While bloghopping, I saw this wonderful article from this blog. I asked permission to share it here also. A year from now, I'll be getting married to a wonderful man, who loves me with all his heart and in the best way he knows.I know I'm marrying a good man, whether he is a smoker or non-smoker. That's not what defines him really, but non-smoker is a plus points.
I used to date guys who doesn't smoke. Actually, that's one criteria that I look for a guy. I don't smoke and i hate the smell of the cigarette's smoke. My dad smokes a lot, and in our small apartment, whenever he is around smoking, the air feels cloggy, congested, and polluted. He stopped before but then for some reasons, he went back to his habit. But, I don't hate smokers, I just don't like having a boyfriend who smokes. I read somewhere before, it's gross kissing an ashtray.
H used to smoke. He started young, maybe around 15, and it's normal here. Smoking here is like a status symbol for men. It seems like 9 out 10 men here are smokers. They are not just casual smokers but chain smokers. But, the guys here are discreet with their smoking, they don't smoke with lady colleagues around, or with boss around even if the boss smokes too, or with someone who's higher than them but not necessarily their boss. Like my driver, I know that he smokes, and he knows that I know that, but whenever he sees me, he hides his cigarettes behind him. Same with my other colleagues, either they excuse themselves or do not smoke until I leave. Ladies who smokes are not openly accepted here.
H knows from the very start that I don't like guys who smokes. When we started dating, he lessen his smoking. From 5 sticks a day, it came down to 3 sticks a day. After-a-while, it became occasionally smoking. And finally, he totally dropped the habit. It's been 3 1/2 years now. That's for me is one of his biggest sacrifice in the name of love, for I know how difficult it is to dropped a habit. And that is one thing I love about him too, he is one disciplined man and a goal achiever.
I copied the whole article here to share. It's a wonderful thing to read. I just see my man in this article. It's even similar to an article I read a few weeks ago, I just can't recall the title but it's something about "Marry a Girl who Travels".
MARRY A MAN WHO DOESN’T SMOKE
by Julie Trinidad.
(Inspired by Marry a Woman Who Can Read)
Marry a man who doesn’t smoke- because the man who doesn’t smoke lives a healthy lifestyle. And because his body is healthy, his mind is healthy too. Since he’s in his right mind, he thinks before he speaks and acts on what is proper and not on mere impulse.
A man who doesn’t smoke knows the value of time. He doesn’t while it away by puffing a cigarette nor go out of his way just to find a light. And because he knows the value of time, he will surely treasure every moment you’re together. He will never forget the important milestones in your life, and he won’t show up late on your wedding day ,instead he’ll be there handsomely waiting for you by the altar looking and smelling all fresh since he didn’t have to smoke before your exchange of vows.
Marry a man who doesn’t smoke because a man who doesn’t smoke is disciplined. Since he has self control, he doesn’t binge nor cringe on pressures brought about by work, peers or family problems. Since he doesn’t break in pressure, he only becomes stronger and better through time. Since he’s in control, he’s responsible and because he’s responsible, he’ll take care of you and your family, he won’t leave you begging and crying or worrying about tomorrow, and will let you live a life that you deserve.
A man who doesn’t smoke knows how to say no to the things he doesn’t need. Since he knows he doesn’t need a cigarette to be sane nor to look cool, he’s wise enough to say no to illegal drugs, and other vices, more so to addiction to any of it. Since the man refuses to give in to the bad stuff, he’ll be wise enough to say no to other temptations that will come along his way.
Marry a man who doesn’t smoke-because a man who doesn’t smoke is not selfish. He doesn’t think of himself, and what he wants alone but considers the people around him as well. Since he’s considerate, he’ll always think about your happiness and the welfare of your children. Because he’s selfless, he’ll never hurt you (not deliberately at least), nor leave you for another, especially not for the man in a cowboy hat.
The man who doesn’t smoke may not be perfect, but he’ll surely be a cut above the rest. For this man knows his values and knows how to value his life and everything in it. And because he values life, he values love so he’ll value you-as his wife and because he values you, he’ll treat you with much care and compassion. He’ll try his best to please you and love you the best way he knows how. And because he’ll love you like that, you’ll never have to look for a prince charming nor a knight in shining armour anymore in your quest for a fairy tale. He won’t leave you delusional fretting over Prince William’s wedding, wishing hopelessly that you’d be Kate even just for a day. Because this man who doesn’t smoke, whom you married, will give you his healthy, responsible, and selfless (not to mention smokeless) heart, with the love
that’s FOR REAL- no butts, toxin-free.
But what like I said earlier, smoking doesn't define my H. He is a man with discipline and values even before, he just added more value to his life and to his family when he decided to quit smoking.
