Preparing for a wedding is tough. Preparing a wedding from overseas is tougher. Preparing a wedding from overseas between Filipino and a foreigner is the toughest.
It's not about the selection of suppliers and hiring the best suppliers, but the process and procedure of getting a “Clearance to Marry” is what making it tough and hard. Once you booked the church and the venue, booking other suppliers are easy and not even a big deal anymore once you face the reality of acquiring a Clearance to Marry. What is a Clearance to Marry? This is a clearance from the Chancery/Diocese that soon-to-be-married couple who falls under mixed marriages should acquire and submit to the church apart from the other basic required documents in order to get married. Without this clearance, couple cannot get married in the church.
All the things are doable, that is, if you have the liberty of time. But for us overseas worker whose vacation leave is upon the decision of the big bosses, based on work load and other company issues, it’s tough. And this is what stressing me. H is reluctant of availing more than 10 days vacation leave. That’s the maximum days one can apply in a stretch, and he is so pessimistic with this matter. He already thinks that the company will not give him special considerations. He didn’t ask yet but he is already saying that the company will not allow him more than 10 days. So, he is pushing me to negotiate with the Chancery to accommodate us 5 days before our wedding date instead of their 10 days advisory.
I’m also praying that the Chancery will give us special considerations since it is really tough getting leave. And we really want to get married in the church in the Philippines. But like what my friend said, this so-called rules of the institution was created to give us a hard life when it is not written anywhere in the Bible. Thus, he has lots of questions about our religion. Most of the practices and rules are not written or given by God but by human beings already. These things do not necessarily make our life more spiritually or easy. Oftentimes, this rules are like hindrances and barriers and roots for ill-feelings towards the church.
I couldn’t help it but feel indifferent and sad. I don’t know if I will feel anger towards H for not being so positive about it or to the church for giving us tough time. I even thought that if they will not permit us, then I will not get married in the church and I will forever blame the church for not giving me my dream wedding. But my mom said, it’s a test of my faith. If you really want something, you really have to work for it. When you have it, and when you achieve the fruits of your hard work, you will cherish it more and appreciate it more. In the end, you will work harder for a successful married life because you will always remember the hard road you have to pass in order to be in that married life.
I just hope everything will work according to our schedules.
Saturday, March 17, 2012
Friday, March 9, 2012
The Hunt
I can't think of a better title for this one but this is about my hunt for the church and venue of our coming wedding.
It's official, I'm getting married and I'm an overseas bride - meaning I'm going to prepare my wedding via phonecalls and emails - how easy is that! :-) Good thing, right now, work load is light so I was able to browse the net and source for suppliers (that's two weeks of browsing). I was able to book the church and venue via emails and phonecalls too, and asked my sister to go there personally to pay for the downpayment.
Our wedding is still next year but wedding in manila is a big event and the churches and venues are like hotcakes specially on hot dates. Hot dates are the dates considered lucky by feng shui, superstitious belief and other beliefs. It is advisable to book your church and venue at least a year ahead. Yes, you read it right, a year ahead, that is if you are eyeing the most sought after church or venue on the hot dates.
Picture grabbed from google
Picture grabbed from google
As for me, I have a very limited dates to choose from because I have to consider the availability of my family. And that leaves me only 7 saturdays to choose from. Why saturday? So that our guests can attend the occasion without filing a leave from there work and school.Given that fact, it's harder for me to get a venue because i have a short time constraint. Initially, I want an April 20 wedding date but the future in-laws think it's way too early and requested for a later date. My 2nd choice is May 18th. But since this is a hot date, the venue that I want was already booked for the evening event and I was left with the option to have a morning event. But the con for morning event is the call time is way too early. The ceremony should be at 9am so that you can have the reception from 11- 2pm. With that, you have to wake up around 4am to start with the wedding preparations like Hair and make up and pictorials. So i have to check other dates, and I'm left with april 27. I pencil booked the church and the venue for morning event because the venue rental fee is cheaper for morning event.
