My Precious

"My Precious!" 

Believe me I can say it the way Smeagol/Gollum says it in the LOTR movie :-) And whenever I say it with the hand-movements also, it freaks-out H's cousin. Of course, I do that sometimes on purpose just to scare H's cousin.

In the movie, "My Precious" refers to the One Ring. And this entry is suppose to be about "our own Precious", but until now we haven't purchase our wedding rings. I'm still in search of our precious.

Before coming home, H and I checked the Apan Jewelry in Bangladesh. But they don't have a decent looking wedding banns. Most of the rings they have are the huge gold rings, the typical rings that are usually given during Bangladeshi muslim or hindu weddings, and they don't customize since most of the jewelries are imported. So, we just took our ring sizes and decided to purchase the rings here in the Philippines. H was even surprise to know that there are jewelers here who can customize gold rings.

Based from the wedding forum, the known and reputable suppliers for wedding rings are Goldenhills, Mayfair and your very own jeweler from the province of Bulacan. There are other suppliers but maybe they have a steep price tag already that's why they are not popular in the wedding forum. Yesterday, we dropped by Edsa Shangri-la to check Sunjewel but too bad, they  are close on sundays. 

Originally, my plan was to attend the Bridal fair in MOA but we ended up in Nuvali with my sister and her family. Call it a detour :-) By the time we got back to Manila, it's already 5pm, and we took C5 instead of Magallanes, so I decided to just check "Goldenhills" showroom in Galleria. 

In the showroom, there are lots of rings to choose from, unlike in their website. They can customize also a design. The first few rings that they showed me were way beyond our budget so I just told them straightforward what's my budget. Good thing, they have rings also within my budget range, and at the moment they have 20% discount. I already inquired regarding the design that I like but too bad, the quote is beyond the budget too. So, I still have to canvass other suppliers or I may just end up buying whatever is on display.

And, because of this search, I found out that the International Ring Sizes varies from country to country. There's US/canada, German, Japanese, Swiss and British ring sizes. When we took our ring sizes in Bangladesh, I'm size 9 while H is size 19, but here in the Philippines, I'm size 5. The sales attendant in Goldenhills advised me to check the chart in the net since they don't have a chart in their showroom. That's a bummer or maybe they are just too lazy to look for the chart.

Anyway, I checked Mr. google and this is what I found out:

Looks like, Bangladesh or rather the Apan Jewelry follows the Japanese size and Philippines follows the USA/Canada size. I just hope I'm right with this one, then that means H's ring size is 9 1/2.

So for now, I'm still in search for our precious. I'm looking for simple ones, something that I can wear everyday without fear that someone will snatch it away from me. These are the pegs:

I want it with 5 diamond stones for me  if  it's within the budget.

White gold with two different finish - glossy and matte

P.S.

I already found our wedding ring supplier. She is a nice person and she was able to give me design options based on our budget. Now, in two weeks time, she will be able to deliver "Our Precious" :-)

Constant Change

“There’s a universal truth we all have to face, whether we want to or not, everything eventually ends. Endings are inevitable. We say goodbye."

When I left my previous company, I created this video as part of my farewell email to them. It's a compilation of pictures taken during my 4 1/2 years of service in the company. Mostly are pictures during showroom openings and inauguration, campaign launching and other company programs.



"There is only one thing that is constant in life...that is change"

Wedding Preps Updates: Documents

8 months and 3 weeks and 6 days to go before our wedding, and here are the additional accomplishments. I mentioned in one of my post about our Church wedding requirements, and I’m so glad that we already got new copies of all H’s documents.

"Confirmation Certificate"

The first document that we were able to get is his Confirmation certificate. It was a breeze getting a fresh copy of this one. No hassles at all even if in the record book his father’s name was wrong. We just requested the Parish Priest to copy the names written in H’s old baptismal certificate. And the priest did so without questioning us further or making a big deal out of it. If it is in Manila, for sure they will require us to get an affidavit or maybe question us rigorously. And he also wrote the note “For Marriage Purpose” when I asked him to please write it there in the bottom. Yes, I told the priest to “write” it down since the certificate was handwritten. Think about old school.