Saturday, March 17, 2012
Wedding Preps
Preparing for a wedding is tough. Preparing a wedding from overseas is tougher. Preparing a wedding from overseas between Filipino and a foreigner is the toughest.
It's not about the selection of suppliers and hiring the best suppliers, but the process and procedure of getting a “Clearance to Marry” is what making it tough and hard. Once you booked the church and the venue, booking other suppliers are easy and not even a big deal anymore once you face the reality of acquiring a Clearance to Marry. What is a Clearance to Marry? This is a clearance from the Chancery/Diocese that soon-to-be-married couple who falls under mixed marriages should acquire and submit to the church apart from the other basic required documents in order to get married. Without this clearance, couple cannot get married in the church.
All the things are doable, that is, if you have the liberty of time. But for us overseas worker whose vacation leave is upon the decision of the big bosses, based on work load and other company issues, it’s tough. And this is what stressing me. H is reluctant of availing more than 10 days vacation leave. That’s the maximum days one can apply in a stretch, and he is so pessimistic with this matter. He already thinks that the company will not give him special considerations. He didn’t ask yet but he is already saying that the company will not allow him more than 10 days. So, he is pushing me to negotiate with the Chancery to accommodate us 5 days before our wedding date instead of their 10 days advisory.
I’m also praying that the Chancery will give us special considerations since it is really tough getting leave. And we really want to get married in the church in the Philippines. But like what my friend said, this so-called rules of the institution was created to give us a hard life when it is not written anywhere in the Bible. Thus, he has lots of questions about our religion. Most of the practices and rules are not written or given by God but by human beings already. These things do not necessarily make our life more spiritually or easy. Oftentimes, this rules are like hindrances and barriers and roots for ill-feelings towards the church.
I couldn’t help it but feel indifferent and sad. I don’t know if I will feel anger towards H for not being so positive about it or to the church for giving us tough time. I even thought that if they will not permit us, then I will not get married in the church and I will forever blame the church for not giving me my dream wedding. But my mom said, it’s a test of my faith. If you really want something, you really have to work for it. When you have it, and when you achieve the fruits of your hard work, you will cherish it more and appreciate it more. In the end, you will work harder for a successful married life because you will always remember the hard road you have to pass in order to be in that married life.
I just hope everything will work according to our schedules.
It's not about the selection of suppliers and hiring the best suppliers, but the process and procedure of getting a “Clearance to Marry” is what making it tough and hard. Once you booked the church and the venue, booking other suppliers are easy and not even a big deal anymore once you face the reality of acquiring a Clearance to Marry. What is a Clearance to Marry? This is a clearance from the Chancery/Diocese that soon-to-be-married couple who falls under mixed marriages should acquire and submit to the church apart from the other basic required documents in order to get married. Without this clearance, couple cannot get married in the church.
All the things are doable, that is, if you have the liberty of time. But for us overseas worker whose vacation leave is upon the decision of the big bosses, based on work load and other company issues, it’s tough. And this is what stressing me. H is reluctant of availing more than 10 days vacation leave. That’s the maximum days one can apply in a stretch, and he is so pessimistic with this matter. He already thinks that the company will not give him special considerations. He didn’t ask yet but he is already saying that the company will not allow him more than 10 days. So, he is pushing me to negotiate with the Chancery to accommodate us 5 days before our wedding date instead of their 10 days advisory.
I’m also praying that the Chancery will give us special considerations since it is really tough getting leave. And we really want to get married in the church in the Philippines. But like what my friend said, this so-called rules of the institution was created to give us a hard life when it is not written anywhere in the Bible. Thus, he has lots of questions about our religion. Most of the practices and rules are not written or given by God but by human beings already. These things do not necessarily make our life more spiritually or easy. Oftentimes, this rules are like hindrances and barriers and roots for ill-feelings towards the church.
I couldn’t help it but feel indifferent and sad. I don’t know if I will feel anger towards H for not being so positive about it or to the church for giving us tough time. I even thought that if they will not permit us, then I will not get married in the church and I will forever blame the church for not giving me my dream wedding. But my mom said, it’s a test of my faith. If you really want something, you really have to work for it. When you have it, and when you achieve the fruits of your hard work, you will cherish it more and appreciate it more. In the end, you will work harder for a successful married life because you will always remember the hard road you have to pass in order to be in that married life.
I just hope everything will work according to our schedules.
Friday, March 9, 2012
The Hunt
I can't think of a better title for this one but this is about my hunt for the church and venue of our coming wedding.