3D image of the Orchard Ballroom...I hope this venue will not fail me
When i asked and discussed it again with H, that's when he asked me why get the Pavilion and not the Orchard ballroom since it will be 50k lesser than the pavilion. We have to be practical and we have to save whatever we can save. So, that's when I checked again with the AE the availability of the ballroom and thank goodness, it's still open since this one is new and will have it's first event only this coming May. And that's how I got the church and the venue on the date that I want, May 18, 2013 330pm ceremony and 5pm-9pm reception, and according to our budget also.
Now, the next step is hunting for the other suppliers. But I think the toughest part will be the processing of all legal documents in order to get a marriage license, a pre-requisite in getting married plus all the seminars like family planning and pre-cana seminar. How we are going to do that is still a question because as much as possible I don't want us flying again to manila prior to the wedding to attend all the seminars. It's way too expensive and a hassle also at work. Sometimes I wonder if this are the reasons why there are lots of people in the Philippines who are not getting married in church yet or opt to live together because they don't want to face the hassle of the church requirements.
Aside from my sister who is helping me with all this preparations, I also joined Weddings at work yahoo group. It's a group of all those couples who are in their planning stage of their wedding also. It's in here where I get tips and moral support also. Haaaay... this is just the first leg of my wedding preparations, it's still a long way to go.
One reason why I booked Our Lady of Mt. Carmel and Oasis is because of proximity. Here's the location map:
It's official, I'm getting married and I'm an overseas bride - meaning I'm going to prepare my wedding via phonecalls and emails - how easy is that! :-) Good thing, right now, work load is light so I was able to browse the net and source for suppliers (that's two weeks of browsing). I was able to book the church and venue via emails and phonecalls too, and asked my sister to go there personally to pay for the downpayment.
Our wedding is still next year but wedding in manila is a big event and the churches and venues are like hotcakes specially on hot dates. Hot dates are the dates considered lucky by feng shui, superstitious belief and other beliefs. It is advisable to book your church and venue at least a year ahead. Yes, you read it right, a year ahead, that is if you are eyeing the most sought after church or venue on the hot dates.
As for me, I have a very limited dates to choose from because I have to consider the availability of my family. And that leaves me only 7 saturdays to choose from. Why saturday? So that our guests can attend the occasion without filing a leave from there work and school.Given that fact, it's harder for me to get a venue because i have a short time constraint. Initially, I want an April 20 wedding date but the future in-laws think it's way too early and requested for a later date. My 2nd choice is May 18th. But since this is a hot date, the venue that I want was already booked for the evening event and I was left with the option to have a morning event. But the con for morning event is the call time is way too early. The ceremony should be at 9am so that you can have the reception from 11- 2pm. With that, you have to wake up around 4am to start with the wedding preparations like Hair and make up and pictorials. So i have to check other dates, and I'm left with april 27. I pencil booked the church and the venue for morning event because the venue rental fee is cheaper for morning event.
When i asked and discussed it again with H, that's when he asked me why get the Pavilion and not the Orchard ballroom since it will be 50k lesser than the pavilion. We have to be practical and we have to save whatever we can save. So, that's when I checked again with the AE the availability of the ballroom and thank goodness, it's still open since this one is new and will have it's first event only this coming May. And that's how I got the church and the venue on the date that I want, May 18, 2013 330pm ceremony and 5pm-9pm reception, and according to our budget also.
Now, the next step is hunting for the other suppliers. But I think the toughest part will be the processing of all legal documents in order to get a marriage license, a pre-requisite in getting married plus all the seminars like family planning and pre-cana seminar. How we are going to do that is still a question because as much as possible I don't want us flying again to manila prior to the wedding to attend all the seminars. It's way too expensive and a hassle also at work. Sometimes I wonder if this are the reasons why there are lots of people in the Philippines who are not getting married in church yet or opt to live together because they don't want to face the hassle of the church requirements.
Aside from my sister who is helping me with all this preparations, I also joined Weddings at work yahoo group. It's a group of all those couples who are in their planning stage of their wedding also. It's in here where I get tips and moral support also. Haaaay... this is just the first leg of my wedding preparations, it's still a long way to go.
