, not to mention finally enjoying better sleep!
7. Invest. Please get rid of the misconception that investments are only for people who have “extra money”. On the contrary, good investments should benefit those who don’t have a lot… or, in the case of newlyweds, those who are just about to begin life together! Don’t be afraid to talk to a financial adviser or your bank account manager for this. There may be ways to put your hard-earned money into an investment product that can yield higher profit than, say, a regular savings account.
8. Know your tax benefits as a married couple. Do you know that you can make deductions to your income tax if you declare yourself as head of the family? Yes oh yes! Other deductions may also be available to you, so be sure to know your tax rights :)
Being financially stable as an individual is challenging enough; add another person into the equation and the task may seem a little more difficult. The good news is that this “other person” is your better half, and so the journey to financial freedom and stability should be a happy, adventurous one! :) Love, Stella
Visit Stella's blog here.
Sunday, October 7, 2012
20 Things I want to tell to Engaged and Newlywed Women
20 Things I want to tell to Engaged and Newlywed Women
1. Marriage is made up of two good forgivers. Because every marriage is made up of two sinners. (Romans 3:23)
2. At some point, you will have to learn that life isn’t all about you. (Philippians 2:3)
3. Don’t listen to women that tell you that passion fades…it doesn’t have to! (um…all of Song of Solomon)
4. Don’t give up. Love never fails. (1 Cor. 13)
5. He wants a kind wife, not a maid or another mother. Be nice. (Galatians 5:22-23)
6. Give your husband the gift of your respect. He needs it more than you know. (Ephesians 5:33)
7. Be mindful of your expectations.
8. Honor the Lord above all things. Colossians 3: 17
9. Find your worth and security in the Lord, and don’t look to your husband to meet all of your needs.
10. Be very careful about reading romance novels, they set you up for an unrealistic view of romance.
11. Real romance is finding that one spot in the crook of his arm to snuggle into, that shared look over the dinner table when the kids are acting crazy, and the way he fixes the leaky sink when he is dog-tired after work.
12. Love is about relationship. The more I love my husband, and seek a relationship with him, the less critical and duty-bound I become. It is similar to my relationship with God.
13. Be thankful for the husband you have. Accept him as he is, not for what you want him to be.
14. Don’t compare!! Don’t buy into the game of comparing him with anyone else’s husband.
15.The Biblically “normal” marriage is filled with joy, connection, laughter, and peace. It’s not free of hurt feelings and conflict, but they know how to process their pain with one another so that they live more often in a meadow than at the scene of a train wreck. This is not the average marriage, but it normal – -because it is a visible display of Jesus’ relationship with His bride (Ephesians 5:22-33).
16. Your marriage is a testimony! “The #1 evangelistic tool in America Multnomah Bible College
17. Pray for your marriage. Pray hard.
18.I’ve heard that is gets better with age.
19. Where there is God, there is always hope. Even for the most broken marriages. “With God all things are possible.” (Matthew 19:26)
20.Marriage is commitment and sacrifice. But it’s also the best, most wild ride you will ever have with your best friend.
Monday, March 26, 2012
WEDDING GUESTS ETIQUETTE
It's Bangladesh's Independence Day! That makes it a non-working holiday here, so I'm home alone again. And still, I'm in wedding preps mode. Research, browse, daydream, drool on someone else's wedding gowns,suppliers and preparations! Oh! If only I can spend that much money for my own wedding :-)
While browsing, I chance upon this article from weddingsatwork.com . Well, Filipinos are known for "not replying to the RSVP", but I hope my carefully selected guests will find time to RSVP and to actually attend the event.
You're Invited ! Q & A for Wedding Guests by: John & Benz Rana
Q. I got an invite but have no plans of attending; should I still send a gift?
A.First thing's first. If you won't be able to attend for whatever reason, please RSVP. A big chunk of the wedding budget goes to the reception and it will be utterly inconsiderate to just give up a reserved seat without letting the couple know. Give them the chance to assign that seat to another guest in their "waitlist." Having that out of the way, let's get to your question: YES, it is customary to still send a gift.
Q. The envelope bears only my name. May I ask if I can bring a date?
A. Don't bring a date unless your invitation specifically says "and Guest." Bringing unexpected guests is very impolite. Neither should you ask the couple's permission if you may bring one or not. Don't put your friends on the spot. We Filipinos don't really like turning down people. So how would you know if their "Yes" means yes or not? Spare them that trouble.
Q. The invite says "Mr. & Mrs." Could we bring our kids?
A. Never bring the kids unless "& Family" is indicated. Soon-to-weds don't usually invite children for a good reason. Kids get bored or cranky during hour-long masses. Their tantrums might disrupt the solemnity of the ceremony. Weddings are usually formal events typically not appropriate for the little ones. To be blunt about it, inviting a child at the reception means added two mouths to feed - the kid's and the yaya's.
Follow-up Q. But my son/daughter is the bearer/flower girl. I'm sure it's understood that my other child is invited.
A. Which part of the answer above didn't you understand? Seriously, if the couple wanted to invite your other kid, they would have specified that on the envelope.
2nd follow-up Q. But I'm breastfeeding, I'm sure my friends will understand, won't they?
A. Granting that it's an infant and he or she won't eat at the reception - let's even assume that your baby won't wail at the church - the answer is still NO! Not even if you've perfected the art of being a cow in a long gown. Four words: Breast Pump and Babysitter!
Q. I don't have a clue what gift to give them. Any ideas?
A. The average Pinoy soon-to-wed would always prefer monetary gifts more than any other gift. It is the unspoken fact. We're telling you now to make it easier for them to let you know what they REALLY want; unless they indicated that already in their invites which, by the way, is a very tacky thing to do.
If you're not comfortable giving cash, you may ask the couple where they are registered (Gift / Bridal Registry) and choose from what's listed under their names in the store. You can also ask them where they're residing after the wedding and take the cue from there. If you know that they'll be migrating abroad or living with their parents for the time being, a ref or another oven toaster may not be the most practical and logical gift.
Q. I'm convinced. So how much cash should I give them? I don't want to give too little or too much.
A. That's a hard thing to answer. It's really a case-to-case thing. Try to put yourself in the couple's shoes. How much should a guest of your stature give you without being branded a cheapskate? Also consider your relationship with the couple. If you're good friends of the couple's parents, you'll probably shell-out more than if you were simply the bride's Girl Friday.
Q. Could I skip the ceremony and head straight to the reception?
A. You can. BUT you shouldn't! You are invited to THE wedding -- that's the part where they exchange their "I dos." The reception is where the Receiving Line is. You can't be 'received' if you are already seated in the hall, right? "Patay-gutom" is too harsh a word and we assure you that it's by no means what anyone would think if indeed you decide to go straight to the reception. But admit that it struck a nerve just mentioning the word in that context, isn't it?
Q. Speaking of the Receiving Line, what should be the proper greeting?
A. Here's the rule: Say "Congratulations" to the groom and "Best Wishes" to the bride. The reason behind is that "congrats" implies that someone has caught something or won a prize, and it is rather improper to imply that the bride "caught" the man who married her. If this rule gets mixed-up in your head come wedding day, just say the two phrases together and look at both of them. That usually works!
Likewise, saying "Good Luck!" no matter how pure your wishes are will also sound very inappropriate for obvious reasons.
Q. Nice try, but what if the couple makes a Grand Entrance and left the Receiving Line to their parents? What then should I tell them? Note that I don't even know which sets of parents are whose.
A. Didn't we tell you already not to skip the ceremony? The bride and groom usually walk alongside their respective parents at the very start!
Anyway, make your pleasantries short and sweet. Shake their hands and say "Hello! I'm (your name) and I went to school with (name of bride/groom) in (school's name)/an officemate of (name of bride/groom) at (name of company)." They usually respond with "Nice meeting you." Just smile, nod politely, and move on to the next person. If one replies "Hi! I've heard so much about you!", simply smile and nod just the same. No lengthy conversation; just make small talk at most. If you can't find the words to say, just smile again, nod politely, and move.
Q. During the banquet, is there anything I need to know?
A. Nowadays, the Reception Program usually have the guests on each table stand up and have their picture taken with the couple before being led to the buffet. This is done to resolve two issues of past weddings: (a) for the couple's convenience and skip the tiring Table-Hopping ritual just to have their picture taken with all their guests; and (b) for the guests' convenience so they won't have to wait very long for their turn in the buffet line.
Keep in mind that Buffet is NOT synonymous with "Eat-All-You-Can." Do not pile your plate full. Be courteous of those who have yet to be served. Don't worry. You can easily go for seconds.
Q. I'm used to a Buffet setting, but what if it's a formal Sit-Down Dinner? Which fork do I start with again?
A. You're on your own, pal. Watch "Pretty Woman" again and see how Julia Roberts nailed it!
While browsing, I chance upon this article from weddingsatwork.com . Well, Filipinos are known for "not replying to the RSVP", but I hope my carefully selected guests will find time to RSVP and to actually attend the event.
You're Invited ! Q & A for Wedding Guests by: John & Benz Rana
Q. I got an invite but have no plans of attending; should I still send a gift?
A.First thing's first. If you won't be able to attend for whatever reason, please RSVP. A big chunk of the wedding budget goes to the reception and it will be utterly inconsiderate to just give up a reserved seat without letting the couple know. Give them the chance to assign that seat to another guest in their "waitlist." Having that out of the way, let's get to your question: YES, it is customary to still send a gift.
Q. The envelope bears only my name. May I ask if I can bring a date?
A. Don't bring a date unless your invitation specifically says "and Guest." Bringing unexpected guests is very impolite. Neither should you ask the couple's permission if you may bring one or not. Don't put your friends on the spot. We Filipinos don't really like turning down people. So how would you know if their "Yes" means yes or not? Spare them that trouble.
Q. The invite says "Mr. & Mrs." Could we bring our kids?
A. Never bring the kids unless "& Family" is indicated. Soon-to-weds don't usually invite children for a good reason. Kids get bored or cranky during hour-long masses. Their tantrums might disrupt the solemnity of the ceremony. Weddings are usually formal events typically not appropriate for the little ones. To be blunt about it, inviting a child at the reception means added two mouths to feed - the kid's and the yaya's.
Follow-up Q. But my son/daughter is the bearer/flower girl. I'm sure it's understood that my other child is invited.
A. Which part of the answer above didn't you understand? Seriously, if the couple wanted to invite your other kid, they would have specified that on the envelope.
2nd follow-up Q. But I'm breastfeeding, I'm sure my friends will understand, won't they?
A. Granting that it's an infant and he or she won't eat at the reception - let's even assume that your baby won't wail at the church - the answer is still NO! Not even if you've perfected the art of being a cow in a long gown. Four words: Breast Pump and Babysitter!
Q. I don't have a clue what gift to give them. Any ideas?
A. The average Pinoy soon-to-wed would always prefer monetary gifts more than any other gift. It is the unspoken fact. We're telling you now to make it easier for them to let you know what they REALLY want; unless they indicated that already in their invites which, by the way, is a very tacky thing to do.
If you're not comfortable giving cash, you may ask the couple where they are registered (Gift / Bridal Registry) and choose from what's listed under their names in the store. You can also ask them where they're residing after the wedding and take the cue from there. If you know that they'll be migrating abroad or living with their parents for the time being, a ref or another oven toaster may not be the most practical and logical gift.
