Pregnant Chronicles #3: My Pregnancy Guide

A well-informed first-time-mom or FTM makes one's pregnancy journey easier, not exactly "easy, hassle-free, worry-free" but a bit easier than in total darkness of the unknown and new experience. Expecting women have a lot of questions especially the FTM, everything is new and unknown.

Information are now so accessible - there are lots of books, e-books and, aside from tips and advices from families and friends, in the cyber world there are groups where you can share experiences, ask questions and compare notes with.

Gone are the days where your only sources of information are the "old wife tales" or from your reliable OB. There are blog articles and medical websites where you can read all the facts, & myth-buster regarding pregnancy and motherhood - they are all readily available in just one click to Mr. Google.

It's a good thing that I'm pregnant at the same time with my sister. Firsthand knowledge is good and more convincing. I can always viber her and asked question regarding pregnancy symptoms, woes and others. And because my 2 elder sisters were pregnant with their 1st born 2-3 years ago, my own mother started reading books regarding pregnancy, after all, you do need to update some knowledge - and sometimes send some screenshot or image of a certain page in the book. I'm also glad that there are lots of support group online and some of the members are my "new friends" from WaW, and I get to share some notes with them.

Aside from my sister, mom and waw friends, I swear by this book "What to Expect When you’re Expecting" by Heidi Murkoff & Sharon Mazel.

I downloaded the e-book version and just read it on my mobile phone for convenience. It is very comprehensive and informative. It's like my OB is just beside me all the time ready to answer my questions, and clear my doubts. Reading this book make me knowledgeable about what's happening inside my body and my baby, and what about to happen and expect. I actually got more answers from this book than from my own OB - who seem to be distant. I just sometimes asked my OB just to cross-check if what I read is accurate or not, and to check also if my OB is knowledgeable too. It is an easy read too because it's written by "monthly development". It started from planning to conceive and continues with the monthly development. I even shared this e-book with my other expecting friends. I also share whatever I read with my husband so that he will not get worried like me.

Antenatal Class

Since we are first-time parents, we decided to attend an antenatal class. I was actually hoping that they will informed us more about the labor or different birthing method, but they discussed none of these two. Most of the things discussed are things that I’m aware of already because of my advance reading, still it was helpful for my husband because at least he got informed about it. The class is informative, it just so happened that I read most of the things they tackled in class.

New things I learned from the class are:

• ·         The hospital protocol: they will wait only two days after the EDD, and they will induce you to labor.
• ·         The different stages of labor and different labor position
• ·         The different anesthesia and their pros and cons: general and spinal.
• ·         If there is less baby movement even if there is a heartbeat, you should inform your practitioner – it’s similar to someone in a coma: there is a heartbeat but no reaction.
• ·         After 36^th week, your feet will get swollen.
• ·         I’m not sure about it, but they did say that from 36^th week you can give birth, I thought it’s from 37^th onwards.

We toured also the maternity ward.

Aside from these two, and the online forums and groups where I get to read some answers to similar experiences and questions, I did asked friends who are based here in Dhaka too regarding their own experiences. It’s good to be really aware and be informed with the situation & scenarios here. I was advised to be vigilant around 36^th weeks because usually that’s the time when some OB will tell you about “complications” that will make you decide to go for CS. So, my husband and I decided that if ever we cross this bridge, we will go for a second opinion. So far, everything is fine with my pregnancy, I’m already in my 35^th weeks and my OB told me to get enough rest and sleep as my amniotic fluid is around 10.5 – normal is from 10 to 15, so my one is bordering again, so I need to increase it to avoid early child birth. I asked other OB’s and goggled it too regarding low AFI. What I understand is that low AFI doesn’t mean the baby is at risk, a normal AFI is from 5cm -25cm. Before recommending induce labor, non-stress test (NST), fetal monitoring and/or biophysical profile should be done first to check if baby is fine or under distress. If baby is under distress then we should go ahead with the early delivery. Now, this one I will have to ask my OB next visit, I don’t want to be force into labor just because the OB wants to, even without reasonable reasons or without monitoring first.

And, it was a plus factor also that I have 2 friends who had a normal delivery here, even if they gave birth at Square Hospital and not in Apollo (where we are planning to give birth), that’s a glimpse of hope that a normal delivery is possible here.