One reason why I booked Our Lady of Mt. Carmel and Oasis is because of proximity. Here's the location map:
Thursday, March 1, 2012
February 29
Yesterday was February 29, a very special date.
4 years ago, on this date February 29, I went out with a guy for a belated welcome dinner ( I came to Bangladesh on Nov.25, after a month I went home for Christmas Holiday and came back to Dhaka after new years celebration). He promised to treat me and my friend for lunch or dinner but for this dinner, he requested for my presence only. Days before the date, we started exchanging friendly SMS to each other, we became closer thus we decided to go out for dinner, after all, his promise was a month overdue already.
The simple friendly dinner changed both our lives... from that day until now, I'm still happy and in love with H, my chipmunk and goon. And he just proposed to me and asked my parents for my hand in marriage last February 12 :-)
4 years ago, on this date February 29, I went out with a guy for a belated welcome dinner ( I came to Bangladesh on Nov.25, after a month I went home for Christmas Holiday and came back to Dhaka after new years celebration). He promised to treat me and my friend for lunch or dinner but for this dinner, he requested for my presence only. Days before the date, we started exchanging friendly SMS to each other, we became closer thus we decided to go out for dinner, after all, his promise was a month overdue already.
The simple friendly dinner changed both our lives... from that day until now, I'm still happy and in love with H, my chipmunk and goon. And he just proposed to me and asked my parents for my hand in marriage last February 12 :-)
Thursday, February 9, 2012
Random Thoughts
This is it!
Nope, I'm not getting married yet but somehow it feels like that. Though I never had an experience getting married, I think the excitement that I was feeling yesterday and even today maybe similar to what I will feel during my wedding. I'm going home for my vacation and this time, H is coming home with me. It's time for him to meet my family, and luckily it will not be just my immediate family. He will get the chance to meet my aunts, uncles, cousins from both sides because my nephew is celebrating his 1st Birthday. Yes, it's a mini reunion of sort.
I've been dreaming and hoping for this time to come, for him to finally meet my family especially my parents, in person. It's hard to arrange the schedule because 1) my mom, together with my youngest sister lives in the US, 2) his work schedules doesn't allow him to take long leaves and 3) our present situation doesn't allow us. But, God is really good, after years of praying for this time to come, it's finally happening. For me, this is one big development especially from his part.
Looking back, the first time I met H, he was in a relationship and he was very vocal in saying that "he isn't the marrying type and he doesn't want to get married at all, it's not his cup of tea and it's not in his vocabulary". Maybe, that's one reason why his past relationship didn't work out. Who, in her right mind, would want to continue a relationship with a guy who doesn't want to settle down at all, right?
Knowing this fact, that he is not the marrying type while I'm the hopeless romantic who dreams of the most romantic proposals and the most intimate,fun wedding - totally complete opposites not only in that aspect, I still took my chances with him. Maybe I was blind by love or maybe because I accepted that maybe it isn't my faith to be married at all.Or, maybe because I was not that serious with the relationship anyway, thinking that maybe it's just infatuation (haha! at my age!!) or maybe I just want companionship while I'm working here...or maybe I'm not really sure. That time, I was ok with this facts. I was okay with the idea that I'm not going to settle down with this guy, I don't want to settle down here in the first place. But, deep inside me was actually hoping that he will marry me, who would want to spend all her effort and give all her love to someone temporary anyway? Someone told me before, that if you enter into relationship without even wishing of settling down with that person, then you are just looking for fun and fling.And, I always remember that.
Few months into our relationship or I think it's right after our 1st anniversary, out of nowhere, H just whispered to my ear "I want to marry you". I turned my head and looked into his eyes and asked him what he just said. And again, he said the same thing while looking at my eyes, "I want to marry you. I don't want to lose you". Of course, that was not a wedding proposal, it can't be. There was no ring.That time, it was a big development from someone who doesn't believe in marriage, for someone who doesn't want to get married at all. Knowing that he wants to marry me was enough for me, it is until now enough for me. But now, the next question is when? And that question is waiting to be answered, as to when until now i don't know.And I'm dying inside to know when....