Q. I'm convinced. So how much cash should I give them? I don't want to give too little or too much.
A. That's a hard thing to answer. It's really a case-to-case thing. Try to put yourself in the couple's shoes. How much should a guest of your stature give you without being branded a cheapskate? Also consider your relationship with the couple. If you're good friends of the couple's parents, you'll probably shell-out more than if you were simply the bride's Girl Friday.
Q. Could I skip the ceremony and head straight to the reception?
A. You can. BUT you shouldn't! You are invited to THE wedding -- that's the part where they exchange their "I dos." The reception is where the Receiving Line is. You can't be 'received' if you are already seated in the hall, right? "Patay-gutom" is too harsh a word and we assure you that it's by no means what anyone would think if indeed you decide to go straight to the reception. But admit that it struck a nerve just mentioning the word in that context, isn't it?
Q. Speaking of the Receiving Line, what should be the proper greeting?
A. Here's the rule: Say "Congratulations" to the groom and "Best Wishes" to the bride. The reason behind is that "congrats" implies that someone has caught something or won a prize, and it is rather improper to imply that the bride "caught" the man who married her. If this rule gets mixed-up in your head come wedding day, just say the two phrases together and look at both of them. That usually works!
Likewise, saying "Good Luck!" no matter how pure your wishes are will also sound very inappropriate for obvious reasons.
Q. Nice try, but what if the couple makes a Grand Entrance and left the Receiving Line to their parents? What then should I tell them? Note that I don't even know which sets of parents are whose.
A. Didn't we tell you already not to skip the ceremony? The bride and groom usually walk alongside their respective parents at the very start!
Anyway, make your pleasantries short and sweet. Shake their hands and say "Hello! I'm (your name) and I went to school with (name of bride/groom) in (school's name)/an officemate of (name of bride/groom) at (name of company)." They usually respond with "Nice meeting you." Just smile, nod politely, and move on to the next person. If one replies "Hi! I've heard so much about you!", simply smile and nod just the same. No lengthy conversation; just make small talk at most. If you can't find the words to say, just smile again, nod politely, and move.
Q. During the banquet, is there anything I need to know?
A. Nowadays, the Reception Program usually have the guests on each table stand up and have their picture taken with the couple before being led to the buffet. This is done to resolve two issues of past weddings: (a) for the couple's convenience and skip the tiring Table-Hopping ritual just to have their picture taken with all their guests; and (b) for the guests' convenience so they won't have to wait very long for their turn in the buffet line.
Keep in mind that Buffet is NOT synonymous with "Eat-All-You-Can." Do not pile your plate full. Be courteous of those who have yet to be served. Don't worry. You can easily go for seconds.
Q. I'm used to a Buffet setting, but what if it's a formal Sit-Down Dinner? Which fork do I start with again?
A. You're on your own, pal. Watch "Pretty Woman" again and see how Julia Roberts nailed it!
Saturday, March 17, 2012
My Man
While bloghopping, I saw this wonderful article from this blog. I asked permission to share it here also. A year from now, I'll be getting married to a wonderful man, who loves me with all his heart and in the best way he knows.I know I'm marrying a good man, whether he is a smoker or non-smoker. That's not what defines him really, but non-smoker is a plus points.
I used to date guys who doesn't smoke. Actually, that's one criteria that I look for a guy. I don't smoke and i hate the smell of the cigarette's smoke. My dad smokes a lot, and in our small apartment, whenever he is around smoking, the air feels cloggy, congested, and polluted. He stopped before but then for some reasons, he went back to his habit. But, I don't hate smokers, I just don't like having a boyfriend who smokes. I read somewhere before, it's gross kissing an ashtray.
H used to smoke. He started young, maybe around 15, and it's normal here. Smoking here is like a status symbol for men. It seems like 9 out 10 men here are smokers. They are not just casual smokers but chain smokers. But, the guys here are discreet with their smoking, they don't smoke with lady colleagues around, or with boss around even if the boss smokes too, or with someone who's higher than them but not necessarily their boss. Like my driver, I know that he smokes, and he knows that I know that, but whenever he sees me, he hides his cigarettes behind him. Same with my other colleagues, either they excuse themselves or do not smoke until I leave. Ladies who smokes are not openly accepted here.
H knows from the very start that I don't like guys who smokes. When we started dating, he lessen his smoking. From 5 sticks a day, it came down to 3 sticks a day. After-a-while, it became occasionally smoking. And finally, he totally dropped the habit. It's been 3 1/2 years now. That's for me is one of his biggest sacrifice in the name of love, for I know how difficult it is to dropped a habit. And that is one thing I love about him too, he is one disciplined man and a goal achiever.
I copied the whole article here to share. It's a wonderful thing to read. I just see my man in this article. It's even similar to an article I read a few weeks ago, I just can't recall the title but it's something about "Marry a Girl who Travels".
MARRY A MAN WHO DOESN’T SMOKE
by Julie Trinidad.
(Inspired by Marry a Woman Who Can Read)
Marry a man who doesn’t smoke- because the man who doesn’t smoke lives a healthy lifestyle. And because his body is healthy, his mind is healthy too. Since he’s in his right mind, he thinks before he speaks and acts on what is proper and not on mere impulse.
A man who doesn’t smoke knows the value of time. He doesn’t while it away by puffing a cigarette nor go out of his way just to find a light. And because he knows the value of time, he will surely treasure every moment you’re together. He will never forget the important milestones in your life, and he won’t show up late on your wedding day ,instead he’ll be there handsomely waiting for you by the altar looking and smelling all fresh since he didn’t have to smoke before your exchange of vows.
Marry a man who doesn’t smoke because a man who doesn’t smoke is disciplined. Since he has self control, he doesn’t binge nor cringe on pressures brought about by work, peers or family problems. Since he doesn’t break in pressure, he only becomes stronger and better through time. Since he’s in control, he’s responsible and because he’s responsible, he’ll take care of you and your family, he won’t leave you begging and crying or worrying about tomorrow, and will let you live a life that you deserve.
A man who doesn’t smoke knows how to say no to the things he doesn’t need. Since he knows he doesn’t need a cigarette to be sane nor to look cool, he’s wise enough to say no to illegal drugs, and other vices, more so to addiction to any of it. Since the man refuses to give in to the bad stuff, he’ll be wise enough to say no to other temptations that will come along his way.
Marry a man who doesn’t smoke-because a man who doesn’t smoke is not selfish. He doesn’t think of himself, and what he wants alone but considers the people around him as well. Since he’s considerate, he’ll always think about your happiness and the welfare of your children. Because he’s selfless, he’ll never hurt you (not deliberately at least), nor leave you for another, especially not for the man in a cowboy hat.
The man who doesn’t smoke may not be perfect, but he’ll surely be a cut above the rest. For this man knows his values and knows how to value his life and everything in it. And because he values life, he values love so he’ll value you-as his wife and because he values you, he’ll treat you with much care and compassion. He’ll try his best to please you and love you the best way he knows how. And because he’ll love you like that, you’ll never have to look for a prince charming nor a knight in shining armour anymore in your quest for a fairy tale. He won’t leave you delusional fretting over Prince William’s wedding, wishing hopelessly that you’d be Kate even just for a day. Because this man who doesn’t smoke, whom you married, will give you his healthy, responsible, and selfless (not to mention smokeless) heart, with the love
that’s FOR REAL- no butts, toxin-free.
But what like I said earlier, smoking doesn't define my H. He is a man with discipline and values even before, he just added more value to his life and to his family when he decided to quit smoking.
I used to date guys who doesn't smoke. Actually, that's one criteria that I look for a guy. I don't smoke and i hate the smell of the cigarette's smoke. My dad smokes a lot, and in our small apartment, whenever he is around smoking, the air feels cloggy, congested, and polluted. He stopped before but then for some reasons, he went back to his habit. But, I don't hate smokers, I just don't like having a boyfriend who smokes. I read somewhere before, it's gross kissing an ashtray.
H used to smoke. He started young, maybe around 15, and it's normal here. Smoking here is like a status symbol for men. It seems like 9 out 10 men here are smokers. They are not just casual smokers but chain smokers. But, the guys here are discreet with their smoking, they don't smoke with lady colleagues around, or with boss around even if the boss smokes too, or with someone who's higher than them but not necessarily their boss. Like my driver, I know that he smokes, and he knows that I know that, but whenever he sees me, he hides his cigarettes behind him. Same with my other colleagues, either they excuse themselves or do not smoke until I leave. Ladies who smokes are not openly accepted here.
H knows from the very start that I don't like guys who smokes. When we started dating, he lessen his smoking. From 5 sticks a day, it came down to 3 sticks a day. After-a-while, it became occasionally smoking. And finally, he totally dropped the habit. It's been 3 1/2 years now. That's for me is one of his biggest sacrifice in the name of love, for I know how difficult it is to dropped a habit. And that is one thing I love about him too, he is one disciplined man and a goal achiever.
I copied the whole article here to share. It's a wonderful thing to read. I just see my man in this article. It's even similar to an article I read a few weeks ago, I just can't recall the title but it's something about "Marry a Girl who Travels".
MARRY A MAN WHO DOESN’T SMOKE
by Julie Trinidad.
(Inspired by Marry a Woman Who Can Read)
Marry a man who doesn’t smoke- because the man who doesn’t smoke lives a healthy lifestyle. And because his body is healthy, his mind is healthy too. Since he’s in his right mind, he thinks before he speaks and acts on what is proper and not on mere impulse.
A man who doesn’t smoke knows the value of time. He doesn’t while it away by puffing a cigarette nor go out of his way just to find a light. And because he knows the value of time, he will surely treasure every moment you’re together. He will never forget the important milestones in your life, and he won’t show up late on your wedding day ,instead he’ll be there handsomely waiting for you by the altar looking and smelling all fresh since he didn’t have to smoke before your exchange of vows.
Marry a man who doesn’t smoke because a man who doesn’t smoke is disciplined. Since he has self control, he doesn’t binge nor cringe on pressures brought about by work, peers or family problems. Since he doesn’t break in pressure, he only becomes stronger and better through time. Since he’s in control, he’s responsible and because he’s responsible, he’ll take care of you and your family, he won’t leave you begging and crying or worrying about tomorrow, and will let you live a life that you deserve.
A man who doesn’t smoke knows how to say no to the things he doesn’t need. Since he knows he doesn’t need a cigarette to be sane nor to look cool, he’s wise enough to say no to illegal drugs, and other vices, more so to addiction to any of it. Since the man refuses to give in to the bad stuff, he’ll be wise enough to say no to other temptations that will come along his way.
Marry a man who doesn’t smoke-because a man who doesn’t smoke is not selfish. He doesn’t think of himself, and what he wants alone but considers the people around him as well. Since he’s considerate, he’ll always think about your happiness and the welfare of your children. Because he’s selfless, he’ll never hurt you (not deliberately at least), nor leave you for another, especially not for the man in a cowboy hat.