"Birth Certificate"

The second document was his birth certificate. Finally, someone is registered! Prior to that, H doesn’t know what’s a birth certificate is and he is not also aware about its existence. When he told me that he doesn’t have one, I started googling about it, as to where to get it or what’s the equivalent document, and got the information at the UNICEF blogsite. Only after my research when H was convinced that there is a Birth Registration and he can get a certificate for that. Birth registration exists here but it is not being followed and the Birth Certificate is not given any importance. It was the 2004 Births and Deaths Registration Act that made birth registration compulsory for all persons born in Bangladesh. So, finally, on my birthday he went to the city corporation to register himself.

"Baptismal Certificate"

Third, his baptismal certificate. We had to schedule a trip to Chittagong for this one since he was born and baptized in Chittagong. I went with his mom to Chittagong via train and this trip deserves a separate blog entry. We arrived in Chittagong around 3pm and we couldn’t do any work that day anymore, so we went to the parish office first thing in the following morning.  If the priests in Dhaka were helpful and friendly, this time, the clerk there was annoying. Or let’s say, I find his attitude not fitting for someone working in a religious institution. Anyway, I’m still thankful that we were able to get it after 2 hours, even if he didn’t want to type the “For Marriage Purpose” note since according to him, there’s no space for that and they don’t really do that. This time, the certificate is type-written.

"Certificate of Singleness"

Fourth, his Certificate of Singleness. This one is quite a hassle because first there was a mistake in the date, the date should be before the civil wedding date. And, it's annoying when someone will have to tell me that it is okay when it is not what I require. Then again they don’t know what title to write in the subject. It seems that the advocate was not familiar with the certificate but well, we just have to trust him as he is known to H’s cousin-in-law. They end up writing "Certificate of Singleness" as per my instruction.

"Declaration of Marriage"

And we also got our “Declaration of Marriage” certificate on the same day that we got his Certificate of Singleness. Yes, we got married civilly here in order to omit some requirements in the Philippines and that is the “clearance to marry” from his embassy in the Philippines and the Marriage License from the city hall. We will not have enough time to apply & get for that clearance & license (both require physical appearances) since he will be in manila 5 days before our wedding only. So, we decided to get married civilly so that he doesn’t have to go to the embassy and apply for the clearance and we can submit our Marriage Certificate instead of the Marriage License. Yes, I’m his legal wife here already but not yet in the Philippines since it’s not registered there yet. Well, that’s just my own joke to him. I'm eligible to apply for "Non-Resident Visa" or "NVR" already, but we decided to just get it after our church wedding since one requirement for that is to stay here for a year which is not possible right now.

"Registration of Marriage"

We already applied for our Registration of Marriage in the Philippine Embassy, and we will have to wait for another two months before I can request a copy from NSO. Even if we are legally married now, we are not staying together as husband and wife yet because for us, the civil wedding was for documentation purposes only. We want to really celebrate our married life together after our church wedding. Yeah, so near yet so far :-) Our embassy here in Dhaka does not administer marriage between Filipino and a foreigner, I'm not sure about in other countries.

"Pre-Cana Certificates"

Fifth, our pre-cana certificates. We are required to attend the class together, so we asked permission from the Chancery we can have it here since it’s impossible for us to be able to attend it together in manila. We had the Pre-cana at the Holy Spirit Major Seminary in Banani, and they required us to submit a letter of recommendation from our respective parishes. I got my one from Our Lady of Mt. Carmel Shrine since we are getting married there and he got one from the Holy Rosary Parish in Tejgaon. I will write a separate post regarding our pre-cana class.

"Certificate of No Impediment"

Sixth, finally we got a letter of “No Church Impediment”. We had to go back to Tejgaon to get this one after we got our pre-cana certificates. This letter is to inform the chancery that we don’t have any impediments here, stating that we are free to marry each other and that none of us was/were married before to anyone or other people.

I’m so happy with our progress. I will bring home all the documents with me and will submit it to the Chancery once I get new copies of my baptismal and confirmation certificates. I’m still undecided if I’m going home to Vigan to get this or just ask my friend to get it for me. While my Birth Certificate and CENOMAR (Certificate of No Marriage) from NSO was received by my sister already in manila. The only thing left are the Marriage Banns and the Canonical Interview. The Banns we will have to post by February 2013 and the interview we will have it on May 14, 2013. After that, we will get a clearance from the Chancery which we will submit to the church so that we can get married.

