Quarenta Quarentine Birthday in the time of Corona

Day 123: It's my 40th birthday!

Initially, I planned to have a party with my friends & family. As a matter of fact, I was putting an idea of a surprise party into my husband's brains. A big children's party theme, after all, I never had a children birthday party, except for that one birthday celebration I had when I was in Grade 3. My whole class was invited for my party after our class dismissal. I even remember mama coming to our school to invite the class. Papa won the jueteng a day before my birthday thus we were able to to had a party at home.

On my 18th birthday, my maternal grandmother cooked something special for lunch. No debut party but my 2 older sisters and I, went to Enchanted Kingdom to celebrate my birthday. We don't have a single picture on that day because the camera we used was defective hehehe!

Birthdays then were celebrated simple. A special meal at home or a treat to a nearby restaurant.

From 2008-2011, I was working here in Bangladesh already. I used to treat my staff on my birthday. The custom here is the celebrant should be given a treat and not the other way around. But I feel uncomfy if my staff will treat me on my birthday, I let them treat me on their birthdays instead.

My first birthday was in Boomer's. We had lunch there with my team and the Category Management team, and Communications Department heads.

One celebration that was different was in 2009 when we had at BBQ tonight. When my party started singing happy birthday to me, the other customers sang too with them impromptu. You know the restaurant scene in "My Best Friend's Wedding" where everyone started singing together? It feels like that. So happy and surprised, and I think my face turned lobster red again. I always had a double celebration, one with my colleagues, and 2nd with alvin and his parents because it is also his father's birthday.

Then after getting married, celebration became simplier. No party. No "special MY birthday", but special nevertheless, celebrating it with my husband and my two munchkins is more than enough.

 

So, I decided that on my 40th birthday, I want a party. Another plan was to celebrate it in Canada. I know it's just another birthday, just a number, but I think it should be celebrated extra special since it is another milestone. I completed 4 decades of colorful life, and about to start a new decade. Life begins at 40, so they say. And who would have thought, with a turn of events, the world in pandemic since January, that a new way of life will really begin at 40.

The life as we knew it was halted due to this COVID19. All plans were cancelled. This pandemic wreak havoc. We are all now living the "new normal" that doesn't feel normal at all. We are fighting with an invisible enemy. A deathly war, wherein staying at home and practicing social distancing can save us, coupled with constant washing of hands and wearing of mask. This is a history in the making. Being alive now and healthy is something to celebrate every single day.


Celebration is simple but full of blessings and contentment with my husband and wonderful daughters. 

Glimpse of my birthday 2020

my blessings 

videocall with HS friends

40 things I'm grateful for 

01. waking up alive and healthy
02. my two healthy and adorable daughters that adores me
02. my wonderful husband who loves me so much
03. my parents-in-law 
04. my strong capable body 
05. comfortable life 
06. spending time with my husband and kids
07. video calls with my parents & sisters & their family
08. surprise or random messages / calls from friends
09. my good circle of friends
10. netflix
11. when kids go to bed early and I have some time for myself
12. a good night sleep
13. a good skin care regimen
14. free food haha!
15. reading and finishing a good book
16. eating my favorite food in peace
17. taking a long shower in peace
18. a good cup of tea or coffee
19. a delicious cake
20. a delicious hearty bowl of ramen
21. our dependable Ruma apu
22. Everything that I have achieved
23. the opportunities I have to achieve what I want
24. watching sunrise or sunset
25. winter!
26. comfort food esp when Im craving for it
27. Access to clean water
28. our airconditioner
29. Access to the internet
30. my gadgets!
31. the kindness of a stranger
32. watching the night sky and full moon
33. seeing a rainbow
34. everything that my parents gave and have done for me
35. reminiscing over old photos and sharing childhood stories
36. the funny things my children say
37. a good cry to release emotion
38. my mind that continues to learn
39. videocall with my friends
40. Finding money at the bottom of my bag

There's actually more than 40 that I'm grateful for but since I'm celebrating 40 years, so let's write down 40 :-)

My Birthing Story

“A woman’s satisfaction with her birth experience is related more to her involvement in decision-making than to the outcome.” – Dr. Sarah J. Buckley. “Gentle Birth, Gentle Mothering”

Just like with her manang, our bunso came out at 38 wks and 6 days, thru CS after 20 hours of waiting for an active labor to start. We tried to have VBAC, but I really don't know why i didn't reach active labor. This is my birthing story.