The man who doesn’t smoke may not be perfect, but he’ll surely be a cut above the rest. For this man knows his values and knows how to value his life and everything in it. And because he values life, he values love so he’ll value you-as his wife and because he values you, he’ll treat you with much care and compassion. He’ll try his best to please you and love you the best way he knows how. And because he’ll love you like that, you’ll never have to look for a prince charming nor a knight in shining armour anymore in your quest for a fairy tale. He won’t leave you delusional fretting over Prince William’s wedding, wishing hopelessly that you’d be Kate even just for a day. Because this man who doesn’t smoke, whom you married, will give you his healthy, responsible, and selfless (not to mention smokeless) heart, with the love
that’s FOR REAL- no butts, toxin-free.
But what like I said earlier, smoking doesn't define my H. He is a man with discipline and values even before, he just added more value to his life and to his family when he decided to quit smoking.
Monday, February 2, 2009
100 Best Things of Being Pinoy
Received this in an email... Pinoy is the slang or short term for a Filipino, the nationality of a person from the Philippines.
*FROM the 1896 Revolution to the first Philippine Republic, the Commonwealth period, the EDSA Revolt, and the tiger cub economy, history marches on. Thankfully, however, some things never change. Like the classics, things irresistibly Pinoy mark us for life. They're the indelible stamp of our identity, the undeniable affinity that binds us like twins. They celebrate the good in us, the best of our culture and the infinite possibilities we are all capable of. Some are so self-explanatory you only need mention them for fellow Pinoys to swoon or drool. Here, from all over this Centennial-crazed country and in no particular order, are a hundred of the best things that make us unmistakably Pinoy. *
1. *Merienda.* Where else is it normal to eat five times a day?
2. *Sawsawan.* Assorted sauces that guarantee freedom of choice, enough room for experimentation and maximum tolerance for diverse tastes. Favorites: toyo't calamansi, suka at sili, patis.
3. *Kuwan, ano.* At a loss for words? Try these and marvel at how Pinoys understand exactly what you want.
4. *Pinoy humor and irreverence. * If you're api and you know it, crack a joke. Nothing personal, really.
5. *Tingi.* Thank goodness for small entrepreneurs. Where else can we buy cigarettes, soap, condiments and life's essentials in small affordable amounts?
6. *Spirituality. * Even before the Spaniards came, ethnic tribes had their own anitos, bathalas and assorted deities, pointing to a strong relationship with the Creator, who or whatever it may be.
7. *Po , opo, mano po.* Speech suffixes that define courtesy, deference, filial respect--a balm to the spirit in these aggressive times.
8. *Pasalubong. * Our way of sharing the vicarious thrills and delights of a trip, and a wonderful excuse to shop without the customary guilt.
9. *Beaches!* With 7,000 plus islands, we have miles and miles of shoreline piled high with fine white sand, lapped by warm waters, and nibbled by exotic tropical fish. From the stormy seas of Batanes to the emerald isles of Palawan --over here, life is truly a beach.
10. *Bagoong. *Darkly mysterious, this smelly fish or shrimp paste typifies the underlying theme of most ethnic foods: disgustingly unhygienic, unbearably stinky and simply irresistible.
11. *Bayanihan.* Yes, the internationally- renowned dance company, but also this habit of pitching in still common in small communities. Just have that cold beer and some pulutan ready for the troops.
12. *The Balikbayan box.* Another way of sharing life's bounty, no matter if it seems like we're fleeing Pol Pot every time we head home from anywhere in the globe. The most wonderful part is that, more often than not, the contents are carted home to be distributed.
13. *Pilipino komiks.* Not to mention "Hiwaga," "Aliwan," "Tagalog Classics," "Liwayway" and"Bulaklak" magazines. Pulpy publications that gave us Darna, Facifica Falayfay, Lagalag, Kulafu, Kenkoy, Dyesebel, characters of a time both innocent and worldly.
14. *Folk songs.* They come unbidden and spring, full blown, like a second language, at the slightest nudge from the too-loud stereo of a passing jeepney or tricycle.
15. *Fiesta.* Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow is just another day, shrugs the poor man who, once a year, honors a patron saint with this sumptuous, no-holds-barred spread. It's a Pinoy celebration at its pious and riotous best.
16. *Aswang, manananggal, kapre. *The whole underworld of Filipino lower mythology recalls our uniquely bizarre childhood, that is, before political correctness kicked in. Still, their rich adventures pepper our storytelling.
17. *Jeepneys.* Colorful, fast, reckless, a vehicle of postwar Pinoy ingenuity, this Everyman's communal cadillac makes for a cheap, interesting ride. If the driver's a daredevil (as they usually are), hang on to your seat.
18. *Dinuguan.* Blood stew, a bloodcurdling idea, until you try it with puto. Best when mined with jalapeno peppers. Messy but delicious.
19. *Santacruzan. * More than just a beauty contest, this one has religious overtones, a tableau of St. Helena's and Constantine ' s search for the Cross that seamlessly blends piety, pageantry and ritual. Plus, it's the perfect excuse to show off the prettiest ladies--and the most beautiful gowns.
20. *Balut.* Unhatched duck's embryo, another unspeakable ethnic food to outsiders, but oh, to indulge in guilty pleasures! Sprinkle some salt and suck out that soup, with gusto.
21. *Pakidala.* A personalized door-to-door remittance and delivery system for overseas Filipino workers who don't trust the banking system, and who expect a family update from the courier, as well.
22. *Choc-nut.* Crumbly peanut chocolate bars that defined childhood ecstasy before M & M's and Hershey's.
23. *Kamayan style.* To eat with one's hand and eschew spoon, fork and table manners--ah, heaven.
24. *Chicharon. *Pork, fish or chicken crackling. There is in the crunch a hint of the extravagant, the decadent and the pedestrian. Perfect with vinegar, sublime with beer.
25. *Pinoy hospitality. * Just about everyone gets a hearty "Kain tayo!" invitation to break bread with whoever has food to share, no matter how skimpy or austere it is.
26. *Adobo, kare-kare, sinigang and other lutong bahay stuff.*Home- cooked meals that have the stamp of approval from several generations, who swear by closely-guarded cooking secrets and family recipes.
27. *Lola Basyang.* The voice one heard spinning tales over the radio, before movies and television curtailed imagination and defined grown-up tastes.
28. *Pambahay.* Home is where one can let it all hang out, where clothes do not make a man or woman but rather define their level of comfort.
29. *Tricycle and trisikad,* the poor Pinoy's taxicab that delivers you at your doorstep for as little as PHPesos3.00, with a complimentary dusting of polluted air.
30. *Dirty ice cream.* Very Pinoy flavors that make up for the risk: munggo, langka, ube, mais, keso, macapuno. Plus there's the colorful cart that recalls jeepney art.
31. *Yayas.* The trusted Filipino nanny who, ironically, has become a major Philippine export as overseas contract workers. A good one is almost like a surrogate parent--if you don't mind the accent and the predilection for afternoon soap and movie stars.
32. *Sarsi.* Pinoy rootbeer, the enduring taste of childhood. Our grandfathers had them with an egg beaten in.
33. *Pinoy fruits.* Atis, guyabano, chesa, mabolo, lanzones, durian, langka, makopa, dalanghita, siniguelas, suha, chico , papaya, singkamas--oh, the possibilities!
34. *Filipino celebrities. Movie stars, broadcasters, beauty queens, public officials, all-around controversial figures: *Aurora Pijuan, Cardinal Sin, Carlos P. Romulo, Charito Solis, Cory Aquino, Emilio Aguinaldo, the Eraserheads, Fidel V. Ramos, Francis Magalona, Gloria Diaz,
Manuel L. Quezon, Margie Moran, Melanie Marquez, Ninoy Aquino, Nora Aunor, Pitoy Moreno, Ramon Magsysay, Richard Gomez, San Lorenzo Ruiz, Sharon Cuneta, Gemma Cruz, Erap, Tiya Dely, Mel and Jay, Gary V.
35. *World class Pinoys* who put us on the global map: Lea Salonga, Paeng Nepomuceno, Eugene Torre, Luisito Espinosa, Lydia de Vega-Mercado, Jocelyn Enriquez, Elma Muros, Onyok Velasco, Efren "Bata" Reyes, Lilia Calderon-Clemente, Loida Nicolas-Lewis, Josie Natori, Manny Pacquiao
36. * Pinoy tastes.* A dietitian's nightmare: too sweet, too salty, too fatty, as in burong talangka, itlog na maalat, crab fat (aligue), bokayo, kutchinta, sapin-sapin, halo-halo, pastilyas, palitaw, pulburon, longganisa, tuyo, ensaymada, ube haleya, sweetened macapuno and garbanzos. Remember, we're the guys who put sugar (horrors) in our spaghetti sauce.
Yum!
37. *The sights.* Banaue Rice Terraces, Boracay, Bohol's Chocolate Hills, Corregidor Island, Fort Santiago, the Hundred Islands, the Las Pi?s Bamboo Organ, Rizal Park, Mt. Banahaw, Mayon Volcano, Taal Volcano. A land of contrasts and ever-changing landscapes.
38. *Gayuma, agimat and anting-anting. * Love potions and amulets. How the socially-disadvantaged Pinoy copes.
39. *Barangay Ginebra, Jaworski, PBA, MBA and basketball.* How the vertically-challenged Pinoy compensates, via a national sports obsession that reduces fans to tears and fistfights.
40. *People Power at EDSA.* When everyone became a hero and changed Philippine history overnight.
41. *San Miguel Beer and pulutan.* "Isa pa nga!" and the Philippines' most popular, world-renowned beer goes well with peanuts, corniks, tapa, chicharon, usa, barbecue, sisig, and all manner of spicy, crunchy and cholesterol- rich chasers.
42. *Resiliency. * We've survived 400 years of Spanish rule, the US bases, Marcos, the 1990 earthquake, lahar, lambada, Robin Padilla, and Tamagochi. We'll survive Erap and GMA.
43. *Yoyo.* Truly Filipino in origin, this hunting tool, weapon, toy and merchandising vehicle remains the best way to "walk the dog" and "rock the baby," using just a piece of string.
44. *Pinoy games:* Pabitin, palosebo, basagan ng palayok. A few basic rules make individual cunning and persistence a premium, and guarantee a good time for all.
45. *Ninoy Aquino.* For saying that "the Filipino is worth dying for,'' and proving it.
46. *Balagtasan. *The verbal joust that brings out rhyme, reason and passion on a public stage.
47. *Tabo. *All-powerful, ever-useful, hygienically- triumphant device to scoop water out of a bucket _ and help the true Pinoy answer nature's call. Helps maintain our famously stringent toilet habits.
48. *Pandesal.* Despite its shrinking size, still a good buy. Goes well with any filling, best when hot.
49. *Jollibee. *Truly Pinoy in taste and sensibility, and a corporate icon that we can be quite proud of. Do you know that it's invaded the Middle East , as well?
50. *The butanding, the dolphins and other creatures in our blessed waters.* They're Pinoys, too, and they're here to stay. Now if some folks would just stop turning them into daing.
51. *Pakikisama. * It's what makes people stay longer at parties, have another drink, join pals in sickness and health. You can get dead drunk and still make it home.
52. *Sing-a-long. * Filipinos love to sing, and thank God, a lot of us do it well!
53. *Kayumanggi. * Neither pale nor dark, our skin tone is beautifully healthy, the color of a rich earth or a mahogany tree growing towards the sun.
