Wedding Preps

Preparing for a wedding is tough. Preparing a wedding from overseas is tougher. Preparing a wedding from overseas between Filipino and a foreigner is the toughest.

It's not about the selection of suppliers and hiring the best suppliers, but the process and procedure of getting a “Clearance to Marry” is what making it tough and hard. Once you booked the church and the venue, booking other suppliers are easy and not even a big deal anymore once you face the reality of acquiring a Clearance to Marry. What is a Clearance to Marry? This is a clearance from the Chancery/Diocese that soon-to-be-married couple who falls under mixed marriages should acquire and submit to the church apart from the other basic required documents in order to get married. Without this clearance, couple cannot get married in the church.

All the things are doable, that is, if you have the liberty of time. But for us overseas worker whose vacation leave is upon the decision of the big bosses, based on work load and other company issues, it’s tough. And this is what stressing me. H is reluctant of availing more than 10 days vacation leave. That’s the maximum days one can apply in a stretch, and he is so pessimistic with this matter. He already thinks that the company will not give him special considerations. He didn’t ask yet but he is already saying that the company will not allow him more than 10 days. So, he is pushing me to negotiate with the Chancery to accommodate us 5 days before our wedding date instead of their 10 days advisory.

I’m also praying that the Chancery will give us special considerations since it is really tough getting leave. And we really want to get married in the church in the Philippines. But like what my friend said, this so-called rules of the institution was created to give us a hard life when it is not written anywhere in the Bible. Thus, he has lots of questions about our religion. Most of the practices and rules are not written or given by God but by human beings already. These things do not necessarily make our life more spiritually or easy. Oftentimes, this rules are like hindrances and barriers and roots for ill-feelings towards the church.

I couldn’t help it but feel indifferent and sad. I don’t know if I will feel anger towards H for not being so positive about it or to the church for giving us tough time. I even thought that if they will not permit us, then I will not get married in the church and I will forever blame the church for not giving me my dream wedding. But my mom said, it’s a test of my faith. If you really want something, you really have to work for it. When you have it, and when you achieve the fruits of your hard work, you will cherish it more and appreciate it more. In the end, you will work harder for a successful married life because you will always remember the hard road you have to pass in order to be in that married life.

I just hope everything will work according to our schedules.