The date when we found out that we are pregnant is the same date when we got engaged.

When we found out that we are pregnant after 6 months of planning and trying, I am really decided that this time, i will give birth naturally. No OB-Gyne will scare me nor discourage me to try for Vaginal Birth After Ceasarean or VBAC. I asked for help and confidence from a doula, who is based in the Philippines. I researched and found out that there are successful vbac cases as part of medical experiment here in Dhaka. So I was hopeful I will be able to find an OB-Gyne who will support my decision. I started asking around too in Bangladeshi mommy groups and was glad to chance upon someone who had a successful vbac here in bd. Luckily, the ob sits here in uttara too, but because her clinic hours are at evening, it is impossible for me to go there alone. So we opted to go to another OB who sits in United Hospital because this time we decided to change OB and hospital. 

The first OB is popular and highly recommended. She didn’t discourage me about vbac but wasn’t encouraging too. For her, it will be all upon God's will. The first two appointments, i had to wait for one to two hours, not because of a long queue but because the appointment system at united hospital sucks! For them, the appointment time doesn’t mean you will meet the dr already but your call time/reporting time. It is irritating and a waste of our time really, waiting for so called professionals who don’t know how to value the time of others. 

I changed OB after that, and went to another OB who was referred by a friend. She was my OB till my 36th week coz suddenly she changed tone. From the start i did informed her that i want to have a trial labor and she did agree. But on my 36th wk checkup, she told me that we need to schedule my CS the following week when we meet again for my 37th wk checkup. That's when i decided that, i will really need to change ob again and meet the ob here in Uttara. That time, my husband is already with a new company with better working hours. So he can accompany me already with my checkup. He booked an appointment with Dr Hafiza Aktar instantly.

My OB, Dr Hafiza Aktar, with my newborn baby.

It was the best decision, and we even wondered why it took us so long to meet her - but well, of course we knew the answer, it wasn’t possible for me that time coz my husband was always at work till midnight. Instantly, i felt comfortable and at ease with dr hafiza. The very first OB whom i felt is genuinely caring. She agreed with trial labor. Agreed that we will wait till my 40th week then after that we will go for CS. She even explained to me that a rupture water bag without labor pain doesn't warrant for an emergency cs coz we can wait at least 24hours for labor to commence, and in case that my bp is high again, they will manage that first before deciding for cs. Imagine my surprise when she told me that? If only my first OB did those things before or if only i was well informed during my first pregnancy, then maybe i was able to give birth naturally.

My eldest daughter giving kiss to her ading.

On my 38th week, our eldest daughter gave an announcement that her sister will arrive on Sunday. - That’s either Oct 1 or Oct 8, coz my edd was Oct 10. For me, any date will do as long as it is on October and not on September. I was even hoping for oct 4 so that my daughter and my husband will have the same birthdate or oct 12 so that it will be the same with my parents wedding anniversary. 

Oct 1 Sunday, after eating what I requested for dinner “Take Out Burgers”, i was getting ready to have a shower. My husband told me that our daughter's announcement didn’t come true. In which i replied, there is another Sunday before my edd. She didn’t say which Sunday, she just said on Sunday. I entered the bathroom and i saw there is blood in my pee. So i called my husband and told him that i think i will start laboring soon, so he has to be prepared. When i entered the bathroom again, my water bag broke. That's when i told him to inform the OB. We were advised to go to the emergency dept of Uttara Adhunik Medical College Hospital already so they can check and monitor me. We told our daughter that mommy and daddy will need to go to the hospital already and she has to stay with her grandma or ruma auntie. This was tough coz it is the first time that we are leaving her alone.