54. *Handwoven cloth and native weaves.* Colorful, environment- friendly alternatives to polyester that feature skillful workmanship and a rich indigenous culture behind every thread. From the pinukpok of the north to the malong of the south, it's the fiber of who we are.
55. *Movies.* Still the cheapest form of entertainment, especially if you watch the same movie several times.
56. *Bahala na.* We cope with uncertainty by embracing it, and are thus enabled to play life by ear.
57. *Papaitan.* An offal stew flavored with bile, admittedly an acquired taste, but pointing to our national ability to acquire a taste for almost anything.
58. *English.* Whether carabao or Arr-neoww-accented, it doubles our chances in the global marketplace.
59. *The Press.* Irresponsible, sensational, often inaccurate, but still the liveliest in Asia . Otherwise, we'd all be glued to TV.
60. *Divisoria* . Smelly, crowded, a pickpocket's paradise, but you can get anything here, often at rock-bottom prices. The sensory overload is a bonus.
61. * Barong Tagalog.* Enables men to look formal and dignified without having to strangle themselves with a necktie. Worn well, it makes any ordinary Juan look marvelously makisig.
62. *Filipinas.* They make the best friends, lovers, wives. Too bad they can't say the same for Filipinos.
63. *Filipinos.* So maybe they're bolero and macho with an occasional streak of generic infidelity; they do know how to make a woman feel like one.
64. *Catholicism. * What fun would sin be without guilt? Jesus Christ is firmly planted on Philippine soil.
65. *Dolphy.* Our favorite, ultra-durable comedian gives the beleaguered Pinoy everyman an odd dignity, even in drag.
66. *Style.* Something we often prefer over substance. But every Filipino claims it as a birthright.
67. *Bad taste.* Clear plastic covers on the vinyl-upholstered sofa, posters of poker-playing dogs masquerading as art, over-accessorized jeepneys and altars--the list is endless, and wealth only seems to magnify it.
68. * Mangoes.* Crisp and tart, or lusciously ripe, they evoke memories of family outings and endless sunshine in a heart-shaped package.Mangoes. Crisp and tart, or lusciously ripe, they evoke memories of family outings and endless sunshine in a heart-shaped package.
69. *Unbridled optimism. *Why we rank so low on the suicide scale.
70. * Street food:* Barbecue, lugaw, banana-cue, fishballs, IUD (chicken entrails), adidas (chicken feet), warm taho. Forget hepatitis; here's cheap, tasty food with gritty ambience.
71. *The siesta.* Snoozing in the middle of the day is smart, not lazy.
72. * Honorifics and courteous titles:* Kuya, ate, diko, ditse, ineng, totoy, Ingkong, Aling, Mang, etc. No exact English translation, but these words connote respect, deference and the value placed on kinship.
73. *Heroes and people who stood up for truth and freedom.* Lapu-lapu started it all, and other heroes and revolutionaries followed: Diego Silang, Macario Sakay, Jose Rizal, Andres Bonifacio, Apolinario Mabini, Melchora Aquino, Gregorio del Pilar, Gabriela Silang, Miguel Malvar, Francisco Balagtas, Juan Luna, Marcelo H. del Pilar, Panday Pira, Emilio
Jacinto, Raha Suliman, Antonio Luna, Gomburza, Emilio Aguinaldo, the heroes of Bataan and Corregidor, Pepe Diokno, Satur Ocampo, Dean Armando Malay, Evelio Javier, Ninoy Aquino, Lola Rosa and other comfort women who spoke up, honest cabbie Emilio Advincula, Rona Mahilum, the women lawyers who didn't let Jalosjos get away with rape.
74. *Flora and fauna.* The sea cow (dugong), the tarsier, calamian deer, bearcat, Philippine eagle, sampaguita, ilang-ilang, camia, pandan, the creatures that make our archipelago unique.
75. *Pilipino songs, OPM and composers:* "Ama Namin," "Lupang Hinirang," "Gaano Ko Ikaw Kamahal," "Ngayon at Kailanman," "Anak," "Handog,""Hindi Kita Malilimutan, " "Ang Pasko ay Sumapit"; Ryan Cayabyab, George Canseco, Restie Umali, Levi Celerio, Manuel Francisco, Freddie Aguilar, and Florante--living examples of our musical gift.
76. *Metro Aides.* They started out as Imelda Marcos' groupies, but have gallantly proven their worth. Against all odds, they continuously prove that cleanliness is next to godliness--especial ly now that those darned candidates' posters have to be scraped off the face of Manila !
77. *Sari-sari store.* There's one in every corner, offering everything from bananas and floor wax to Band-Aid and bakya.
78. *Philippine National Red Cross. PAWS. Caritas. Fund drives.* They help us help each other.
79. *Favorite TV shows* through the years: "Tawag ng Tanghalan," "John and Marsha," "Champoy," "Ryan, Ryan Musikahan," "Kuwarta o Kahon," "Public Forum/Lives, " "Student Canteen," "Eat Bulaga." In the age of inane variety shows, they have redeemed Philippine television.
80. *Quirks of language* that can drive crazy any tourist listening in: "Bababa ba?" "Bababa!"
81. *"Sayang!" "Naman!" "Kadiri!" "Ano ba!?" "pala."* Expressions that defy translation but wring out feelings genuinely Pinoy.
82. *Cockfighting. * Filipino men love it more than their wives (sometimes).
83.* Dr. Jose Rizal.* A category in himself. Hero, medicine man, genius, athlete, sculptor, fictionist, poet, essayist, husband, lover, good samaritan, martyr. Truly someone to emulate and be proud of, anytime, anywhere.
84. *Nora Aunor.* Short, dark and homely-looking, she redefined our rigid concept of how leading ladies should look.
85. *Noranian or Vilmanian. *Defines the friendly rivalry between Ate Guy Aunor and Ate Vi Santos and for many years, the only way to be for many Filipino fans.
86. *Filipino Christmas. *The world's longest holiday season. A perfect excuse to mix our love for feasting, gift-giving and music and wrap it up with a touch of religion.
87. *Relatives and kababayan abroad. *The best refuge against loneliness, discrimination and confusion in a foreign place. Distant relatives and fellow Pinoys readily roll out the welcome mat even on the basis of a phone introduction or referral.
88. *Festivals:* Sinulog, Ati-atihan, Moriones. Sounds, colors, pagan frenzy and Christian overtones.
89. *Folk dances. *Tinikling, pandanggo sa ilaw, kari?sa, kuratsa, itik-itik, alitaptap, rigodon. All the right moves and a distinct rhythm.
90. *Native wear and costumes. *Baro't saya, tapis, terno, saya, salakot, bakya. Lovely form and ingenious function in the way we dress.
91. *Sunday family gatherings.* Or, close family ties that never get severed. You don't have to win the lotto or be a president to have 10,000 relatives. Everyone's family tree extends all over the archipelago, and it's at its best in times of crisis; notice how food, hostesses, money, and
moral support materialize during a wake?
92. *Calesa and karitela. *The colorful and leisurely way to negotiate narrow streets when loaded down with a year's provisions.
93. *Quality of life.* Where else can an ordinary employee afford a stay-in helper, a yaya, unlimited movies, eat-all-you- can buffets, the latest fashion (Baclaran nga lang), even Viagra in the black market?
94. *All Saints' Day.* In honoring our dead, we also prove that we know how to live.
95.* Handicrafts. *Shellcraft, rattancraft, abaca novelties, woodcarvings, banig placemats and bags, bamboo windchimes, etc. Portable memories of home. Hindi lang pang-turista, pang-balikbayan pa!
96. *Pinoy greens.* Sitaw. Okra. Ampalaya. Gabi. Munggo. Dahon ng Sili. Kangkong. Luya. Talong. Sigarillas. Bataw. Patani. Lutong bahay will never be the same without them.
97. *OCWs.* The lengths (and miles) we'd go for a better life for our family, as proven by these modern-day heroes of the economy.
98. *The Filipino artist. *From Luna's magnificent "Spoliarium" and Amorsolo's sun-kissed ricefields, to Ang Kiukok's jarring abstractions and Borlongan's haunting ghosts, and everybody else in between. Hang a Filipino painting on your wall, and you're hanging one of Asia 's best.
99. *Tagalog soap operas.* From "Gulong ng Palad" and "Flor de Luna" to today's incarnations like "Mula sa Puso"--they' re the story of our lives, and we feel strongly for them, MariMar notwithstanding.
100. *Midnight madness, weekends sales, bangketas and baratillos.*
*FROM the 1896 Revolution to the first Philippine Republic, the Commonwealth period, the EDSA Revolt, and the tiger cub economy, history marches on. Thankfully, however, some things never change. Like the classics, things irresistibly Pinoy mark us for life. They're the indelible stamp of our identity, the undeniable affinity that binds us like twins. They celebrate the good in us, the best of our culture and the infinite possibilities we are all capable of. Some are so self-explanatory you only need mention them for fellow Pinoys to swoon or drool. Here, from all over this Centennial-crazed country and in no particular order, are a hundred of the best things that make us unmistakably Pinoy. *
1. *Merienda.* Where else is it normal to eat five times a day?
2. *Sawsawan.* Assorted sauces that guarantee freedom of choice, enough room for experimentation and maximum tolerance for diverse tastes. Favorites: toyo't calamansi, suka at sili, patis.
3. *Kuwan, ano.* At a loss for words? Try these and marvel at how Pinoys understand exactly what you want.
4. *Pinoy humor and irreverence. * If you're api and you know it, crack a joke. Nothing personal, really.
5. *Tingi.* Thank goodness for small entrepreneurs. Where else can we buy cigarettes, soap, condiments and life's essentials in small affordable amounts?
6. *Spirituality. * Even before the Spaniards came, ethnic tribes had their own anitos, bathalas and assorted deities, pointing to a strong relationship with the Creator, who or whatever it may be.
7. *Po , opo, mano po.* Speech suffixes that define courtesy, deference, filial respect--a balm to the spirit in these aggressive times.
8. *Pasalubong. * Our way of sharing the vicarious thrills and delights of a trip, and a wonderful excuse to shop without the customary guilt.
9. *Beaches!* With 7,000 plus islands, we have miles and miles of shoreline piled high with fine white sand, lapped by warm waters, and nibbled by exotic tropical fish. From the stormy seas of Batanes to the emerald isles of Palawan --over here, life is truly a beach.
10. *Bagoong. *Darkly mysterious, this smelly fish or shrimp paste typifies the underlying theme of most ethnic foods: disgustingly unhygienic, unbearably stinky and simply irresistible.
11. *Bayanihan.* Yes, the internationally- renowned dance company, but also this habit of pitching in still common in small communities. Just have that cold beer and some pulutan ready for the troops.
12. *The Balikbayan box.* Another way of sharing life's bounty, no matter if it seems like we're fleeing Pol Pot every time we head home from anywhere in the globe. The most wonderful part is that, more often than not, the contents are carted home to be distributed.
13. *Pilipino komiks.* Not to mention "Hiwaga," "Aliwan," "Tagalog Classics," "Liwayway" and"Bulaklak" magazines. Pulpy publications that gave us Darna, Facifica Falayfay, Lagalag, Kulafu, Kenkoy, Dyesebel, characters of a time both innocent and worldly.