I started reading also “the Happiest Baby on the block by Harvey Karp” and   “newborn Care” in the website of “Baby Center” and taking notes also from the online forums, especially regarding “breastfeeding’. We plan to exclusively breastfeed our baby up to six months, and continue giving breast milk until our baby will wean on her own. No to baby formulas and follow-up formulas. I hope we can stick to this decision.

Pregnant Chronicles #2: Myths, Beliefs and/or Facts

Like the Philippines and other culture and civilizations in the world, Bangladeshis have their own traditions, beliefs, myths and superstitions regarding pregnancy. We can say we are living in a modern world already but beliefs don’t die just like that. Either it’s purely myths I find it weird because I grew up in a family that don’t believe in superstitious beliefs even if we are aware of those things. My own mom didn’t follow any myths but all 5 of us siblings grew up pretty well and we are all okay.

As soon as people finds out about your pregnancy, you will get tons of “tips and advices”. Others are facts but mostly are myths. You hear a list of “Do’s and Don’ts” but you seldom hear “words of encouragement”. You hear stories about the difficulties of pregnancy but no one will tell you the “joys of pregnancy… With all this things, I wonder why they don’t just advice “don’t get pregnant”. I’m not spared of this things and it’s more annoying if those people are your own family. And it’s weird that you hear these things from “moms” as if they didn’t know or no one told them before that “every pregnancy, every woman is different”. That, what works for you may not work for me and vice versa. I know sometimes they say this things but they mean no harm, but we pregnant women have lots of things to think and worry and be concern about already and it will be a great help if you will not add up to our “pregnancy woes” with your myths and beliefs.

These are the few things I come across with:

Don’t eat pineapple.

My MIL told me this because a pregnant lady had a miscarriage after eating pineapple. This is their conclusion base on what happened and not base on any medical diagnosis. I goggled about it and read that pineapple can cause early contraction but it isn’t included in the “list of food to be avoided during pregnancy”. It’s a good thing that pineapple is not my favorite fruit. How about “pineapple with/and milk”? No one told me it’s bad to eat this two together until I came here in BD. I tried googling about it but I didn’t find any explanation. Apparently, someone died after eating pineapple and/with milk, and again they concluded that’s the cause of death. If someone can clarify this or give veracity regarding this, please do share.

Don’t eat eggplant.

From my Filipino friends, according to them the baby’s skin will not be smooth if you eat eggplant. While from a Filipino-Chinese belief, it will make your baby’s eyes big & round instead of the chinky eyes. The fun part is the way a friend told me about it after posting a picture of eggplant in FB, it’s like a just committed a mortal sin. I just avoided eating eggplant after that, it’s doable anyway since I only want my eggplant cooked as torta or puki-puki which no one here wants to eat it that way. Now I’m thinking does it count when you are not aware that you are pregnant yet? I was not aware that I’m pregnant already last July and it was Ramadan so I’m always eating fried eggplant for iftar. My own mom ate eggplant when she was pregnant also, and again we are all fine and our skin is smooth.

Don’t eat raw/uncooked green papaya.

I know pregnant women should not eat anything raw, but my MIL specifically told me not to eat a raw papaya. Again, she doesn’t know why but she was told not to eat it when she was pregnant herself.  I wonder do the Japanese women stop eating sushi when they are pregnant.

Don’t eat eggs.

Not really “stop eating eggs” but my MIL wants me to lessen eating eggs like one egg per week only. She doesn’t want me to eat too many eggs because one of her relative had a miscarriage for eating too many eggs. And according to her, that was the OB’s diagnosis. While, an ex-colleague told me that her mom made her eat at least two eggs per day and she just gave birth with a healthy baby boy. My take on this is “anything that is too much is bad, pregnant or not. Everything should be eaten in moderation”. My own OB actually t told me I can eat anything as long as I don’t have problem eating. Really, the key is eating in moderation. With all the things my in-laws told me not to eat, funny thing that they didn’t tell me to lessen or stop eating sweets at all. My FIL actually buys ice cream every day for me even if I keep on telling him that I don’t want to eat ice cream. As soon as I reached my 6 months, I actually stop eating rice for dinner and eat only steamed fish with veggies for dinner and, lessen my sugar & sweets.

Don’t buy fish after dusk because the evil spirits will follow you. And don’t go out after 6pm.