UPDATE: October 7, 2012

After a month of following up with my friend who is based in Vigan, finally, they found my Confirmation Certificate.
 It was not in the Parish Office but it was in my Highschool's Campus Minister's office since I received my confirmation from our school. The reason why we checked the parish office first because my mom told me she got my sister's certificate from there and we received our confirmation at the same time, so I assumed that my one is also there. Only to find out that the Parish Office decided to return the records to the origin or where the event was held. When my friend went to the campus office, they can't find my original record also, but since I'm known to them, they were able to furnish me a copy of the certificate.
So finally, with all the documents in hand, I went to the Chancery last October 4 to submit it already. Ms. Bessie is one pleasant lady, we even chatted for few minutes about my life in BD. And now, she reminded me my only pending documents - the wedding banns, NSO Marriage Certificate and the canonical interview. She explained it to me that I have to get all the docs from her again prior to our Canonical interview and then return it back to her after that, and after 3 working days, our clearance will be release and this clearance, we have to submit it to Mt. Carmel so that they will allow us to get married :-) I'm so happy with my accomplishments. Now, if only I can proceed with my plans of DIY projects like the kissing bells-cum-escort card, table number lay-out, AVP, cord, and other small things. I hope mr. sun will keep on shining so that I can go to the wholesaler heaven called Divisoria and also to check Wellmason again in Quaipo for the beads and accessories for the cord. 

EyeBall

Eyeball or EB in short is a coined term for meet-ups of cyber friends or friends you met online through a common group or activity.

During my university days which was around 1997 - 2001, EB was the "in thing" but I never went to any EB. I'm not that active in the cyberspace before, but I often hear my bacthmates talking about "EB" that's why I know that it was the trend. I just started university then, I was a provincial lass (but not that naive of course since it's not my first time in the city) who got her first email address through the default student email address. That was the time I learned how to chat in MiRC and eventually discovered YM and Yahoo! Email. But I was never into blogging, I'm an old school, I prefer writing a diary the traditional way with lovely notebook and colorful pens. I wrote a lot, but now, those diaries are gone. After all, it's all about my past love. I started blogging years after my university days, quite late, maybe year 2003 or 2004. But it was a bitter blog that was full of negativity, I deleted it already ever since all the bitterness and negativeness was washed out by a new found love full of positiveness.

My first EB happened this year, here in Bangladesh. I just got engaged then and so I joined a wedding forum, the Weddings At Work or W@W. It isn't my first time in joining this wedding forum but I was not an active member then, unlike now, I'm active and I'm even friends with the other brides-to-be and the founder of the group too. So, my first EB was with a fellow w@wie. It was a short period of time since she was in a seminar, so we squished in our "meet up" during the lunch break. It was good that the venue of their seminar was near my office.

with Krystle at the Spectra Centre

Krystle is so sweet and soft-spoken but strong. She gave me a copy of the "W@W Primer". The booklet is really helpful to all who are planning to get married. It isn't a bible that you have to follow but it's a good read with all the tips and advices. I think, through Krystle, the w@w founder got to know about me. I still get starstruck with the founder :-)

Since I'm active in the group, it's just obvious that I attended another EB with them, and this time a lunch date organized in Manila.

It was also a mini birthday celebration of the w@w founder. And I was really starstruck that time because she approached me and asked about bangladesh and slightly about my lovelife. It was a fun experience meeting finally in person the other w@wies. I can say a lot of good things about this wedding forum and I think it deserves a separate entry.

My recent EB happened again here in Bangladesh. This time with a fellow blogger, who is also a Filipina and married to a Bangladeshi. Yes, two similarities that bonds us. I can't exactly recall how did we chance upon each other's blogs. I think it's through another photography group Litratong Pinoy. Too bad that group blog is already dissolved.