14. *Folk songs.* They come unbidden and spring, full blown, like a second language, at the slightest nudge from the too-loud stereo of a passing jeepney or tricycle.
15. *Fiesta.* Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow is just another day, shrugs the poor man who, once a year, honors a patron saint with this sumptuous, no-holds-barred spread. It's a Pinoy celebration at its pious and riotous best.
16. *Aswang, manananggal, kapre. *The whole underworld of Filipino lower mythology recalls our uniquely bizarre childhood, that is, before political correctness kicked in. Still, their rich adventures pepper our storytelling.
17. *Jeepneys.* Colorful, fast, reckless, a vehicle of postwar Pinoy ingenuity, this Everyman's communal cadillac makes for a cheap, interesting ride. If the driver's a daredevil (as they usually are), hang on to your seat.
18. *Dinuguan.* Blood stew, a bloodcurdling idea, until you try it with puto. Best when mined with jalapeno peppers. Messy but delicious.
19. *Santacruzan. * More than just a beauty contest, this one has religious overtones, a tableau of St. Helena's and Constantine ' s search for the Cross that seamlessly blends piety, pageantry and ritual. Plus, it's the perfect excuse to show off the prettiest ladies--and the most beautiful gowns.
20. *Balut.* Unhatched duck's embryo, another unspeakable ethnic food to outsiders, but oh, to indulge in guilty pleasures! Sprinkle some salt and suck out that soup, with gusto.
21. *Pakidala.* A personalized door-to-door remittance and delivery system for overseas Filipino workers who don't trust the banking system, and who expect a family update from the courier, as well.
22. *Choc-nut.* Crumbly peanut chocolate bars that defined childhood ecstasy before M & M's and Hershey's.
23. *Kamayan style.* To eat with one's hand and eschew spoon, fork and table manners--ah, heaven.
24. *Chicharon. *Pork, fish or chicken crackling. There is in the crunch a hint of the extravagant, the decadent and the pedestrian. Perfect with vinegar, sublime with beer.
25. *Pinoy hospitality. * Just about everyone gets a hearty "Kain tayo!" invitation to break bread with whoever has food to share, no matter how skimpy or austere it is.
26. *Adobo, kare-kare, sinigang and other lutong bahay stuff.*Home- cooked meals that have the stamp of approval from several generations, who swear by closely-guarded cooking secrets and family recipes.
27. *Lola Basyang.* The voice one heard spinning tales over the radio, before movies and television curtailed imagination and defined grown-up tastes.
28. *Pambahay.* Home is where one can let it all hang out, where clothes do not make a man or woman but rather define their level of comfort.
29. *Tricycle and trisikad,* the poor Pinoy's taxicab that delivers you at your doorstep for as little as PHPesos3.00, with a complimentary dusting of polluted air.
30. *Dirty ice cream.* Very Pinoy flavors that make up for the risk: munggo, langka, ube, mais, keso, macapuno. Plus there's the colorful cart that recalls jeepney art.
31. *Yayas.* The trusted Filipino nanny who, ironically, has become a major Philippine export as overseas contract workers. A good one is almost like a surrogate parent--if you don't mind the accent and the predilection for afternoon soap and movie stars.
32. *Sarsi.* Pinoy rootbeer, the enduring taste of childhood. Our grandfathers had them with an egg beaten in.
33. *Pinoy fruits.* Atis, guyabano, chesa, mabolo, lanzones, durian, langka, makopa, dalanghita, siniguelas, suha, chico , papaya, singkamas--oh, the possibilities!
34. *Filipino celebrities. Movie stars, broadcasters, beauty queens, public officials, all-around controversial figures: *Aurora Pijuan, Cardinal Sin, Carlos P. Romulo, Charito Solis, Cory Aquino, Emilio Aguinaldo, the Eraserheads, Fidel V. Ramos, Francis Magalona, Gloria Diaz,
Manuel L. Quezon, Margie Moran, Melanie Marquez, Ninoy Aquino, Nora Aunor, Pitoy Moreno, Ramon Magsysay, Richard Gomez, San Lorenzo Ruiz, Sharon Cuneta, Gemma Cruz, Erap, Tiya Dely, Mel and Jay, Gary V.
35. *World class Pinoys* who put us on the global map: Lea Salonga, Paeng Nepomuceno, Eugene Torre, Luisito Espinosa, Lydia de Vega-Mercado, Jocelyn Enriquez, Elma Muros, Onyok Velasco, Efren "Bata" Reyes, Lilia Calderon-Clemente, Loida Nicolas-Lewis, Josie Natori, Manny Pacquiao
36. * Pinoy tastes.* A dietitian's nightmare: too sweet, too salty, too fatty, as in burong talangka, itlog na maalat, crab fat (aligue), bokayo, kutchinta, sapin-sapin, halo-halo, pastilyas, palitaw, pulburon, longganisa, tuyo, ensaymada, ube haleya, sweetened macapuno and garbanzos. Remember, we're the guys who put sugar (horrors) in our spaghetti sauce.
Yum!
37. *The sights.* Banaue Rice Terraces, Boracay, Bohol's Chocolate Hills, Corregidor Island, Fort Santiago, the Hundred Islands, the Las Pi?s Bamboo Organ, Rizal Park, Mt. Banahaw, Mayon Volcano, Taal Volcano. A land of contrasts and ever-changing landscapes.
38. *Gayuma, agimat and anting-anting. * Love potions and amulets. How the socially-disadvantaged Pinoy copes.
39. *Barangay Ginebra, Jaworski, PBA, MBA and basketball.* How the vertically-challenged Pinoy compensates, via a national sports obsession that reduces fans to tears and fistfights.
40. *People Power at EDSA.* When everyone became a hero and changed Philippine history overnight.
41. *San Miguel Beer and pulutan.* "Isa pa nga!" and the Philippines' most popular, world-renowned beer goes well with peanuts, corniks, tapa, chicharon, usa, barbecue, sisig, and all manner of spicy, crunchy and cholesterol- rich chasers.
42. *Resiliency. * We've survived 400 years of Spanish rule, the US bases, Marcos, the 1990 earthquake, lahar, lambada, Robin Padilla, and Tamagochi. We'll survive Erap and GMA.
43. *Yoyo.* Truly Filipino in origin, this hunting tool, weapon, toy and merchandising vehicle remains the best way to "walk the dog" and "rock the baby," using just a piece of string.
44. *Pinoy games:* Pabitin, palosebo, basagan ng palayok. A few basic rules make individual cunning and persistence a premium, and guarantee a good time for all.
45. *Ninoy Aquino.* For saying that "the Filipino is worth dying for,'' and proving it.
46. *Balagtasan. *The verbal joust that brings out rhyme, reason and passion on a public stage.
47. *Tabo. *All-powerful, ever-useful, hygienically- triumphant device to scoop water out of a bucket _ and help the true Pinoy answer nature's call. Helps maintain our famously stringent toilet habits.
48. *Pandesal.* Despite its shrinking size, still a good buy. Goes well with any filling, best when hot.
49. *Jollibee. *Truly Pinoy in taste and sensibility, and a corporate icon that we can be quite proud of. Do you know that it's invaded the Middle East , as well?
50. *The butanding, the dolphins and other creatures in our blessed waters.* They're Pinoys, too, and they're here to stay. Now if some folks would just stop turning them into daing.
51. *Pakikisama. * It's what makes people stay longer at parties, have another drink, join pals in sickness and health. You can get dead drunk and still make it home.
52. *Sing-a-long. * Filipinos love to sing, and thank God, a lot of us do it well!
53. *Kayumanggi. * Neither pale nor dark, our skin tone is beautifully healthy, the color of a rich earth or a mahogany tree growing towards the sun.
54. *Handwoven cloth and native weaves.* Colorful, environment- friendly alternatives to polyester that feature skillful workmanship and a rich indigenous culture behind every thread. From the pinukpok of the north to the malong of the south, it's the fiber of who we are.
55. *Movies.* Still the cheapest form of entertainment, especially if you watch the same movie several times.
56. *Bahala na.* We cope with uncertainty by embracing it, and are thus enabled to play life by ear.
57. *Papaitan.* An offal stew flavored with bile, admittedly an acquired taste, but pointing to our national ability to acquire a taste for almost anything.
58. *English.* Whether carabao or Arr-neoww-accented, it doubles our chances in the global marketplace.
59. *The Press.* Irresponsible, sensational, often inaccurate, but still the liveliest in Asia . Otherwise, we'd all be glued to TV.
60. *Divisoria* . Smelly, crowded, a pickpocket's paradise, but you can get anything here, often at rock-bottom prices. The sensory overload is a bonus.
61. * Barong Tagalog.* Enables men to look formal and dignified without having to strangle themselves with a necktie. Worn well, it makes any ordinary Juan look marvelously makisig.
62. *Filipinas.* They make the best friends, lovers, wives. Too bad they can't say the same for Filipinos.
63. *Filipinos.* So maybe they're bolero and macho with an occasional streak of generic infidelity; they do know how to make a woman feel like one.
64. *Catholicism. * What fun would sin be without guilt? Jesus Christ is firmly planted on Philippine soil.
65. *Dolphy.* Our favorite, ultra-durable comedian gives the beleaguered Pinoy everyman an odd dignity, even in drag.
66. *Style.* Something we often prefer over substance. But every Filipino claims it as a birthright.
67. *Bad taste.* Clear plastic covers on the vinyl-upholstered sofa, posters of poker-playing dogs masquerading as art, over-accessorized jeepneys and altars--the list is endless, and wealth only seems to magnify it.
68. * Mangoes.* Crisp and tart, or lusciously ripe, they evoke memories of family outings and endless sunshine in a heart-shaped package.Mangoes. Crisp and tart, or lusciously ripe, they evoke memories of family outings and endless sunshine in a heart-shaped package.
69. *Unbridled optimism. *Why we rank so low on the suicide scale.
70. * Street food:* Barbecue, lugaw, banana-cue, fishballs, IUD (chicken entrails), adidas (chicken feet), warm taho. Forget hepatitis; here's cheap, tasty food with gritty ambience.
71. *The siesta.* Snoozing in the middle of the day is smart, not lazy.
72. * Honorifics and courteous titles:* Kuya, ate, diko, ditse, ineng, totoy, Ingkong, Aling, Mang, etc. No exact English translation, but these words connote respect, deference and the value placed on kinship.
73. *Heroes and people who stood up for truth and freedom.* Lapu-lapu started it all, and other heroes and revolutionaries followed: Diego Silang, Macario Sakay, Jose Rizal, Andres Bonifacio, Apolinario Mabini, Melchora Aquino, Gregorio del Pilar, Gabriela Silang, Miguel Malvar, Francisco Balagtas, Juan Luna, Marcelo H. del Pilar, Panday Pira, Emilio
Jacinto, Raha Suliman, Antonio Luna, Gomburza, Emilio Aguinaldo, the heroes of Bataan and Corregidor, Pepe Diokno, Satur Ocampo, Dean Armando Malay, Evelio Javier, Ninoy Aquino, Lola Rosa and other comfort women who spoke up, honest cabbie Emilio Advincula, Rona Mahilum, the women lawyers who didn't let Jalosjos get away with rape.