To avoid the bad omen or to ward off the evil eye, pregnant women were given some ribbon to tie around their tummies. Our house helper gave me and my husband a wrapped matchbox that she prayed over as our talisman. I just carry it inside my bag so as not to offend her, and there’s no harm in carrying it anyway. Aside from that, I always carry a rosary with me. My faith in God is still stronger than any superstitious belief.

Avoid taking a bath in the evening or you will get sick. That’s 4pm onwards!

Eat leafy vegetables (shak) to have a hairy baby.

Ok, I don’t believe this but I don’t want to have a hairy baby (my husband and FIL wants a hairy baby), so I stop eating shak. There’s already a big chance of having a dark-skin baby, making it hairy will make it worst. It’s fine if the baby is a boy, but I’m having a baby girl, so I prefer a smooth skin please.

Don’t eat anything black like the squid. Eat only white food stuff.

I’m not that fair, my skin-color is “kayumanggi” and so with my husband who is a Bangladeshi. He isn’t black skin but he isn’t fair, and his skin complexion is darker than mine. Even if we have families and relatives who have fair skin, our baby will inherit mine or his skin complexion or it can be a shade of our colors combined. My point is it’s in the genes and not on what I ate or eat while pregnant. I don’t think I will end up having a “white skin baby” if I eat all the white stuff and avoid eating black stuff. It doesn’t work that way. The same way that even if I’m going to rub my niece or nephew’s clothes on my tummy, my baby will not inherit their Chinese skin.

If it is a baby boy, you will look ugly, if it is a baby girl, you will look pretty.

Other people believe the opposite, if it is a boy you will look pretty but if it is a girl you will look ugly because the baby is getting all your beauty. Maybe it’s true, maybe it’s not, and maybe it’s just pure luck or coincidence. But the truth is, no matter what the gender of the baby is, there’s this “pregnant glow” and our looks change because of the way our hormones affects us and also our diet. No matter what we do, our hormones are crazy during pregnancy. That is something we can’t control. What we can control is our diet that is also affected by our hormones, and it takes a lot of commitment to control ones diet especially if we have those cravings. There are women who exert effort to look pretty but there are also some who doesn’t care less of their appearance since they are not feeling well at all to even spend time in front of the mirror. And there are the lucky ones who are just really pretty when they are pregnant. I was irritated when my sister told me that I look ugly now, what more if I’m having a boy. I didn’t argue anymore because I find it useless. Fact 1, even before, we knew that I’m not the prettiest among us 5 siblings, so why it will matter now that I don’t look pretty like her when she was pregnant. Fact 2, I’m not the fairest among us 5, so obviously if I turn darker around my neck, it will be more noticeable than her, right? I just shrug it off, what matters most is that my husband finds me pretty and getting pretties with each passing day. Who cares if other people think I’m ugly, as long as my husband finds me pretty and never fails me to show his love and asked me randomly “why do you look prettier and prettier every day.”

You are so big for your stage.

Again, every pregnancy and every woman are different. I’m petite; I’m almost 5 ft so obviously I will look rounder because I’m short. And, I’m really “tabain” even before getting married. And all pregnant women will gain weight, and will grow big. Even the skinny ones will gain some weight and flesh but since they are skinny to begin with, their weight gain will be minimal or unnoticeable in comparison to someone who is voluptuous in the first place. So please, stop saying “when I was at that stage, I was not that big”, “you look more than your actual week”, and blah blah blah blah. I love my baby bump so it doesn’t matter if I showed-off earlier than you or the others. Maybe because I had an easy first and second trimester that I really didn’t lose weight but actually gained weight because I feel so hungry most of the time and I can eat anything without feeling nauseous or vomiting.

Look only at beautiful people and fair-skin people to have a beautiful baby with fair skin.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. And again, my baby’s appearance will not be base on the images/pictures or, the faces that I looked at or stared at – it are all in our genes. I don’t believe in “LIHI”. There’s no proven scientific or medical explanation to that. I told my mom “no matter how long or many times I stare or watch my niece’s pictures and videos, my baby will not look like her because my husband is not Chinese. Even if I stare at an actress picture, my baby will not look like the actress. I can say only this: my baby will be a beautiful one with the combination of my best assets and her daddy’s best assets. She will be beautiful on her own, an international beauty and my Ms. World. And, I’m in Bangladesh, not looking at someone who isn’t fair is next to impossible, and no one is going to stop me from staring at my handsome husband.