Nope, I'm not getting married yet but somehow it feels like that. Though I never had an experience getting married, I think the excitement that I was feeling yesterday and even today maybe similar to what I will feel during my wedding. I'm going home for my vacation and this time, H is coming home with me. It's time for him to meet my family, and luckily it will not be just my immediate family. He will get the chance to meet my aunts, uncles, cousins from both sides because my nephew is celebrating his 1st Birthday. Yes, it's a mini reunion of sort.
I've been dreaming and hoping for this time to come, for him to finally meet my family especially my parents, in person. It's hard to arrange the schedule because 1) my mom, together with my youngest sister lives in the US, 2) his work schedules doesn't allow him to take long leaves and 3) our present situation doesn't allow us. But, God is really good, after years of praying for this time to come, it's finally happening. For me, this is one big development especially from his part.
Looking back, the first time I met H, he was in a relationship and he was very vocal in saying that "he isn't the marrying type and he doesn't want to get married at all, it's not his cup of tea and it's not in his vocabulary". Maybe, that's one reason why his past relationship didn't work out. Who, in her right mind, would want to continue a relationship with a guy who doesn't want to settle down at all, right?
Knowing this fact, that he is not the marrying type while I'm the hopeless romantic who dreams of the most romantic proposals and the most intimate,fun wedding - totally complete opposites not only in that aspect, I still took my chances with him. Maybe I was blind by love or maybe because I accepted that maybe it isn't my faith to be married at all.Or, maybe because I was not that serious with the relationship anyway, thinking that maybe it's just infatuation (haha! at my age!!) or maybe I just want companionship while I'm working here...or maybe I'm not really sure. That time, I was ok with this facts. I was okay with the idea that I'm not going to settle down with this guy, I don't want to settle down here in the first place. But, deep inside me was actually hoping that he will marry me, who would want to spend all her effort and give all her love to someone temporary anyway? Someone told me before, that if you enter into relationship without even wishing of settling down with that person, then you are just looking for fun and fling.And, I always remember that.
Few months into our relationship or I think it's right after our 1st anniversary, out of nowhere, H just whispered to my ear "I want to marry you". I turned my head and looked into his eyes and asked him what he just said. And again, he said the same thing while looking at my eyes, "I want to marry you. I don't want to lose you". Of course, that was not a wedding proposal, it can't be. There was no ring.That time, it was a big development from someone who doesn't believe in marriage, for someone who doesn't want to get married at all. Knowing that he wants to marry me was enough for me, it is until now enough for me. But now, the next question is when? And that question is waiting to be answered, as to when until now i don't know.And I'm dying inside to know when....
Sunday, January 22, 2012
Saree
Within four years, I accumulated sets of salwarkameezes and sarees. Most of my sarees are gifts from H and his family.
I enjoy wearing them during weddings and I love the georgette ones the most as they cling to your body and doesn't make you look more bulky with all those yards of fabrics wrapped around your body.
Sunday, January 8, 2012
New Year 2012
Happy New Year everyone :-)
I'm late again in blogging as December is always the busiest month for me due to the set-up and preparation of our pavilion in Dhaka International Trade Fair here in Bangladesh which will run for a month.
And H's sister is also here for 15 days vacation. Tried taking their family portrait but I still have to learn and discover what proper settings will be good enough for them because so far, all the pictures that I took, their skin complexion especially H is always dark (no offense meant here). I don't want to use the built-in flash of my camera, but I need to get a good picture of H under poor/low lighting. I'm using 1600 ISO here already just to make their skin complexion lighter but i don't want to see too much noise also. And yes, i'm using a tripod. HELP!
I'm late again in blogging as December is always the busiest month for me due to the set-up and preparation of our pavilion in Dhaka International Trade Fair here in Bangladesh which will run for a month.