74. *Flora and fauna.* The sea cow (dugong), the tarsier, calamian deer, bearcat, Philippine eagle, sampaguita, ilang-ilang, camia, pandan, the creatures that make our archipelago unique.
75. *Pilipino songs, OPM and composers:* "Ama Namin," "Lupang Hinirang," "Gaano Ko Ikaw Kamahal," "Ngayon at Kailanman," "Anak," "Handog,""Hindi Kita Malilimutan, " "Ang Pasko ay Sumapit"; Ryan Cayabyab, George Canseco, Restie Umali, Levi Celerio, Manuel Francisco, Freddie Aguilar, and Florante--living examples of our musical gift.
76. *Metro Aides.* They started out as Imelda Marcos' groupies, but have gallantly proven their worth. Against all odds, they continuously prove that cleanliness is next to godliness--especial ly now that those darned candidates' posters have to be scraped off the face of Manila !
77. *Sari-sari store.* There's one in every corner, offering everything from bananas and floor wax to Band-Aid and bakya.
78. *Philippine National Red Cross. PAWS. Caritas. Fund drives.* They help us help each other.
79. *Favorite TV shows* through the years: "Tawag ng Tanghalan," "John and Marsha," "Champoy," "Ryan, Ryan Musikahan," "Kuwarta o Kahon," "Public Forum/Lives, " "Student Canteen," "Eat Bulaga." In the age of inane variety shows, they have redeemed Philippine television.
80. *Quirks of language* that can drive crazy any tourist listening in: "Bababa ba?" "Bababa!"
81. *"Sayang!" "Naman!" "Kadiri!" "Ano ba!?" "pala."* Expressions that defy translation but wring out feelings genuinely Pinoy.
82. *Cockfighting. * Filipino men love it more than their wives (sometimes).
83.* Dr. Jose Rizal.* A category in himself. Hero, medicine man, genius, athlete, sculptor, fictionist, poet, essayist, husband, lover, good samaritan, martyr. Truly someone to emulate and be proud of, anytime, anywhere.
84. *Nora Aunor.* Short, dark and homely-looking, she redefined our rigid concept of how leading ladies should look.
85. *Noranian or Vilmanian. *Defines the friendly rivalry between Ate Guy Aunor and Ate Vi Santos and for many years, the only way to be for many Filipino fans.
86. *Filipino Christmas. *The world's longest holiday season. A perfect excuse to mix our love for feasting, gift-giving and music and wrap it up with a touch of religion.
87. *Relatives and kababayan abroad. *The best refuge against loneliness, discrimination and confusion in a foreign place. Distant relatives and fellow Pinoys readily roll out the welcome mat even on the basis of a phone introduction or referral.
88. *Festivals:* Sinulog, Ati-atihan, Moriones. Sounds, colors, pagan frenzy and Christian overtones.
89. *Folk dances. *Tinikling, pandanggo sa ilaw, kari?sa, kuratsa, itik-itik, alitaptap, rigodon. All the right moves and a distinct rhythm.
90. *Native wear and costumes. *Baro't saya, tapis, terno, saya, salakot, bakya. Lovely form and ingenious function in the way we dress.
91. *Sunday family gatherings.* Or, close family ties that never get severed. You don't have to win the lotto or be a president to have 10,000 relatives. Everyone's family tree extends all over the archipelago, and it's at its best in times of crisis; notice how food, hostesses, money, and
moral support materialize during a wake?
92. *Calesa and karitela. *The colorful and leisurely way to negotiate narrow streets when loaded down with a year's provisions.
93. *Quality of life.* Where else can an ordinary employee afford a stay-in helper, a yaya, unlimited movies, eat-all-you- can buffets, the latest fashion (Baclaran nga lang), even Viagra in the black market?
94. *All Saints' Day.* In honoring our dead, we also prove that we know how to live.
95.* Handicrafts. *Shellcraft, rattancraft, abaca novelties, woodcarvings, banig placemats and bags, bamboo windchimes, etc. Portable memories of home. Hindi lang pang-turista, pang-balikbayan pa!
96. *Pinoy greens.* Sitaw. Okra. Ampalaya. Gabi. Munggo. Dahon ng Sili. Kangkong. Luya. Talong. Sigarillas. Bataw. Patani. Lutong bahay will never be the same without them.
97. *OCWs.* The lengths (and miles) we'd go for a better life for our family, as proven by these modern-day heroes of the economy.
98. *The Filipino artist. *From Luna's magnificent "Spoliarium" and Amorsolo's sun-kissed ricefields, to Ang Kiukok's jarring abstractions and Borlongan's haunting ghosts, and everybody else in between. Hang a Filipino painting on your wall, and you're hanging one of Asia 's best.
99. *Tagalog soap operas.* From "Gulong ng Palad" and "Flor de Luna" to today's incarnations like "Mula sa Puso"--they' re the story of our lives, and we feel strongly for them, MariMar notwithstanding.
100. *Midnight madness, weekends sales, bangketas and baratillos.*
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Something to Ponder...
"Promise yourself to be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind.
Look at the sunny side of everything and make your optimism come true.
Think only of the best, work only for the best,and expect only the best.
Forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future.
Give so much time to the improvement of yourself that you have no time to criticize others.
Live in the faith that the whole world is on your side so long as you are true to the best that is in you!"
- Christian D. Larson
Look at the sunny side of everything and make your optimism come true.
Think only of the best, work only for the best,and expect only the best.
Forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future.
Give so much time to the improvement of yourself that you have no time to criticize others.
Live in the faith that the whole world is on your side so long as you are true to the best that is in you!"
- Christian D. Larson
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Be Thankful
Saw this poem while browsing some blogs.
Im thankful for my family, friends and my work...in everything that i have now... and a lot more :-)
BE THANKFUL
Be thankful that you don't already have everything you desire.
If you did, what would there be to look forward to?
Be thankful when you don't know something,
for it gives you the opportunity to learn.
Be thankful for the difficult times.
During those times you grow.
Be thankful for your limitations,
because they give you opportunities for improvement.
Be thankful for each new challenge,
because it will build your strength and character.
Be thankful for your mistakes.
They will teach you valuable lessons.
Be thankful when you're tired and weary,
because it means you've made a difference.
It's easy to be thankful for the good things.
A life of rich fulfillment comes to those who
are also thankful for the setbacks.
Gratitude can turn a negative into a positive.
Find a way to be thankful for your troubles,
and they can become your blessings.
- Author Unknown
Im thankful for my family, friends and my work...in everything that i have now... and a lot more :-)
BE THANKFUL
Be thankful that you don't already have everything you desire.
If you did, what would there be to look forward to?
Be thankful when you don't know something,
for it gives you the opportunity to learn.
Be thankful for the difficult times.
During those times you grow.
Be thankful for your limitations,
because they give you opportunities for improvement.
Be thankful for each new challenge,
because it will build your strength and character.
Be thankful for your mistakes.
They will teach you valuable lessons.
Be thankful when you're tired and weary,
because it means you've made a difference.
It's easy to be thankful for the good things.
A life of rich fulfillment comes to those who
are also thankful for the setbacks.
Gratitude can turn a negative into a positive.
Find a way to be thankful for your troubles,
and they can become your blessings.
- Author Unknown
Friday, December 12, 2008
Marriage (Kid's Point of View)
I saw this in the net and it so funny. Marriage in the KId's Point of View.
How do you decide who to marry?
You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.
– Alan, age 10
No person really decides before they grow up who they’re going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you’re stuck with.
– Kristen, age 10
What is the right age to get married?
Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then.
– Camille, age 10
How can a stranger tell if two people are married?
You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.
– Derrick, age 8
What do you think your Mum and Dad have in common?
Both don’t want any more kids.
– Lori, age 8
What do most people do on a date?
Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.
– Lynnette, age 8
On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.
– Martin, age 10
What would you do on a first date that was turning sour?
I’d run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns.
– Craig, age 9
When is it okay to kiss someone?
When they’re rich.
– Pam, age 7
The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn’t want to mess with that.
- - Curt, age 7
The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It’s the right thing to do.
– Howard, age 8
Is it better to be single or married?
It’s better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them. — Anita, age 9
How would the world be different if people didn’t marry?
There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn’t there?
– Kelvin, age 8
How would you make a marriage work?
Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a truck.
– Ricky, age 10
How do you decide who to marry?
You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.
– Alan, age 10
No person really decides before they grow up who they’re going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you’re stuck with.
– Kristen, age 10
What is the right age to get married?
Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then.
– Camille, age 10
How can a stranger tell if two people are married?
You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.
– Derrick, age 8
What do you think your Mum and Dad have in common?
Both don’t want any more kids.
– Lori, age 8
What do most people do on a date?
Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.
– Lynnette, age 8
On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.
– Martin, age 10
What would you do on a first date that was turning sour?
I’d run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns.
– Craig, age 9
When is it okay to kiss someone?
When they’re rich.
– Pam, age 7
The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn’t want to mess with that.
- - Curt, age 7
The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It’s the right thing to do.
– Howard, age 8
Is it better to be single or married?
It’s better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them. — Anita, age 9
How would the world be different if people didn’t marry?
There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn’t there?
– Kelvin, age 8
How would you make a marriage work?
Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a truck.
– Ricky, age 10
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
What Happened The You were Born
In 1980 (the year you were born) |
 Jimmy Carter is president of the US President Carter announces punitive measures and embargoes against the USSR in retaliation for the Soviet invasion of Afghanistan Mount St. Helens in Washington state erupts in a violent blast estimated to be 500 times as powerful as the Hiroshima atomic bomb Ronald Reagan is elected the 40th US president in a sweeping victory US Representative Michael O. Myers is expelled from the House for his role in the Abscam scandal Hewlett-Packard announces release of its first personal computer Microsoft announces their version of UNIX, Xenix Christina Ricci, Chelsea Clinton, Venus Williams, Jessica Simpson, Macaulay Culkin, and Jake Gyllenhaal are born Philadelphia Phllies win the World Series Pittsburgh Steelers win Superbowl XIV New York Islanders win the Stanley Cup The Empire Strikes Back is the top grossing film "Lady" by Kenny Rogers spends the most time at the top of the US charts U.S. viewers get caught up in the "Who Shot J.R.?" cliff hanger on the soap opera series, Dallas, which is solved on a November 21 episode, drawing a record numbers of viewers |
Saturday, November 15, 2008
Something to Ponder
Marriage 101 by: Gerald Foley
Silence is a relationship killer...you need to FIGHT
Studies show that couples who fight have a stronger relationship and marriage. An old axiom says, "The dirtiest fighter is the one who refuses to fight at all." Someone who doesn't want to rock the boat, and skirts the issues to avoid conflict, ultimately damages the relationship. Fighting can actually get us through a conflict to a level of greater intimacy. So, Fight for your relationship...it's the best thing you can do.
Fight Fairly
Remember that you are trying to grow together. Often we learned unhealthy or unfair ways of fighting from parents or from our culture. These make winning at any cost the most important goal. If one spouse wins...both lose.
No Name Calling
Calling a spouse a name such as "stupid" simply backs that person away from a fight. Do not call each other names except the affectionate ones you normally use, such as "Honey" or "Dear."
Calling a spouse a name such as "stupid" simply backs that person away from a fight. Do not call each other names except the affectionate ones you normally use, such as "Honey" or "Dear."