The baby will be a genius because she is an Aries as per my in-laws.

Nope, I beg to disagree. My baby will be smart/genius regardless what her horoscope is, simply because she is my baby. Yes, I’m proud to say that. I don’t want to base my baby’s personality and capability according to the astrology. I’m not a hardcore believer on astrology, while I noticed majority of the Bangladeshis are that includes my in-laws.

Enough have been said and shared, and there are still lots of things to say related to pregnancy. Remember that while it can be true for some, it may not necessarily be for all. There are ways of fighting for a good and enjoyable pregnancy. You just have to be like a sieve, letting the non-sense and useless things go away and keeping the better, positive, more encouraging, nevertheless realistic, side of things, just the important and essential things. Learn to shrug it off, and above all, have faith in God that He will never leave you alone.

Here's an excerpt from Rica's blog:

"There's a way to fight what the world says, women. And even men - husbands of these wives; do pray with your ladies. Believe for the best and do everything by faith. Refuse curses and declarations others confess upon you and your body and I dare say there's a way to fight it, but that is only through the Lord who is greater than he who is in the world. Even the book "What To Expect When You're Expecting" poses disclaimers that every pregnancy is unique with symptoms that cannot be ascertained. yet I learned that we can be sure of one thing, and that is I can do this by faith and faith in God alone."

Pregnant Chronicles #1: The Beginning

I’m 27 weeks today, the beginning of the last trimester of my pregnancy journey. And I intend to chronicle it starting this week – my thoughts, the invaluable lessons, and other pregnancy related issues. I would have done it earlier but I delayed it as a respect to my in-laws’ wish of not sharing anything about my pregnancy, except of course with my immediate family and closest friends. As a matter of fact, I share all my pregnancy woes/issues/stories with my family more than with my in-laws , which is normal. It’s something with the Bangladeshi culture where “pregnancy” is something to be a “hush-hush” and not something to be announced widely. This is to avoid any “bad wishers” or the "evil eye". They even consider it a minor illness, I remember one colleague, he never informed us that his wife is pregnant and by the time his wife was on labor and he has to take the leave, he just informed us that his wife is ill and in the hospital. Some Filipinos do the same thing too – just keeping the news within the family.

After two weeks of arriving here in Dhaka, I got pregnant. It’s something that we planned right after we got engaged because I’m not that young anymore and we want to start our family as soon as possible. It’s an answered prayer. Looking at the dates – I conceived on July 3^rd, a few days before that, I was sick and was on medication. I was hoping to be pregnant by then so I was disappointed when my monthly cycle started on the 3^rd. So right after the cycle, we double our efforts, followed some tips & tricks in the hope that we will get it this time. I have fears of “having difficulties in getting pregnant” and “running out of time”, which are why  we followed some tips/tricks, anyway, there’s no harm in doing so.

I started reading Rica’s blog when I found out she is pregnant. And because of what I’ve read in her blog, I was aware of the symptoms of early pregnancy which I slowly notice with my own body 1) tenderness of the breast, 2) changes in the body temperature which worries my Husband thinking I might fall sick again and 3) the implantation or seeding. Good thing I read this seeding in the blog, otherwise I would have think that my cycle started again, a week earlier. All through out, I was also in constant communication with my sister who was pregnant also at that time. By 1^st week of august, I want to take a home pregnancy test already because my suspicion was getting high – my sister advice me to wait for few more days. 

Come August 7^th, I can’t wait anymore so I decided to take the test – and I’m so happy when I saw the 2^nd line appear. It’s like a magic unfolding right in front of you. I was planning to tell the news to my husband the following day as my “anniversary surprise” to him, but he was inside our room waiting for me to come out from the bathroom so he saw the kit in my hand. There goes my advance gift to him. I informed my 2 sisters and mom about the positive results instantly, and the following day, we informed my in-laws. After my first check-up we found out I'm 6 weeks pregnant, I informed the rest of my family, and after another check up where I heard the baby’s heartbeat already, I informed my closest friends.