In the emergency room, they checked my blood pressure. It was high again. I really think I have a white gown syndrome. Since my water bag broke already, they told us we need to be admitted as they need to monitor me and put an IV on me.

This is a government hospital, and men are not allowed inside the labor room/ob dept. I was sad thinking I will be spending the whole night, alone with the other women in labor in the labor room. Good thing they told me I can stay in my cabin since I’m not in active labor yet. While in the labor room though, I noticed that they don’t allow the women who are in active labor to move around. We were told to just lie down in bed, so different from what I usually hear from friends in the Philippines where they advise you to move more to help the baby move down and to help the labor to progress. Before going to my cabin, the doctor-on-duty reprimands me from moving or walking around and I was advice to just lie down and go to sleep.

My companion is fast asleep.

Inside my cabin, I’m getting antsy. I don’t feel any pain. I don’t know what’s happening, if I’m progressing or not. They didn’t do IE also, the doctor in charge said it is unhygienic. I was chatting with Escie, she was giving some tips of what I can do to help me go thru labor. But nothing is working, until I’m so sleepy and just decided to sleep coz if I will go to labor the following day, I know I will need all the strength.

Come morning time, they wheeled me back to the labor room. Still no labor pain, my OB came after lunch, and advised me to have a small dose of Pitocin, maybe it can help me go thru labor. By 4pm, when they did an IE, I didn’t understand if my cervix is still close or not at all progressing. She was actually willing to wait till the following day, but the OB in charge gave her opinion also that it might be too risky since I’m not progressing at all. My husband and I feels worried too, we think it is way too risky to wait till the following day, so we decided to go for CS again.

Not the actual operating room but similar looking. The one in Adhunik is more bare, and dimmer.

They prepped me up for CS. By 7pm they wheeled me to the operating room. And well, I felt like I’m entering a horror movie scene haha! It is so bare, unlike the operating room at Apollo Hospital, which was well-lighted. The only thing missing inside the operating room to complete the horror movie feels are the hanging knives, saw, and chains.

At 720pm, October 2, 2017, Monday, weighting 6.6 pounds, 20 inches long, our second born, our second daughter, the youngest grandchild of my parents, Arielle Maisie, is born.

A perfect birthday celebration for my husband's 37th birthday
, as we were discharged from the hospital on Oct 4th.

I may have not got my goal of giving birth naturally, but this time, I’m at peace because it was a gentle birth. We tried, we were given the chance, and we made the call. 

What is a Sister?

A sister is someone more special than words. She's love mixed with friendship, the best things in life. She's so much inner beauty blended together with an outward appearance that brings a smile to the happiness in your heart. A sister is one of the most precious people in the story of your life. And you'll always be together, whether you're near or apart.



Together, you have shared some of the most special moments two people have ever shared. A sister is a perspective on the past, and she's a million favorite memories that will always last. A sister is a photograph that is one of your most treasured possessions. She's a note that arrives on a special day, and when there's news to share, she's the first one you want to call. A sister is a reminder of the blessings that come from closeness. Sharing secretes. Disclosing dreams. Learning about life together.



A sister is a confidante and a counselor. She's a dear and wonderful friend, and - in certain ways - something like a twin. She's a hand within your hand; she's so often the only one who really understands.



A sister is honest and trust enfolded with love. She's sometimes the only person who sees the horizon from your point of view, and she helps you to see things more clearly. She is helper and a guide, and she is a feeling, deep inside, that makes you wonder what you would ever do without her.



What is a sister? She's someone more special than words; someone beautiful and unique. And in so many ways, there is no one who is loved so dearly.

-Douglas Pagels




I miss you JC! Mwaaah!