Do Not Involve Other People
The argument is between the two of you. Young couples make the mistake of involving friends or parents (usually mothers). The damage comes later in several forms; 1) A parent will more than likely remember the issue long after a couple has forgotten. 2) The respect and perception once held by a parent for a childs spouse will decline. 3) A couple may feel uncomfortable facing the parent even after an incident has been resolved. 4) A parents natural reaction is to protect a child and this reaction may cause further damage to the relationship.
No Past History
If it's already been settled, don't bring it up again. It is irrelevant and merely a way to smear your partner. It is OK to go back to learn, but not to get something on your spouse.
Stick to the Subject
Stay focused. Find the issue and don't bring in other issues just to prove your point. When he comes home later and she feels taken for granted or unloved, deal with feelings to make the real issue apparent.
Don't Hit Below the Belt
Don't throw your partners weaknesses in his or her face. You may win the argument but lose more than you gain. On the other hand, don't be too sensitive to what your spouse says.
Don't Go to Bed Angry
Finish the Fight. Dragging a fight out is as life-draining as avoiding a fight. Unresolved anger can destroy intimacy.
Maintain a Sense of Humor
Laughter is sometimes the best medicine. It's good to be able to laugh at yourselves, but don't laugh at or make fun of your spouse.
Hold Hands and/or Look in Each Others Eyes
Being in contact with each other, rather than turning your backs, is the hardest rule. However, it takes the focus from the issue and places it where it belongs, namely on the most important person in your life.
Don't lose that 90% that you already have ..
by: Bo Sanchez
Adultery happens when you start looking for what you don't have. "Wow,this girl in my office is a real looker. I'm crazy about her because she's also understanding, intelligent, tender - so many things that my spouse is not."
Somewhere along the way, you'll find a woman or a man who will be more charming or sensitive. More alluring. More thoughtful. Richer. Have greater sex appeal. And you will find a woman or man who will need you and pursue you and go loco over you more than your spouse ever did. Because no wife or husband is perfect.
Because a spouse will only have 90% of what you're looking for. So adultery takes place when a husband or wife looks for the missing 10%. Let's say your wife is melancholic by nature. You may find yourself drawn to the pretty clerk who has a cherry laughter. Or because your wife is a homebody in slippers and pyjamas, smelling of garlic and fish oil,you may fall for a fresh-smelling young sales representative that visits your office in a sharp black blazer, high heels, and a red pencil-cut skirt. Or because your husband is the quiet type, your heart may skip a beat when you meet an old college flame who has the makings of a talk show host.
But wait! That's only 10% of what you don't have. Don't throw away the 90% that you already have! Add to your spouse's 90% the 100% that represents all the years that you have been with each other. The storms you have weathered together. The unforgettable moments of sadness and joy as a couple. The many adjustments you have made to love the other. The wealth of memories that you've accumulated as lovers.
Adultery happens when you start looking for what you don't have. But faithfulness happens when you start thanking God for what you already have. But I'm not just talking about marriage.I'm talking about life! About your jobs. About your friends. About your children. About your lifestyles. Are you like the economy airline The main message: If you start appreciating what you have right now, wherever you are is FIRST CLASS!
by: Bo Sanchez
Adultery happens when you start looking for what you don't have. "Wow,this girl in my office is a real looker. I'm crazy about her because she's also understanding, intelligent, tender - so many things that my spouse is not."
Somewhere along the way, you'll find a woman or a man who will be more charming or sensitive. More alluring. More thoughtful. Richer. Have greater sex appeal. And you will find a woman or man who will need you and pursue you and go loco over you more than your spouse ever did. Because no wife or husband is perfect.
Because a spouse will only have 90% of what you're looking for. So adultery takes place when a husband or wife looks for the missing 10%. Let's say your wife is melancholic by nature. You may find yourself drawn to the pretty clerk who has a cherry laughter. Or because your wife is a homebody in slippers and pyjamas, smelling of garlic and fish oil,you may fall for a fresh-smelling young sales representative that visits your office in a sharp black blazer, high heels, and a red pencil-cut skirt. Or because your husband is the quiet type, your heart may skip a beat when you meet an old college flame who has the makings of a talk show host.
But wait! That's only 10% of what you don't have. Don't throw away the 90% that you already have! Add to your spouse's 90% the 100% that represents all the years that you have been with each other. The storms you have weathered together. The unforgettable moments of sadness and joy as a couple. The many adjustments you have made to love the other. The wealth of memories that you've accumulated as lovers.
Adultery happens when you start looking for what you don't have. But faithfulness happens when you start thanking God for what you already have. But I'm not just talking about marriage.I'm talking about life! About your jobs. About your friends. About your children. About your lifestyles. Are you like the economy airline
Saturday, October 11, 2008
Old Good Read
PARTNERS AND MARRIAGE
By Eduardo Jose E. Calasanz
I have never met a man who didn't want to be loved. But I have seldom met a man who didn't fear marriage. Something about the closure seems constricting, not enabling. Marriage seems easier to understand for what it cuts out of our lives than for what it makes possible within our lives.
When I was younger this fear immobilized me. I did not want to make a mistake. I saw my friends get married for reasons of social acceptability, or sexual fever, or just because they thought it was the logical thing to do. Then I watched, as they and their partners became embittered and petty in their dealings with each other. I looked at older couples and saw, at best, mutual toleration of each other. I imagined a lifetime of loveless nights and bickering and could not imagine subjecting myself or someone else to such a fate.
And yet, on rare o! ccasions, I would see old couples who somehow seemed to glow in each other's presence. They seemed really in love, not just dependent upon each other and tolerant of each other's foibles. It was an astounding sight, and it seemed impossible. How, I asked myself, can they have survived so many years of sameness, so much irritation at the other's habits? What keeps love alive in them, when most of us seem unable to even stay together, much less love each other?
The central secret seems to be in choosing well.
There is something to the claim of fundamental compatibility. Good people can create a bad relationship, even though they both dearly want the relationship to succeed. It is important to find someone with whom you can create a good relationship from the outset. Unfortunately, it is hard to see clearly in the early stages.
Sexual hunger draws you to each other and colors the way you see yourselves together. It blinds you to the thousands of little things by which relationships eventually survive or fail. You need to find a way to see beyond this initial overwhelming sexual fascination. Some people choose to involve themselves sexually and ride out the most heated period of sexual attraction in order to see what is on the other side.
This can work, but it can also leave a trail of wounded hearts. Others deny the sexual side altogether in an attempt to get to know each other apart from their sexuality. But they cannot see clearly, because the presence of unfulfilled sexual desire looms so large that it keeps them from having any normal perception of what life would be like together.The truly lucky people are the ones who manage to become long-time friends before they realize they are attracted to each other. They get to know each other's laughs, passions, sadness, and fears. They see each other at their worst and at their best. They share time together before they get swept into the entangling intimacy of their sexuality.
This is the ideal, but not often possible. If you fall under the spell of your sexual attraction immediately, you need to look beyond it for other keys to compatibility. One of these is laughter. Laughter tells you how much you will enjoy each other's company over the long term. If your laughter together is good and healthy, and not at the expense of others, then you have a healthy relationship to the world. Laughter is the child of surprise. If you can make each other laugh, you can always surprise each other. And if you can always surprise each other, you can always keep the world around you new. Beware of a relationship in which there is no laughter. Even the most intimate relationships based only on seriousness have a tendency to turn sour.
Over time, sharing a common serious viewpoint on the world tends to turn you against those who do not share the same viewpoint, and your relationship can become based on being critical together. After laughter, look for a partner who deals with the world in a way you respect. When two people first get together, they tend to see their relationship as existing only in the space between the two of them. They find each other endlessly fascinating, and the overwhelming power of the emotions they are sharing obscures the outside world. As the relationship ages and grows, the outside world becomes important again. If your partner treats people or circumstances in a way you can't accept, you will inevitably come to grief. Look at the way she cares for others and deals with the daily affairs of life. If that makes you love her more, your love will grow. If it does not, be careful. If you do not respect the way you each deal with the world around you, eventually the two of youwill not respect each other.
Look also at how your partner confronts the mysteries of life. We live on the cusp of poetry and practicality, and the real life of the heart resides in the poetic. If one of you is deeply affected by the mystery of the unseen in life and relationships, while the other is drawn only to the literal and the practical, you must take care that the distance doesn't become an unbridgeable gap that leaves you each feeling isolated and misunderstood.
There are many other keys, but you must find them by yourself. We all have unchangeable parts of our hearts that we will not betray and private commitments to a vision of life that we will not deny. If you fall in love with someone who cannot nourish those inviolable parts of you, or if you cannot nourish them in her, you will find yourselves growing further apart until you live in separate worlds where you share the business of life, but never touch each other where the heart lives and dreams. From there it is only a small leap to the cataloging of petty hurts and daily failures that leaves so many couples bitter and unsatisfied with their mates.
So choose carefully and well. If you do, you will have chosen a partner with whom you can grow, and then the real miracle of marriage can take place in your hearts. I pick my words carefully when I speak of a miracle. But I think it is not too strong a word. There is a miracle in marriage. It is called transformation.
Transformation is one of the most common events of nature. The seed becomes the flower. The cocoon becomes the butterfly. Winter becomes spring and love becomes a child. We never question these, because we see them around us every day. To us they are not miracles, though if we did not know them they would be impossible to believe.
Marriage is a transformation we choose to make. Our love is planted like a seed, and in time it begins to flower. We cannot know the flower that will blossom, but we can be sure that a bloom will come.If you have chosen carefully and wisely, the bloom will be good.
If you have chosen poorly or for the wrong reason, the bloom will be flawed. We are quite willing to accept the reality of negative transformation in a marriage. It was negative transformation that always had me terrified of the bitter marriages that I feared when I was younger. It never occurred to me to question the dark miracle that transformed love into harshness and bitterness. Yet I was unable to accept the possibility that the first heat of love could be transformed into something positive that was actually deeper and more meaningful than the heat of fresh passion. All I could believe in was the power of this passion and the fear that when it cooled I would be left with something lesser and bitter.
But there is positive transformation as well. Like negative transformation, it results from a slow accretion of little things. But instead of death by a thousand blows, it is growth by a thousand touches of love. Two histories intermingle. Two separate beings, two separate presence, two separate consciousnesses come together and share a view of life that passes before them. They remain separate, but they also become one. There is an expansion of awareness, not a closure and a constriction, as I had once feared. This is not to say that there is not tension and there are not traps. Tension and traps are part of every choice of life, from celibate to monogamous to having multiple lovers. Each choice contains within it the lingering doubt that the road not taken somehow more fruitful and exciting, and each becomes dulled to the richness that it alone contains.But only marriage allows life to deepen and expand and be leavened by the knowledge that two have chosen, against all odds, to become one. Those who live together without marriage can know the pleasure of shared company, but there is a specific gravity in the marriage commitment that deepens that experience into something richer and more complex.
javascript:void(0)
So do not fear marriage, just as you should not rush into it for the wrong reasons. It is an act of faith and it contains within it the power of transformation. If you believe in your heart that you have found someone with whom you are able to grow, if you have sufficient faith that you can resist the endless attraction of the road not taken and the partner not chosen, if you have the strength of heart to embrace the cycles and seasons that your love will experience, then you may be ready to seek the miracle that marriage offers. If not, then wait. The easy grace of a marriage well made is worth your patience. When the time comes, a thousand flowers will bloom...endlessly.