We were face with the next dilemma – finding a good OBGyne who will support my decision of having a “normal delivery” and not thru “caesarian section” which is the common practice here in Bangladesh. Majority of the child deliveries here are thru “CS” – for some reasons, it’s the choice by the majority of the locals here. We heard stories about 1) OB’s scaring the patient that they will have no choice but to choose CS over normal delivery, 2) the mother is not properly informed about the cons of CS, and they just want the easier way to give birth. Due to this unethical medical practice, I have my own doubts. At the back of my mind, the doctor is taking good care of me but at the same time not helping me much to have a normal delivery. I just felt a little bit at ease when two people I know gave birth recently thru normal delivery. I wish to see their OB but their clinic is far from where I live, so I have no choice but to go to the nearest reputable hospital which is the Apollo. I haven’t heard any good feedback regarding my present OB the same way that there’s no negative feedback about her also. So for now, I’m sticking with her. In general, OB’s here are distant and cold. They don’t really explained things to you unless you ask them. And it seems they don’t really build a “relationship” with their patients, unlike in the Philippines. I did inform my OB that I prefer normal delivery and her reply was she don’t force her patients to go for CS, if they think they can handle the labor pain then they can have normal delivery. Well, it’s good to know that the decision is mine; I just pray that she is helping me with this one.

Well, I did prepare myself before getting pregnant. As soon as I got engaged, I went to my sister’s OB to have myself vaccinated with MMR. I started drinking folic acid also a few months before I got married. These plus healthy married life and of course prayer helps us get pregnant.

Christmas 2013: First Christmas as Husband and Wife

Since 2007, I've been celebrating christmas here in Dhaka. In comparison, it's not really a very festive or a big celebration here.  I've been celebrating christmas eve with H's family, the only difference now is we are married. This is our first christmas as husband and wife - it may not be festive as I want it to be, but I'm happy because I'm his wife now and I was able to spend the rest of the christmas day just making fun of each other and cuddling each other and feeling our baby move inside me. That  is a very precious moment :-)

Christmas Day here is just like an ordinary day except maybe if you are living around christian community which we are not. Few days before Christmas, I prepared the chicken embutido already for our christmas menu, a little something that reminds me of our noche buena meals in the Philippines. I wanted o marinate a christmas ham like what i used to do the previous years, but since our househelper isn't a christian, we really don't cook pork at home, so I settled for chicken embutido instead. They don't really have special dishes here that you can associate with christmas, unlike in the Philippines, there are some special dishes that you can associate with christmas or special occassions like the Christmas ham, queso de bola, sapin-sapin, palabok, meatloaf or embutido, spring rolls, the rice cakes like puto bumbong, and other family traditional dishes. But I think, I will make the chicken embutido a staple of our Christmas menu starting this year.

They don't have noche buena here also. We ate our dinner before going to the church for the midnight mass and then when got back from the church, we just ate some apple pie before distributing the gifts, and after opening the gifts, we went off to sleep. Christmas day is quiet also, my husband cooked beef rezala and chicken korma for lunch, and then we had a party to attend in the evening. Nothing festive really, but like what I said, I'm happy because I spend it with my husband :-) and next christmas, I know it will be more festive because our little one will be with us already. Merry Christmas everyone and a prosperous New Year!!!

Groom's Suit and the Men's Barong Tagalog

the look & poise that I can't resist! Photo by Bryan Yap

My groom doesn’t like to wear barong tagalog, he prefers suit over barong. Majority of the men here in Bangladesh wears suit on special occasions and they know their suit pretty well. So, instead of having his suit done in Manila, he had it tailored here in Bangladesh. He went to Fit Elegance for his suit because the master tailor is well-known and was trained at Reid &Taylor. Even without fitting session, the suit was perfect fit.  I’m glad he wore a suit because he looks more handsome and dapper. I know he will look good in barong also but a suit fits him well. We bought his tie at Robinson's Department Store.

photo by bryan yap

As for my father-in-law and cousin-in-law’s barong tagalong, we bought a readymade one at Kultura. 

Wedding Extra Extra

DIY or Do-it-yourself is the "in thing". Brides do it for so many reasons.

1) Budget: some items are cheaper than what is available in the market or the quote given to you by a supplier. But like in business math, the materials cost is not the only thing you have to consider in computing your actual price, you have to include your fare, fuel (if you went via car), time you allotted for buying and your own labor. So plan ahead before going to the wholesale haven so that you can maximize your time once you are on your buying spree. If you want to save more, you might consider using recycled items. I did by using the extra wedding invitation cards of my sister's wedding instead of buying cardboard for the letter buntings, table numbers and others.