It's official, I'm getting married and I'm an overseas bride - meaning I'm going to prepare my wedding via phonecalls and emails - how easy is that! :-) Good thing, right now, work load is light so I was able to browse the net and source for suppliers (that's two weeks of browsing). I was able to book the church and venue via emails and phonecalls too, and asked my sister to go there personally to pay for the downpayment.
Our wedding is still next year but wedding in manila is a big event and the churches and venues are like hotcakes specially on hot dates. Hot dates are the dates considered lucky by feng shui, superstitious belief and other beliefs. It is advisable to book your church and venue at least a year ahead. Yes, you read it right, a year ahead, that is if you are eyeing the most sought after church or venue on the hot dates.
Picture grabbed from google
Picture grabbed from google
As for me, I have a very limited dates to choose from because I have to consider the availability of my family. And that leaves me only 7 saturdays to choose from. Why saturday? So that our guests can attend the occasion without filing a leave from there work and school.Given that fact, it's harder for me to get a venue because i have a short time constraint. Initially, I want an April 20 wedding date but the future in-laws think it's way too early and requested for a later date. My 2nd choice is May 18th. But since this is a hot date, the venue that I want was already booked for the evening event and I was left with the option to have a morning event. But the con for morning event is the call time is way too early. The ceremony should be at 9am so that you can have the reception from 11- 2pm. With that, you have to wake up around 4am to start with the wedding preparations like Hair and make up and pictorials. So i have to check other dates, and I'm left with april 27. I pencil booked the church and the venue for morning event because the venue rental fee is cheaper for morning event.
3D image of the Orchard Ballroom...I hope this venue will not fail me
When i asked and discussed it again with H, that's when he asked me why get the Pavilion and not the Orchard ballroom since it will be 50k lesser than the pavilion. We have to be practical and we have to save whatever we can save. So, that's when I checked again with the AE the availability of the ballroom and thank goodness, it's still open since this one is new and will have it's first event only this coming May. And that's how I got the church and the venue on the date that I want, May 18, 2013 330pm ceremony and 5pm-9pm reception, and according to our budget also.
Now, the next step is hunting for the other suppliers. But I think the toughest part will be the processing of all legal documents in order to get a marriage license, a pre-requisite in getting married plus all the seminars like family planning and pre-cana seminar. How we are going to do that is still a question because as much as possible I don't want us flying again to manila prior to the wedding to attend all the seminars. It's way too expensive and a hassle also at work. Sometimes I wonder if this are the reasons why there are lots of people in the Philippines who are not getting married in church yet or opt to live together because they don't want to face the hassle of the church requirements.
Aside from my sister who is helping me with all this preparations, I also joined Weddings at work yahoo group. It's a group of all those couples who are in their planning stage of their wedding also. It's in here where I get tips and moral support also. Haaaay... this is just the first leg of my wedding preparations, it's still a long way to go.
One reason why I booked Our Lady of Mt. Carmel and Oasis is because of proximity. Here's the location map:
It's official, I'm getting married and I'm an overseas bride - meaning I'm going to prepare my wedding via phonecalls and emails - how easy is that! :-) Good thing, right now, work load is light so I was able to browse the net and source for suppliers (that's two weeks of browsing). I was able to book the church and venue via emails and phonecalls too, and asked my sister to go there personally to pay for the downpayment.
Our wedding is still next year but wedding in manila is a big event and the churches and venues are like hotcakes specially on hot dates. Hot dates are the dates considered lucky by feng shui, superstitious belief and other beliefs. It is advisable to book your church and venue at least a year ahead. Yes, you read it right, a year ahead, that is if you are eyeing the most sought after church or venue on the hot dates.
As for me, I have a very limited dates to choose from because I have to consider the availability of my family. And that leaves me only 7 saturdays to choose from. Why saturday? So that our guests can attend the occasion without filing a leave from there work and school.Given that fact, it's harder for me to get a venue because i have a short time constraint. Initially, I want an April 20 wedding date but the future in-laws think it's way too early and requested for a later date. My 2nd choice is May 18th. But since this is a hot date, the venue that I want was already booked for the evening event and I was left with the option to have a morning event. But the con for morning event is the call time is way too early. The ceremony should be at 9am so that you can have the reception from 11- 2pm. With that, you have to wake up around 4am to start with the wedding preparations like Hair and make up and pictorials. So i have to check other dates, and I'm left with april 27. I pencil booked the church and the venue for morning event because the venue rental fee is cheaper for morning event.
When i asked and discussed it again with H, that's when he asked me why get the Pavilion and not the Orchard ballroom since it will be 50k lesser than the pavilion. We have to be practical and we have to save whatever we can save. So, that's when I checked again with the AE the availability of the ballroom and thank goodness, it's still open since this one is new and will have it's first event only this coming May. And that's how I got the church and the venue on the date that I want, May 18, 2013 330pm ceremony and 5pm-9pm reception, and according to our budget also.