And H's sister is also here for 15 days vacation. Tried taking their family portrait but I still have to learn and discover what proper settings will be good enough for them because so far, all the pictures that I took, their skin complexion especially H is always dark (no offense meant here). I don't want to use the built-in flash of my camera, but I need to get a good picture of H under poor/low lighting. I'm using 1600 ISO here already just to make their skin complexion lighter but i don't want to see too much noise also. And yes, i'm using a tripod. HELP!
Friday, December 2, 2011
Email Scam, Hacker or Virus?
Yesterday was a very disappointing day for me as my email got hacked.
I don't know how but maybe because I replied to an email notification from Yahoo that looks so legit because it has this Yahoo logo on it and the address looks complicated with that yahoo dot dot dot address, something that really looks like a legit address, but whom am I to know the real Yahoo services email addresses. That's the only recent incident that I can recall where I have to write down again a sort of application form including my password.
Yesterday, I can't log in to my yahoo mail as it is not accepting my password. I thought it's just another glitch from YM, so I just totally ignored it and went ahead with my work. Around 4pm, that's when I received an email send to my office mail from my YM mail with this message:
Hello,
Hope you get this on time, sorry i didn't inform you about my urgent trip to Leicester, United Kingdom for an urgent function. Unfortunately,i was robbed at the park of the hotel where i stayed,all cash, cell phones and credit card were stolen off me but luckily for me i still have my passports.
Embassy is far from here and my flight leaves this evening but am having problems settling the hotel bills and the hotel manager isn't helping issues. Well i really need your financial assistance. Please, let me know if you can help me out with £960 so i can settle my bills as early as possible and return home for other important appointment. As soon as i get back home, i would refund it immediately. Please get back to me quickly .
Thanks!
Peachy.
So, I instantly checked my YM and still I can't log in. I was able to recover it by changing my password again after answering the security questions. But then all my contacts in my address book and all my emails are gone/erased/deleted. I thought everything is ok already. It was send to all my contacts I think because I received a call from an ex-colleague asking me about that, after that call, I instantly posted a status in my FB informing all my friends and families about that vicious email, and truth, majority of them received the said email. H's sister who was in Canada received it also. She was almost scammed by this email because when she replied asking where am I and what's the number to call coz she wants to check if I'm ok, that email replied back with this email:
From: my complete nameTo: address of my friend
Sent: Thursday, December 1, 2011 9:07 PM
Subject: Re: Awful Trip
Thanks a lot for your response to my present ordeal, its a devastating condition which i found my self .I came in here to attend to volunteer program before this unpleasant incident happened.I have loosed everything on me,all i need now is fiscal cash to settle my hotel bill and get a flight back home. Western Union or Money Gram happens to be a quicker means of sending the cash, and please bear in mind that I'll facilitate your reimbursement as soon as i get back home. Please use the details below to send: Name: My complete name Address: 103 Uppingham Road City:LEICESTER ZIP Code:LE5 3TB Country: United Kingdom Just help me write out the MTCN or scan the receipt and other necessary details. I'm looking forward to hearing you ASAP. Thanks.
Patricia.
(note:i erased my complete name and the recipient's address)
H's sister after receiving this, called a friend in London and asked him if he can go to that address assuming it was the hotel's address, to check if I'm ok. That friend luckily or unluckily was 6 hours away from that place so he told H's sister to give his number to me or where exactly am i so that I can call him instead and we can meet somewhere as I will be missing my flight anyway. H's sister was so worried about me that she just decided to send the money from Canada, she and her husband was on their way out already when her husband told her why not call H first to know if I'm ok already or not yet because it's like an hours ago already, that I should have receive a help from someone else already. They called H and heard the truth, then I got alarmed because I already changed my passwords hours ago before the sister replied to that email so how come she received a reply from that email.
When I checked my mail, again I can't log in. I have to changed my password again. And then once I got home, I tried fixing my mail, because apparently I can't receive emails if someone is using the reply option. That's when I noticed the address. It's going to or sending to address@rocketmail.com that's not my legit email address. I'm no expert in fixing this things, but luckily I was able to fix it. I noticed that under my mail options, all replies are send to this rocketmail address. I changed it and put it back to my legit email address.