2) Personal touch: you have a specific theme perhaps or you just simply want to personalize your event.

3) The item is not available in the market.

4) Artistic flair. You are simply creative and you are into craft-making, and it's your hobby.

5) Free time. Yes, you have all the time in the world to be creative and do all the things you want to create and make.

Others may have other reasons, but what I mentioned are my own reasons, and here are my own DIY's.

Kissing bells with tags as wedding favors

Name plate

Embellishment on the sole

Tag for the bubble wands. The monogram was designed by my friend.

Recycled pomander by dyeing it in yellow and lilac

Handwritten notes for the moms

Embellishments on the Secondary candles

Embellishments on the Offertory Candles

Embellishments on the hand-me-down cord

Perfect Match for each other

Bible garter

Bangladesh handicraft, I requested a friend to sew it as the new cover of the ring pillow

Both pillows are hand-me-down from my sister, we changed the cover using a Bangladeshi pillowcase

Letter buntings

Table numbers are names of places we've been as a couple

I made our growing up avp too. Here's the link . 
*All photographs are by Bryan Yap.

Wedding Moments to Remember

“I will not remember what my wedding looked like. I will remember how it felt. Because at the end of the day, even really cool stuff is just that: stuff. It’s the love you share, the people who hold you up, and those precious moments of bliss and joy that you will remember for the rest of your life. And none of that is for sale.”

There are lots of moments but some are starting to fade. The wedding day was stress-free, thanks for my A-Class suppliers and the love of friends and families.  There are moments that I will forever remember, just want to share it here too. Honestly, I can’t remember the set-up, decors, or even the taste of the food anymore but until now I can still remember the smiling faces, unusual moments, and funny moments. True enough, it’s not the cool stuff that will stick to your mind but those precious moments of bliss and joy, and how I wish it's the same with my guests too. Here are the precious moments:

•  15 absentees out of my total 100 guest list. That's almost perfect anyway because all the most important people in my life are present. It's like a Family reunion. Special thanks to friends who came home from australia, hongkong and saudi just to attend my wedding, and friends who travelled from ilocos just to be with me also.
• When honey was playing/fidgeting with the arrhae and ring box while we were on our knees, facing the altar.
• When honey was making faces at me, trying to make me laugh while i was saying my wedding vow! Mischievous husband!
• When I was standing outside the church, waiting for my cue to enter, my friend's dad, Tito Willy, approached me, gave me a peck and his wedding wish. One of the sweetest gesture that day! 

Photo by Bryan Yap

• Our couple’s first dance, even without the mood lights, I find it romantic because honey was singing the song to me while we were dancing. Brings me back to our dating days, when he swayed me to dance in the privacy of our home while singing acapella of our love song.
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Photo by my bro-in-law

• The father-daughter’s dance to the tune of "Butterfly Kisses" that suddenly became a “family dance”. My papa who hates wearing barong, took off his barong as soon as he reach the reception venue, so he was feeling shy when we were dancing with his in-shirt on and no barong, so he decided to call my mom, and then my sisters to join the dance. If only the quartet played “sasara ang bulaklak, bubuka ang bulaklak, darating ang reyna, pakembot-kembot.”

• The prosperity dance because I want my husband and my in-laws to experience and witness one of the Filipino traditions. It was fun, and I actually advice my friends about it beforehand, and my friends are really cool, they pinned their money shaped into heart, sash and crown.
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Photo by Bryan Yap

•  I want my honey and his mom to have their moment too, so we added a mother-son dance.      

• W@W love was present that day too and I even heard from one supplier “having Benz as a guest means the w@wie couple are big time”. hahah! It’s just so happened that we became friends :-)

My husband's cousin got the garter, while my cousin lost the female's game.

• The single’s game. My wedding is the third in our family, but it’s a first time that we had the “single’s game” added in the program. It was fun and all my female cousins were game, too bad my male cousins went home with my grandfather before the game, thus we only had two bachelors left as all my friends are married too. It was an extra-ordinary experience for my husband's cousin, even if he was aware of this game, it is really his first time to be part of the game.

My High School friends with their respective families. I will have my own baby next time we see each other again.