Now, the next step is hunting for the other suppliers. But I think the toughest part will be the processing of all legal documents in order to get a marriage license, a pre-requisite in getting married plus all the seminars like family planning and pre-cana seminar. How we are going to do that is still a question because as much as possible I don't want us flying again to manila prior to the wedding to attend all the seminars. It's way too expensive and a hassle also at work. Sometimes I wonder if this are the reasons why there are lots of people in the Philippines who are not getting married in church yet or opt to live together because they don't want to face the hassle of the church requirements.
Aside from my sister who is helping me with all this preparations, I also joined Weddings at work yahoo group. It's a group of all those couples who are in their planning stage of their wedding also. It's in here where I get tips and moral support also. Haaaay... this is just the first leg of my wedding preparations, it's still a long way to go.
One reason why I booked Our Lady of Mt. Carmel and Oasis is because of proximity. Here's the location map:
Thursday, March 1, 2012
February 29
Yesterday was February 29, a very special date.
4 years ago, on this date February 29, I went out with a guy for a belated welcome dinner ( I came to Bangladesh on Nov.25, after a month I went home for Christmas Holiday and came back to Dhaka after new years celebration). He promised to treat me and my friend for lunch or dinner but for this dinner, he requested for my presence only. Days before the date, we started exchanging friendly SMS to each other, we became closer thus we decided to go out for dinner, after all, his promise was a month overdue already.
The simple friendly dinner changed both our lives... from that day until now, I'm still happy and in love with H, my chipmunk and goon. And he just proposed to me and asked my parents for my hand in marriage last February 12 :-)
4 years ago, on this date February 29, I went out with a guy for a belated welcome dinner ( I came to Bangladesh on Nov.25, after a month I went home for Christmas Holiday and came back to Dhaka after new years celebration). He promised to treat me and my friend for lunch or dinner but for this dinner, he requested for my presence only. Days before the date, we started exchanging friendly SMS to each other, we became closer thus we decided to go out for dinner, after all, his promise was a month overdue already.
The simple friendly dinner changed both our lives... from that day until now, I'm still happy and in love with H, my chipmunk and goon. And he just proposed to me and asked my parents for my hand in marriage last February 12 :-)
Thursday, February 9, 2012
Random Thoughts
This is it!
Nope, I'm not getting married yet but somehow it feels like that. Though I never had an experience getting married, I think the excitement that I was feeling yesterday and even today maybe similar to what I will feel during my wedding. I'm going home for my vacation and this time, H is coming home with me. It's time for him to meet my family, and luckily it will not be just my immediate family. He will get the chance to meet my aunts, uncles, cousins from both sides because my nephew is celebrating his 1st Birthday. Yes, it's a mini reunion of sort.
I've been dreaming and hoping for this time to come, for him to finally meet my family especially my parents, in person. It's hard to arrange the schedule because 1) my mom, together with my youngest sister lives in the US, 2) his work schedules doesn't allow him to take long leaves and 3) our present situation doesn't allow us. But, God is really good, after years of praying for this time to come, it's finally happening. For me, this is one big development especially from his part.
Looking back, the first time I met H, he was in a relationship and he was very vocal in saying that "he isn't the marrying type and he doesn't want to get married at all, it's not his cup of tea and it's not in his vocabulary". Maybe, that's one reason why his past relationship didn't work out. Who, in her right mind, would want to continue a relationship with a guy who doesn't want to settle down at all, right?
Knowing this fact, that he is not the marrying type while I'm the hopeless romantic who dreams of the most romantic proposals and the most intimate,fun wedding - totally complete opposites not only in that aspect, I still took my chances with him. Maybe I was blind by love or maybe because I accepted that maybe it isn't my faith to be married at all.Or, maybe because I was not that serious with the relationship anyway, thinking that maybe it's just infatuation (haha! at my age!!) or maybe I just want companionship while I'm working here...or maybe I'm not really sure. That time, I was ok with this facts. I was okay with the idea that I'm not going to settle down with this guy, I don't want to settle down here in the first place. But, deep inside me was actually hoping that he will marry me, who would want to spend all her effort and give all her love to someone temporary anyway? Someone told me before, that if you enter into relationship without even wishing of settling down with that person, then you are just looking for fun and fling.And, I always remember that.