Mary and Maria

She and her husband came home for a vacation. She informed me about their vacation and we made sure that we will meet each other here in BD together with our significant others. I'm just so glad that they were able to squished us in their busy schedule. We met at Arong Gulshan 1 branch since that's the most convenient place for us to meet, I can do my shopping and at the same time, there is a cafe inside the store. They are both jolly persons and even H enjoyed their company. Even if it was our first time to meet each other personally and given the short period of time (I think an hour or so of chatting)it felt like I just met a long-lost friend. I'm glad that the meet-up went well. I had actually fears that we will not gel with each other coz I usually have this impression that other bloggers are snobbish :-)And, they gave us an advance wedding gift, a "scrapbook" :-) Now, I can compile all my printed Digiscrap :-)

I'm so glad meeting my cyber friends in person. I hope I will meet other foreigner bloggers base here in BD too, and maybe who knows, we will end up as good friends :-)

Random Updates

As I can’t get enough time and peace to compose a worth reading blog entries, I’m writing random updates again as usual.

I’m down to my last few days here in Bangladesh as I have plans of going home to the Philippines by the end of this month. I can stay here longer but I have prior appointment there and I want to meet my Canadian based relatives before they go back to Canada. As the day is nearing, I’m having mix emotions already. I miss them already especially H and I’m still here, what more once I’m in manila. I hope they can cope up well with my absence especially the lil bro as we literally spend most of the time together. But, I’m also happy that I’m going home and will be able to spend some time, that’s a minimum 9 months, with my family. I miss the little ones, they are both growing so fast into adorable toddlers and my 4th sister is having all the fun and enjoyment of taking care and playing with our niece and nephew. My niece is celebrating her 1st birthday next month so I have to be there, after all, I’m her godmother.

I’m happy that I’m going home but part of that is facing the reality of “job hunting”. I’m not familiar with the job market in the Philippines anymore, having spending the last 4 ½ years working here abroad. I’m praying that I can find a good paying job, somewhere that I can work effectively and can make me financially stable while saving some few bucks also. That savings will be helpful next year especially that we plan to go home to Vigan with my H and in-laws.

UPDATED:
Some pending stories that I want to blog about are:
*EB or eyeball with w@wies and fellow blogger.   Done.
*Wedding preps updates, mostly about the certificates and our pre-cana Done.
*Chittagong trip which is connected to the wedding preps.
*Some learnings and tips from fellow w@wies
*Updates with cooking and my Bangla lessons

Thank You for the Music

H is a man of few words. When he was just courting me, we were always on the mobile phone but he listens to me most of the time. He expresses himself through music. He doesn't talk that much then but he always sing a song for me. He either emails me a mp3 or bluetooth his favorite songs to me. Most of the songs are reflections of his feelings at the moment. And this particular song, hit me straight to my heart. It was the first song he gave me.


He gave it to me on our first date and he just bluetooth it to my phone. At that time, I'm not sure of his intentions yet, he just told me it's one of his favorite songs and he wants to share it with me. It was my first time to hear this song and I really like it. After listening to the song, I knew then that I'm very special to him. It became our theme song and he always sing it to me and he even danced with me while he was singing this song.

This is the first bangla song he sung for me and this is the first and the only bangla song I can sing. I learned it in one night and I sung it to him over the phone before he boarded the plane for India. He was amazed and in awe :-)

It's about a guy asking a girl if she is willing to join him in a boat ride even if he can't promise a smooth sailing ride.

Our love was complicated before and this was the song that was nearest to our feelings. I translated it to him and he learned it. The only Filipino song that he can sing.

I'm actually thinking of using this as my bridal march since I still feel the same "ipaglalaban ko ang ating pag-ibig".

While searching for songs for our wedding, he send this to me. And this is the first song I learned how to play n the guitar :-)


These are just some of our favorite songs.

Silver Lining

“There’s a silver lining in every clouds” (View from my ex-office window)

One month to go and I will be back in Manila. It’s not a planned vacation. It is actually not part of any of my plans. I’m a type of person who plans things ahead of time or maybe it’s more of day dreaming the future. It has its uncertainties as no one can predict what the future will bring but it relaxes me knowing that I have plans. I will do things and try to do things in the present that will come out with the end result that I planned. But, life is always changing; change as they say is the only thing constant in life. Sometimes, changes happens upon your decision which is always good because you can still plan ahead with the changes that you are planning but there are also changes by other forces, and that is inevitable and most of the time will leave you off-guard.