I just hope no one got scammed with this email. I'm not in close contacts with all my contacts in my address book, so I will not know if they did reply to that email. I lost all my old mails, even my original contract is in that email and some pictures from friends too. So sad.
I don't know how but maybe because I replied to an email notification from Yahoo that looks so legit because it has this Yahoo logo on it and the address looks complicated with that yahoo dot dot dot address, something that really looks like a legit address, but whom am I to know the real Yahoo services email addresses. That's the only recent incident that I can recall where I have to write down again a sort of application form including my password.
Yesterday, I can't log in to my yahoo mail as it is not accepting my password. I thought it's just another glitch from YM, so I just totally ignored it and went ahead with my work. Around 4pm, that's when I received an email send to my office mail from my YM mail with this message:
Hello,
Hope you get this on time, sorry i didn't inform you about my urgent trip to Leicester, United Kingdom for an urgent function. Unfortunately,i was robbed at the park of the hotel where i stayed,all cash, cell phones and credit card were stolen off me but luckily for me i still have my passports.
Embassy is far from here and my flight leaves this evening but am having problems settling the hotel bills and the hotel manager isn't helping issues. Well i really need your financial assistance. Please, let me know if you can help me out with £960 so i can settle my bills as early as possible and return home for other important appointment. As soon as i get back home, i would refund it immediately. Please get back to me quickly .
Thanks!
Peachy.
So, I instantly checked my YM and still I can't log in. I was able to recover it by changing my password again after answering the security questions. But then all my contacts in my address book and all my emails are gone/erased/deleted. I thought everything is ok already. It was send to all my contacts I think because I received a call from an ex-colleague asking me about that, after that call, I instantly posted a status in my FB informing all my friends and families about that vicious email, and truth, majority of them received the said email. H's sister who was in Canada received it also. She was almost scammed by this email because when she replied asking where am I and what's the number to call coz she wants to check if I'm ok, that email replied back with this email:
From: my complete name
Sent: Thursday, December 1, 2011 9:07 PM
Subject: Re: Awful Trip
Thanks a lot for your response to my present ordeal, its a devastating condition which i found my self .I came in here to attend to volunteer program before this unpleasant incident happened.I have loosed everything on me,all i need now is fiscal cash to settle my hotel bill and get a flight back home. Western Union or Money Gram happens to be a quicker means of sending the cash, and please bear in mind that I'll facilitate your reimbursement as soon as i get back home. Please use the details below to send: Name: My complete name Address: 103 Uppingham Road City:LEICESTER ZIP Code:LE5 3TB Country: United Kingdom Just help me write out the MTCN or scan the receipt and other necessary details. I'm looking forward to hearing you ASAP. Thanks.
Patricia.
(note:i erased my complete name and the recipient's address)
H's sister after receiving this, called a friend in London and asked him if he can go to that address assuming it was the hotel's address, to check if I'm ok. That friend luckily or unluckily was 6 hours away from that place so he told H's sister to give his number to me or where exactly am i so that I can call him instead and we can meet somewhere as I will be missing my flight anyway. H's sister was so worried about me that she just decided to send the money from Canada, she and her husband was on their way out already when her husband told her why not call H first to know if I'm ok already or not yet because it's like an hours ago already, that I should have receive a help from someone else already. They called H and heard the truth, then I got alarmed because I already changed my passwords hours ago before the sister replied to that email so how come she received a reply from that email.
When I checked my mail, again I can't log in. I have to changed my password again. And then once I got home, I tried fixing my mail, because apparently I can't receive emails if someone is using the reply option. That's when I noticed the address. It's going to or sending to address@rocketmail.com that's not my legit email address. I'm no expert in fixing this things, but luckily I was able to fix it. I noticed that under my mail options, all replies are send to this rocketmail address. I changed it and put it back to my legit email address.
I just hope no one got scammed with this email. I'm not in close contacts with all my contacts in my address book, so I will not know if they did reply to that email. I lost all my old mails, even my original contract is in that email and some pictures from friends too. So sad.
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