By Eduardo Jose E. Calasanz
I have never met a man who didn't want to be loved. But I have seldom met a man who didn't fear marriage. Something about the closure seems constricting, not enabling. Marriage seems easier to understand for what it cuts out of our lives than for what it makes possible within our lives.
When I was younger this fear immobilized me. I did not want to make a mistake. I saw my friends get married for reasons of social acceptability, or sexual fever, or just because they thought it was the logical thing to do. Then I watched, as they and their partners became embittered and petty in their dealings with each other. I looked at older couples and saw, at best, mutual toleration of each other. I imagined a lifetime of loveless nights and bickering and could not imagine subjecting myself or someone else to such a fate.
And yet, on rare o! ccasions, I would see old couples who somehow seemed to glow in each other's presence. They seemed really in love, not just dependent upon each other and tolerant of each other's foibles. It was an astounding sight, and it seemed impossible. How, I asked myself, can they have survived so many years of sameness, so much irritation at the other's habits? What keeps love alive in them, when most of us seem unable to even stay together, much less love each other?
The central secret seems to be in choosing well.
There is something to the claim of fundamental compatibility. Good people can create a bad relationship, even though they both dearly want the relationship to succeed. It is important to find someone with whom you can create a good relationship from the outset. Unfortunately, it is hard to see clearly in the early stages.
Sexual hunger draws you to each other and colors the way you see yourselves together. It blinds you to the thousands of little things by which relationships eventually survive or fail. You need to find a way to see beyond this initial overwhelming sexual fascination. Some people choose to involve themselves sexually and ride out the most heated period of sexual attraction in order to see what is on the other side.
This can work, but it can also leave a trail of wounded hearts. Others deny the sexual side altogether in an attempt to get to know each other apart from their sexuality. But they cannot see clearly, because the presence of unfulfilled sexual desire looms so large that it keeps them from having any normal perception of what life would be like together.The truly lucky people are the ones who manage to become long-time friends before they realize they are attracted to each other. They get to know each other's laughs, passions, sadness, and fears. They see each other at their worst and at their best. They share time together before they get swept into the entangling intimacy of their sexuality.
This is the ideal, but not often possible. If you fall under the spell of your sexual attraction immediately, you need to look beyond it for other keys to compatibility. One of these is laughter. Laughter tells you how much you will enjoy each other's company over the long term. If your laughter together is good and healthy, and not at the expense of others, then you have a healthy relationship to the world. Laughter is the child of surprise. If you can make each other laugh, you can always surprise each other. And if you can always surprise each other, you can always keep the world around you new. Beware of a relationship in which there is no laughter. Even the most intimate relationships based only on seriousness have a tendency to turn sour.
Over time, sharing a common serious viewpoint on the world tends to turn you against those who do not share the same viewpoint, and your relationship can become based on being critical together. After laughter, look for a partner who deals with the world in a way you respect. When two people first get together, they tend to see their relationship as existing only in the space between the two of them. They find each other endlessly fascinating, and the overwhelming power of the emotions they are sharing obscures the outside world. As the relationship ages and grows, the outside world becomes important again. If your partner treats people or circumstances in a way you can't accept, you will inevitably come to grief. Look at the way she cares for others and deals with the daily affairs of life. If that makes you love her more, your love will grow. If it does not, be careful. If you do not respect the way you each deal with the world around you, eventually the two of youwill not respect each other.
Look also at how your partner confronts the mysteries of life. We live on the cusp of poetry and practicality, and the real life of the heart resides in the poetic. If one of you is deeply affected by the mystery of the unseen in life and relationships, while the other is drawn only to the literal and the practical, you must take care that the distance doesn't become an unbridgeable gap that leaves you each feeling isolated and misunderstood.
There are many other keys, but you must find them by yourself. We all have unchangeable parts of our hearts that we will not betray and private commitments to a vision of life that we will not deny. If you fall in love with someone who cannot nourish those inviolable parts of you, or if you cannot nourish them in her, you will find yourselves growing further apart until you live in separate worlds where you share the business of life, but never touch each other where the heart lives and dreams. From there it is only a small leap to the cataloging of petty hurts and daily failures that leaves so many couples bitter and unsatisfied with their mates.
So choose carefully and well. If you do, you will have chosen a partner with whom you can grow, and then the real miracle of marriage can take place in your hearts. I pick my words carefully when I speak of a miracle. But I think it is not too strong a word. There is a miracle in marriage. It is called transformation.
Transformation is one of the most common events of nature. The seed becomes the flower. The cocoon becomes the butterfly. Winter becomes spring and love becomes a child. We never question these, because we see them around us every day. To us they are not miracles, though if we did not know them they would be impossible to believe.
Marriage is a transformation we choose to make. Our love is planted like a seed, and in time it begins to flower. We cannot know the flower that will blossom, but we can be sure that a bloom will come.If you have chosen carefully and wisely, the bloom will be good.
If you have chosen poorly or for the wrong reason, the bloom will be flawed. We are quite willing to accept the reality of negative transformation in a marriage. It was negative transformation that always had me terrified of the bitter marriages that I feared when I was younger. It never occurred to me to question the dark miracle that transformed love into harshness and bitterness. Yet I was unable to accept the possibility that the first heat of love could be transformed into something positive that was actually deeper and more meaningful than the heat of fresh passion. All I could believe in was the power of this passion and the fear that when it cooled I would be left with something lesser and bitter.
But there is positive transformation as well. Like negative transformation, it results from a slow accretion of little things. But instead of death by a thousand blows, it is growth by a thousand touches of love. Two histories intermingle. Two separate beings, two separate presence, two separate consciousnesses come together and share a view of life that passes before them. They remain separate, but they also become one. There is an expansion of awareness, not a closure and a constriction, as I had once feared. This is not to say that there is not tension and there are not traps. Tension and traps are part of every choice of life, from celibate to monogamous to having multiple lovers. Each choice contains within it the lingering doubt that the road not taken somehow more fruitful and exciting, and each becomes dulled to the richness that it alone contains.But only marriage allows life to deepen and expand and be leavened by the knowledge that two have chosen, against all odds, to become one. Those who live together without marriage can know the pleasure of shared company, but there is a specific gravity in the marriage commitment that deepens that experience into something richer and more complex.
javascript:void(0)
So do not fear marriage, just as you should not rush into it for the wrong reasons. It is an act of faith and it contains within it the power of transformation. If you believe in your heart that you have found someone with whom you are able to grow, if you have sufficient faith that you can resist the endless attraction of the road not taken and the partner not chosen, if you have the strength of heart to embrace the cycles and seasons that your love will experience, then you may be ready to seek the miracle that marriage offers. If not, then wait. The easy grace of a marriage well made is worth your patience. When the time comes, a thousand flowers will bloom...endlessly.
Article
This is not my original article. A friend emailed it to me but I don't have the original email anymore. I don't know who's the author nor where or when it was published. But this is one article that is usually shared during those pre-cana seminar or discovery seminar.
DID I MARRY THE RIGHT PERSON?
During one of the seminars, a woman asked a common question. She said, "How do I know if I married the right person?" I noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so I said, "It depends. Is that your husband?" In all seriousness, she answered "How do you know?" Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it's weighing on your mind.
Here's the answer...
EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love with your spouse. You anticipated his/her call, wanted his/her touch, and liked his/her idiosyncrasies. Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience.You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called "falling" in love... Because it's happening TO YOU. People in love sometimes say, "I was swept off my feet." Think about the imagery of that __expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something came along and happened TO YOU. Falling in love is easy. It'sa passive and spontaneous experience.
But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria of love fades. It's the natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts. The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you think about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.
At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, "Did I marry the right person?" And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when marriages breakdown. People blame their spouse for their unhappiness and look outside their marriage for fulfillment.
Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most obvious. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, a friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances. But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage. It lies within it. I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. You could. And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few years later.
Because (listen carefully to this):
THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON;IT'S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND.
SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It'll NEVER just happen to you. You can't "find" LASTING love. You have to make" it day in and day out. That's why we have the __expression "the labor of love." Because it takes time, effort, and energy, And most importantly, it takes WISDOM . You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage work.
Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed with your marriage. Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. Just as the right diet and exercise program makes you physically, stronger, certain habits in your relationship WILL make your marriage stronger. It's a direct cause and effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable. ...you can "make" love work.
Love in marriage is indeed a "decision".. . Not just a feeling
DID I MARRY THE RIGHT PERSON?
During one of the seminars, a woman asked a common question. She said, "How do I know if I married the right person?" I noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so I said, "It depends. Is that your husband?" In all seriousness, she answered "How do you know?" Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it's weighing on your mind.
Here's the answer...
EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love with your spouse. You anticipated his/her call, wanted his/her touch, and liked his/her idiosyncrasies. Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience.You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called "falling" in love... Because it's happening TO YOU. People in love sometimes say, "I was swept off my feet." Think about the imagery of that __expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something came along and happened TO YOU. Falling in love is easy. It'sa passive and spontaneous experience.
But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria of love fades. It's the natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts. The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you think about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.
At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, "Did I marry the right person?" And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when marriages breakdown. People blame their spouse for their unhappiness and look outside their marriage for fulfillment.
Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most obvious. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, a friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances. But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage. It lies within it. I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. You could. And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few years later.
Because (listen carefully to this):
THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON;IT'S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND.
SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It'll NEVER just happen to you. You can't "find" LASTING love. You have to make" it day in and day out. That's why we have the __expression "the labor of love." Because it takes time, effort, and energy, And most importantly, it takes WISDOM . You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage work.
Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed with your marriage. Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. Just as the right diet and exercise program makes you physically, stronger, certain habits in your relationship WILL make your marriage stronger. It's a direct cause and effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable. ...you can "make" love work.
Love in marriage is indeed a "decision".. . Not just a feeling
Thursday, October 9, 2008
What is a Sister?
A sister is someone more special than words. She's love mixed with friendship, the best things in life. She's so much inner beauty blended together with an outward appearance that brings a smile to the happiness in your heart. A sister is one of the most precious people in the story of your life. And you'll always be together, whether you're near or apart.
Together, you have shared some of the most special moments two people have ever shared. A sister is a perspective on the past, and she's a million favorite memories that will always last. A sister is a photograph that is one of your most treasured possessions. She's a note that arrives on a special day, and when there's news to share, she's the first one you want to call. A sister is a reminder of the blessings that come from closeness. Sharing secretes. Disclosing dreams. Learning about life together.
A sister is a confidante and a counselor. She's a dear and wonderful friend, and - in certain ways - something like a twin. She's a hand within your hand; she's so often the only one who really understands.
A sister is honest and trust enfolded with love. She's sometimes the only person who sees the horizon from your point of view, and she helps you to see things more clearly. She is helper and a guide, and she is a feeling, deep inside, that makes you wonder what you would ever do without her.
What is a sister? She's someone more special than words; someone beautiful and unique. And in so many ways, there is no one who is loved so dearly.
-Douglas Pagels
I miss you JC! Mwaaah!
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