The owner of the company where I used to work made a wrong business strategy and decisions that cause the company a big loss and is now facing financial crisis. Because of this present scenario of the company, whose financial standing is not getting better yet, they decided to cut my service as I was the most expensive employee they had. And my boss told me the news at a very “ideal” time – a day before I go home for my quarterly leave. I was devastated. All my plans were ruined. I am prepared to leave the company by the end of November this year because my work permit is valid until then. I had prepared for it, arranged my budgeting, arranged my schedules accordingly, and I even got a new job offer from a different company exactly after my work permit/contract ends. But things changed, and it was devastating. I was upset and even shedding tears during my flight from Dhaka to Singapore. I feel lost; lots of things were in my mind. I am glad that my share for the wedding expenses is already covered because I have savings for that. My only worry is my other responsibilities. What will happen to me, to papa whom I’m supporting (his medications), and to my sister whom I share the apartment in manila? My vacation that’s supposed to be a happy vacation because I’m going to do the first leg of our wedding preparation was tarnished by this sad news. I’m glad I have a supportive family. They cheered me up and even told me that at least I will be able to focus in my wedding preps, I will be able to relax after all I’m not happy working anymore under the new management. And, there’s a job offer also for me this December from another company, so I just have to worry 4 months of unemployment –July to November. That is the silver lining – a time for wedding preps and freedom from the work/company burden.

I thought everything was okay. Until recently, the December job offer is cancelled. They told me they have to move the date because the company’s organogram is not fulfilled yet. There’s no COO yet so the business can’t be operational yet. So, they will move it again next year, latest will be August and the earliest they can’t assure me. I was again upset by this change. That is a year to wait, and things can happen in between. It’s something that I can’t really hold on to. So, now, we have to re-plan our next move. That means 9 months of separation, 9 months of long distance relationship and 9 months in the Philippines. Looking for a job here is not easy, especially that I don’t speak Bangla, and I need to find a job that will allow me to go home still in time for my wedding. Jobs abroad are not also feasible for the same reason. I need to find a job that will allow me to go home to Manila next May for my wedding. So the best option is to stay in Manila and look for a job there. Of course the pay will not commensurate what I used to receive here or what will I Receive in OFW contracts, but it is a job that will help me with my daily expenditures/necessities and will let me stay in manila also. H is also worried. I without a job is not helpful. He can support me but it is better if we both have work. And, he wants me to have financial freedom too. I re-packed my things again, ready for shipment. I can’t leave my business clothes here anymore because I won’t be back until next year. And if I have a good job there, then I might stay for a little longer after the wedding too. H is upset and so with his parents and cousin. I feel sad but at the same time happy that I will be spending more time in the Philippines before I settle down here. And who knows, maybe we will end up settling down in the Philippines.

At this stage, my life is full of question mark. Sometimes, there is exclamation point but more of commas. I don’t know why this thing is happening to me, to us. H is also facing a hard time in looking for a job because the previous boss ruined his reputation while the present boss, unknowingly tarnished H’s reputation also by implication. This coming 9 months will be the longest time that H and I will be away from each other. Not by hours, by roads, by buildings but by oceans. We will be in two different countries with two hours time difference. Sometimes I asked, are we doing the right thing? Is getting married now the right choice? Are we each other’s bad luck that’s why these things are happening? Sometimes I think, we are just about to start our life together and we are already facing challenges. Is our love for each other strong enough for us to withstand the challenges that are coming our way? I’m scared what our married life will be if I will not get a job, but I’m not scared of leaving him here. I’m not scared of the separation. I’m confident with our love. The 9 months is nothing compared to a lifetime with him.

So, what is the silver lining now? I will have more time to spend with my family, more time to play with my nephew and niece, and more time to enjoy Philippines before I settle down. After 4 years, I will celebrate Christmas in the Philippines with my family, celebrate New Year, experience the Holy Week, maybe get a chance to attend my Highschool reunion and enjoy life and have fun the Filipino way after all it's more fun in the Philippines! :-). After 11 years of working, this is my time to relax a bit, savor the moment and enjoy the last few months of being a bachelorette. I just have to find a job to help me with my expenses.

"There are no accidents - if it's appeared on your life radar, this is why: To teach you that dreams come true; to reveal that you have the power to fix what's broken and heal what hurts; to catapult you beyond seeing with just your physica senses; and to lift the veils that have kept you from seeing that you are already the person you dreamed you'd become. - Bo Sanchez"