• It’s like a highschool reunion with all my friends around and a family gathering will all my relatives around too. I’m glad that my family enjoyed the event too. Nakakataba ng puso when my sister said “it’s the best and most relaxing wedding she attended so far”.

• The night before, my in-laws surprised me with their traditional bengali way of "pamamanhikan" by giving me slippers in a tray with a lighted candle, gold jewelries - that i'm supposed to wear everyday, especially the bracelet as this is the symbol that you are a married woman, I can't be "bare" as the jewelries are symbol of abundance & prosperity in marriage, and things that I'm supposed to wear/use on the first night like toiletries, perfume and nightgown. Too bad, the bengali sweets were confiscated at KL Airport.

• And the wonderful speeches, from the best man, maid of honor, parents and friends. Awesome, witty, inspiring and very heartfelt :-)

       my mom's message: Peachy & Alvin, we are very happy for both of you. Alvin, welcome to our family. You have married a very unique girl - resourceful, cheerful, kind, creative & always willing to lend a hand. Peachy you are now a wife, a part of a unit & half of a couple. As a married couple you will have good days & bad days. Always celebrate the good days, and because you can't avoid the bad, learn from them. Find happiness in the simplest things & joy in being together. Respect each other & every now & then, give each other space. But always start & end your day with a kiss, a hug, & those three important words I LOVE YOU. We wish you all the happiness in the world. Congratulations!

Bride's friend's message:

Peach, Alvin, Congratulations again. 

For those of you who don’t know me, my name is Mika. Peach and I have been friends for 16 years now. We’ve been through thick and thin together, or in our case, fat and thin. Sexy na kami ngayon!  

We passed college, thesis, practicum and the board exam together. We’ve even survived the floods of UST. One time, we got stuck in the car because of the rising flood, and someone stole my side mirrors. Peach freaked out on my behalf. If it weren’t gross and insanely dangerous to wade out, Peachy might have run out to catch the guy. She epitomizes the expression small but terrible. So Alvin, always stay on Peachy’s good side! 

Peach brought me to Vigan, my first out of town trip, ever. We got stuck in the bus for 13 hours . But Peach was there to liven things up. We even had a theme song for that trip. This guy’s in love with you pare. There is no one I’d rather be stuck with that long than Peach. (Pause) And then there was Cebu, Puerto Galera. We conquered the Angkor Wat! Peach, I hope your adventures with Alvin will be as fun and exciting as ours, and I look forward to hearing lots of kwentos from you. 

I have a huge library of stories, but I feel we might not have enough time and will just be repeating what others have or will share - that Peach is a wonderful friend. 

Even though distance made it difficult for us to remain involved in each other’s lives, Peach constantly makes an effort to keep in touch. She always takes the time to meet up whenever she’s here in Manila. 

So when I learned that Peachy and Alvin were getting married, I gave her the best advice I could think of: DON’T. Obviously, she didn’t listen to me. But kidding aside, I was very happy for my friend. I was even happier to have finally met Alvin when he was here last year to meet the family. 

Marriage and weddings were things we talked about before. To see her now, happy and be with someone she deeply loves, and loves her in return, I am truly blessed to be part of this celebration. 

Peach brought me to Vigan, my first out of town trip, ever. We got stuck in the bus for 13 hours . But Peach was there to liven things up. We even had a theme song for that trip. This guy’s in love with you pare. There is no one I’d rather be stuck with that long than Peach. (Pause) And then there was Cebu, Puerto Galera. We conquered the Angkor Wat! Peach, I hope your adventures with Alvin will be as fun and exciting as ours, and I look forward to hearing lots of kwentos from you. 

I have a huge library of stories, but I feel we might not have enough time and will just be repeating what others have or will share - that Peach is a wonderful friend. Even though distance made it difficult for us to remain involved in each other’s lives, Peach constantly makes an effort to keep in touch. She always takes the time to meet up whenever she’s here in Manila. So when I learned that Peachy and Alvin were getting married, I gave her the best advice I could think of: DON’T. Obviously, she didn’t listen to me. But kidding aside, I was very happy for my friend. I was even happier to have finally met Alvin when he was here last year to meet the family. Marriage and weddings were things we talked about before. To see her now, happy and be with someone she deeply loves, and loves her in return, I am truly blessed to be part of this celebration. Peach, good luck to you and Alvin. I hope your party never ends and wish you both all the best.