Few months into our relationship or I think it's right after our 1st anniversary, out of nowhere, H just whispered to my ear "I want to marry you". I turned my head and looked into his eyes and asked him what he just said. And again, he said the same thing while looking at my eyes, "I want to marry you. I don't want to lose you". Of course, that was not a wedding proposal, it can't be. There was no ring.That time, it was a big development from someone who doesn't believe in marriage, for someone who doesn't want to get married at all. Knowing that he wants to marry me was enough for me, it is until now enough for me. But now, the next question is when? And that question is waiting to be answered, as to when until now i don't know.And I'm dying inside to know when....
Nope, I'm not getting married yet but somehow it feels like that. Though I never had an experience getting married, I think the excitement that I was feeling yesterday and even today maybe similar to what I will feel during my wedding. I'm going home for my vacation and this time, H is coming home with me. It's time for him to meet my family, and luckily it will not be just my immediate family. He will get the chance to meet my aunts, uncles, cousins from both sides because my nephew is celebrating his 1st Birthday. Yes, it's a mini reunion of sort.
I've been dreaming and hoping for this time to come, for him to finally meet my family especially my parents, in person. It's hard to arrange the schedule because 1) my mom, together with my youngest sister lives in the US, 2) his work schedules doesn't allow him to take long leaves and 3) our present situation doesn't allow us. But, God is really good, after years of praying for this time to come, it's finally happening. For me, this is one big development especially from his part.
Looking back, the first time I met H, he was in a relationship and he was very vocal in saying that "he isn't the marrying type and he doesn't want to get married at all, it's not his cup of tea and it's not in his vocabulary". Maybe, that's one reason why his past relationship didn't work out. Who, in her right mind, would want to continue a relationship with a guy who doesn't want to settle down at all, right?
Knowing this fact, that he is not the marrying type while I'm the hopeless romantic who dreams of the most romantic proposals and the most intimate,fun wedding - totally complete opposites not only in that aspect, I still took my chances with him. Maybe I was blind by love or maybe because I accepted that maybe it isn't my faith to be married at all.Or, maybe because I was not that serious with the relationship anyway, thinking that maybe it's just infatuation (haha! at my age!!) or maybe I just want companionship while I'm working here...or maybe I'm not really sure. That time, I was ok with this facts. I was okay with the idea that I'm not going to settle down with this guy, I don't want to settle down here in the first place. But, deep inside me was actually hoping that he will marry me, who would want to spend all her effort and give all her love to someone temporary anyway? Someone told me before, that if you enter into relationship without even wishing of settling down with that person, then you are just looking for fun and fling.And, I always remember that.
Few months into our relationship or I think it's right after our 1st anniversary, out of nowhere, H just whispered to my ear "I want to marry you". I turned my head and looked into his eyes and asked him what he just said. And again, he said the same thing while looking at my eyes, "I want to marry you. I don't want to lose you". Of course, that was not a wedding proposal, it can't be. There was no ring.That time, it was a big development from someone who doesn't believe in marriage, for someone who doesn't want to get married at all. Knowing that he wants to marry me was enough for me, it is until now enough for me. But now, the next question is when? And that question is waiting to be answered, as to when until now i don't know.And I'm dying inside to know when....
Sunday, January 22, 2012
Saree
Within four years, I accumulated sets of salwarkameezes and sarees. Most of my sarees are gifts from H and his family.
I enjoy wearing them during weddings and I love the georgette ones the most as they cling to your body and doesn't make you look more bulky with all those yards of fabrics wrapped around your body.
Sunday, January 8, 2012
New Year 2012
Happy New Year everyone :-)
I'm late again in blogging as December is always the busiest month for me due to the set-up and preparation of our pavilion in Dhaka International Trade Fair here in Bangladesh which will run for a month.
And H's sister is also here for 15 days vacation. Tried taking their family portrait but I still have to learn and discover what proper settings will be good enough for them because so far, all the pictures that I took, their skin complexion especially H is always dark (no offense meant here). I don't want to use the built-in flash of my camera, but I need to get a good picture of H under poor/low lighting. I'm using 1600 ISO here already just to make their skin complexion lighter but i don't want to see too much noise also. And yes, i'm using a tripod. HELP!
I'm late again in blogging as December is always the busiest month for me due to the set-up and preparation of our pavilion in Dhaka International Trade Fair here in Bangladesh which will run for a month.
And H's sister is also here for 15 days vacation. Tried taking their family portrait but I still have to learn and discover what proper settings will be good enough for them because so far, all the pictures that I took, their skin complexion especially H is always dark (no offense meant here). I don't want to use the built-in flash of my camera, but I need to get a good picture of H under poor/low lighting. I'm using 1600 ISO here already just to make their skin complexion lighter but i don't want to see too much noise also. And yes, i'm using a tripod. HELP!
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